Oak Creek High School
On Friday, Oct. 13, Oak Creek High School teacher and coach Michael Jossie was charged with sexual assault of a child after being caught having sex with one of his students on school grounds. According to news reports, the teacher and student were in an ongoing sexual relationship. High school superintendent Tim Culver’s official statement says: “We are shocked because the misconduct with which Mr. Jossie has been charged is inconsistent with his reputation in our district. We are sick at heart because we have committed our lives and careers to caring for and helping children and to learn that a child has been harmed in such a reprehensible way is unthinkable and intolerable.”
Clearly, the impact of any sexual assault goes beyond those directly involved to affect the whole community. To move forward, we must address it head on as a community. To build a loving, trusting and supportive community, we must move past our own prejudices and biases. This isn’t easy. But if we work to further open our hearts and minds—to acknowledge, accept and learn from our own mistakes and the mistakes of others and to come together in dialogue—we will be able to move forward with respect, trust and compassion.
Below are tools to further understanding and spark conversations. As you read them, please think about how you can transform these suggestions into words and actions that relate to you and your inner circle.
Learning Moment #1: Understanding Power and Control
Merriam-Webster defines sexual assault as “illegal sexual contact that involves force upon a person without consent or is inflicted upon a person who is incapable of giving consent [as because of age or physical or mental incapacity] or who places the assailant [such as a teacher] in a position of trust or authority.” Sexual assault is not about sex; rather it is about power and control.
When a person in a position of authority has sex with someone who is not an equal, sex becomes a tool of power, not love. In a teacher-student relationship, the teacher automatically holds the authority and power. When Jossie engaged in sex and an emotional affair with a student, he broke the trust that students and the community had placed in him as a teacher. One way to rebuild trust in our community is to chat about what we expect from teachers—what a healthy teacher-student relationship looks like—and then to identify positive role models.
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Learning Moment #2: Breaking Away from the Love Affair Narrative
The Milwaukee Journal Sentinel reported, “Police also interviewed Jossie, who said he had more feelings than you are supposed to have as a teacher for the student. According to the complaint, Jossie said his feelings for the student began to change after he took her to dinner at an expensive restaurant.” The media set the tone for the conversation.
Portraying this as a love story, or even highlighting Jossie’s comments, perpetuates the “romantic” narrative. In this learning moment, we can recognize that this is not a “rom-com” with a forbidden love story; this is real life with real consequences. Neither Jossie’s feelings nor his previous good character can excuse him from the consequences he needs to face for his misuse of power and breaking the trust in our community between teachers and students. So, let’s put this in perspective and help one another understand that this is a real teenager’s life—and many kids’ lives are impacted—and it’s not romantic.
We can also recognize how the media frame stories such as this. We must think critically about media narratives and reject those that excuse abuses of power, becoming role models for framing conversations around sexual assault. This is another reason to engage in open conversations with one another.
Learning Moment #3: Boundaries and Respect
It’s OK to feel uncomfortable having these conversations. That’s normal. But if you don’t feel safe, you have options. If you do not feel safe (not just uncomfortable!) bringing up the issue, or you feel calling someone out directly will invite emotional, physical or psychological harm to you, you can still make an impact by having general conversations about boundaries and respect.
Teach boundaries by asking someone if they want to be touched before touching them, whether it’s a hug, tucking in a tag on their shirt or giving them a high five. Call out the verbal and nonverbal cues the person is sending you in response and let them know you respect their boundaries. Also, talk about respect. Practice asking others questions and allowing their responses without pushing back or arguing. This can be as simple as, “Do you want ketchup or mustard on your hot dog?” Call out your accepting their preference—recognizing that, although you enjoy hot dogs differently, it is awesome either way.
Another way to talk about sexual assault, boundaries and respect is to look at examples on TV shows, in movies and in music. There are many safe options to addressing this topic in our community.
Learning Moment #4: Supporting Survivors
When someone discloses to you that they were sexually assaulted, you can provide compassionate emotional support. Listen with compassion, free of judgment. Say “thank you” to them for sharing their story. Show your gratitude for their trust and recognize the strength it takes to speak out. Provide resources, but do not force action. Present them with resources and allow them to decide if they want to use any of them. Allowing the survivor to decide the next steps is crucial to him or her regaining power and control in their lives.
These conversations are challenging, uncomfortable and not “Midwestern nice.” Do we want to limit our community by being “nice,” or do we want to do the difficult work of growing into a loving, trusting and supportive community? With these conversational tools for rebuilding our community, let’s accept this challenge to foster love and trust once again.
Elena Santi creates and facilitates workshops and activities surrounding consent, bystander intervention, domestic violence, sexual assault and stalking prevention. She works at Our Next Generation, a non-profit organization providing academic tutoring to students in challenged communities located at 3421 W. Lisbon Ave. They can be reached at 414-344-2111.
