News of the Weird: March 5, 2020

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Feel Safer Now?

In a report published on Tuesday, Feb. 18, the South Florida Sun Sentinel revealed that school districts are struggling to comply with the state’s requirement that every school have “a good guy with a gun.” Among recent hiccups: Near Orlando, a safe-school officer sent her husband a nude video she recorded in a school bathroom while on her lunch break; in Hillsborough County, a school guardian thought her gun was unloaded when she shot through a mirror as she practiced quick-drawing in front of it, and another officer pawned his service weapon and ballistic vest—his supervisor discovered he was carrying a toy gun in his holster.

Let Sleeping Cats Lie

Lacie the Norwegian forest cat is at the center of a heated two-year dispute in Brewerton, N.Y., that has now gone to state’s highest court. Original owner Carol Money accuses adoptive owner Danette Romano of refusing to let Lacie sleep in bed with her, a key provision that Money says was in the adoption agreement both parties signed in April 2018. Syracuse.com reported that, according to the lawsuit, Money regularly visited Lacie in her new home after the adoption and found the cat to be “skittish and fearful” and became very upset after Romano’s husband allegedly admitted, “We don’t let Lacie sleep with us.” By December 2019, tensions had increased to the point that Romano complained to the Onondaga County sheriff’s office and had her lawyer send Money a letter ordering her to stop contacting her. Money’s lawsuit accuses Romano of breach of contract, lying about her intention to let Lacie sleep in her bed and demands the cat’s return.

Getting Squirrely in the Attic

An Oklahoma City homeowner hearing noises in his attic suspected squirrels might have gotten in, but when he went to inspect, he found instead... a man, lying on a mattress. KOCO News reported on Friday, Feb. 28, the unnamed homeowner called 911 and reported a “stranger in my house; I have a gun on him right now.” Police responding to the call told reporters, “there was actually somebody that appeared to have taken up residence in (the) attic for some time,” and the home has a staircase, “that goes up the side of the house with attic access.” The homeowner escorted the squatter at gunpoint to the driveway, where officers were waiting.

Marijuana Mayhem

Ypsilanti, Mich., police were called to an apartment complex on Thursday, Jan. 16, where they found a 23-year-old man smoking a cigarette and pressing a bloody towel to his side, MLive reported. The man told officers his partner, 28-year-old Neil Wasinski—better known as Nalla and referred to as she in court records—had attacked him with a 21-inch samurai sword because he didn’t buy her any marijuana. The attack resulted in multiple stab wounds to the man’s arms and torso, and one of his lungs had collapsed, according to police. Tracked down at her apartment, Wasinski told police, “Please… go away,” and she later claimed to have no memory of the incident. Police, however, did not “go away,” instead finding in Nalla’s apartment a still-blood-stained, 21-inch katana sword on her bedroom floor, according to their report; Wasinski has been charged with aggravated assault and resisting arrest.

Ketchup on Your Subway?

A rider on the New York City subway employed a novel way of protecting his personal space on Friday, Feb. 7, Fox News reported. The seated passenger removed a bottle of ketchup from his bag and squirted a squiggly perimeter on the floor around his seat, apparently hoping to keep fellow straphangers away. Twitter erupted with funny comments after one user posted a photo: “Gotta protect yourself from the mustard demons; they can’t cross the barrier,” and “What brand of ketchup, though?” New York City Transit doesn’t recommend passengers follow this guy’s example.

© 2020 Andrews McMeel Syndication