News of the Weird newspapers illustration
Vegan for President? Maybe Not
There’s so much to unpack about Hansel DeBartolo III, a 37-year-old from West Hollywood, Calif., that we scarcely know where to begin. After changing his name to “Sexy Vegan” three years ago, he had the new handle tattooed on his forehead and chest. He’s an “Instagram sensation” and an independent 2020 presidential candidate according to his IMDb profile. But most recently, Mr. Vegan’s been a resident of the Twin Towers Correctional Facility, reported the Los Angeles Times, following his arrest on Thursday, Sept. 26, on charges of sexual abuse of his dog, which authorities say he captured on video and posted on social media. “I do get judged a lot for being different,” Vegan told Dr. Phil in 2017.
Elvis the Pelvis
At New Lynn’s Peaches and Cream, a sex toy shop in suburban Auckland, New Zealand, staffer Kat Maher immediately noticed a strange customer on Monday, Sept. 23. “He was very energetic and erratic, going around the shop, talking a lot,” she told Stuff. Strangely, he also closely resembled Elvis Presley, with slicked-back black hair and sunglasses, although he was wearing a high-visibility orange vest. “He brought a sex toy called ‘Like a Virgin’ up to the counter, but his card was declined,” Maher said. When the purchase didn’t go through, the man grabbed the “fake vagina” toy (worth about $60) and ran out of the store. Maher reported the theft to police, but fake Elvis has not been apprehended. She also noted that the shop gets robbed about once a week: “It’s really frustrating when this sort of thing happens. So rude, and it ruins your day.”
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Sportswear—100% Off!
Sunday morning shoppers in central Auckland, New Zealand, got more than an eyeful on Sunday, Sept. 29, when, for several hours, pornography was broadcast on a large outdoor video screen at the Asics sportswear store. The X-rated scenes apparently continued for about nine hours—until staff arrived at the store around 10 a.m. and turned the screen off, the New Zealand Herald reported. “Some people were shocked, but others just stopped and watched,” said security guard Dwayne Hinango. The store manager, who gave only “John” as his name, said the incident stemmed from a cybersecurity breach, and Asics apologized on its website and through email to its customers.
Revealing Billboard
In Auburn Hills, Mich., a suburb of Detroit, motorists along an interstate got a free show late on Saturday, Sept. 28, after two people broke into a small building connected to an electronic billboard and uploaded pornography to the large sign. Auburn Hills police told WDIV that two hooded young men were captured on surveillance video entering the structure at 10:49 p.m. and staying about 15 minutes. Police started getting reports of the images around 11 p.m. “I was just looking up at it, and I was like, ‘Huh? Oh, wow. That’s porn!’“ said driver Chuck McMahon. Police are still looking for the hackers.
Horny in India
Indian farmer Shyam Lal Yadav, 74, bumped the top of his head about five years ago, and shortly afterward, the bump started growing, becoming what doctors call a sebaceous horn. On Sept. 18, Metro News reported that Yadav underwent surgery to remove the “devil horn” at Bhagyoday Tirth Hospital in Sagar, India. The four-inch horn was made of keratin, the substance found in fingernails and hair, and neurosurgeons were able to remove it with a razor. “However, the underlying condition will still need to be treated,” explained Dr. Vishal Gajbhiye. A biopsy of the horn showed that it was benign, and a skin graft covers the spot where it grew.
Man Bites Dog—No, Really!
In Rio Rancho, N.M., officers were called to the Rio West mobile home park Thursday, Sept. 26, following reports of a violent altercation, the Albuquerque Journal reported. Chris Galvadon, authorities told the paper, had used an ax to assault a woman, causing “significant injury” to her hand. But as officers assisted the woman, Galvadon barricaded himself inside the home, and the SWAT team and New Mexico State Police were called in to help. Negotiations continued unsuccessfully for hours until K-9 officer Diesel was sent in. Diesel ended the standoff by biting and apprehending Galvadon, but not before Galvadon bit him back. Rio Rancho Police Capt. Andrew Rodriguez said the bite didn’t break the skin, but Diesel will “be on antibiotics for a bit.”
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