Image: MaryLB - Getty Images
Devil - angel illustration
Last Month in my Publisher’s Letter, I asked the question: “Are We Becoming an Angry People?” I got a number of responses from readers who agreed that we are becoming more angry and that anger appears to span the political spectrum. It also appears to be a more serious issue than I realized, and the readers expressed a variety of concerns.
As I mentioned last month, there are good reasons why large segments of our population are angry. We are human, we have emotions, and we react. People get angry when they see injustices and when they see people in power afraid to stand up for what is right especially when they know better. But there is a point where you can’t let the anger take over your life. A little anger can spur you to act and hopefully channel that anger into positive actions. Sitting back and letting that anger grow is not productive. As we know, too much anger can lead to depression and other issues. It can end up destroying important personal relationships including marriages or cause some serious health issues including a stroke or a heart attack, to name just a few of the maladies.
The Cartoons May Have Had It Right
As a kid, the cartoons often showed a person facing a critical decision with their good angel on one shoulder and the devil on the other. The angel would say, “Yes, yes do the right thing”and the devil would retort “Don’t be a sucker, just look out for yourself.” I would not have said this a few decades ago, but now I think those cartoons had it right. We all know some people in our world, perhaps a hospice worker, who we view as almost saints, but they still have those two sides. They and fortunately most people have a much stronger angel that usually prevails over the dark side.
But there are those on the other end of the spectrum who are evil such as Putin, who thinks he is Peter the Great and invades an innocent country, causing thousands of people to die. There are others, for example, who for whatever reasons knowingly promote COVID vaccine misinformation which has caused millions of Americans to refuse the vaccines and in some cases end up unnecessarily dying. Fortunately, the evil ones are outnumbered by the decent humans. However, everyone, including those who try to live highly ethical moral lives, still make some decisions (albeit fewer) that are less than honorable. People may make some compromises to keep their job to continue to feed their families rather than find other work. Less honorable people make compromises to gain or retain power, to curry favor, to gain acceptance from a group or community, or to impress someone for any variety of reasons.
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What Can You Do if You Are Tired of Being Angry?
If you are tired of being almost constantly angry, you might want to start by appreciating that there are real reasons why you are angry, essentially validate your anger. Then start by talking yourself up, constructive self-talk and being more tolerant and forgiving of some of your fellow imperfect, but basically decent, human beings. Since humans are not perfect, perhaps you might want to lower your expectations and become a little more tolerant. Focus on some good in your world and what you personally can be grateful for. Then look beyond yourself. Look at the world with a longer historical horizon. If things feel particularly bleak now, look back to America of the 1950s and where women, racial minorities, and LGBTQ members were then and where they are today. Yes, there is much more to do, but we made great strides in many areas.
Not being naïve, you can also point out the deteriorating condition of the Earth with respect to climate change or the insanity of people freely purchasing military assault style weapons and you would be right. Things can change for the better, albeit much slower than many would like, and sometimes we do move backward, but in the long term, positive change prevails. Like it or not, we all in this for the long term.
So, You Have Two Basic Choices
You have two basic choices to deal with your justifiable anger: channel it into something positive that addresses some injustice or do nothing and let the anger eat away at you, causing health problems or transforming you into a cynical, negative person. If you channel your anger into action, you will feel better both mentally and physically because you are acting and taking some control over your life. Try it. And if your action is addressing an issue that is important to you and is a meaningful action, not a symbolic gesture, you might actually make your little slice of the world a healthier and more just place.
If you take the larger view and want to address a worldwide issue like climate change, figure out what can be done at the local level that would contribute to lessening the problem. There are over seven billion other people in the world, so you don’t have to feel that it is up to you to single-handedly solve the problem. Understand what you can control and what you can’t. The world changes when large numbers of people make incremental changes or work together to elect people who will represent their values and will fight for change.
Specifically, you may want to consider volunteering with an effective nonprofit organization, helping to organize your community around an important issue where you can see some results, or perhaps addressing the power structure by working on a political campaign or even running for office yourself. If you act, I believe you will be healthier, happier and may actually make your world incrementally more just.
