News of the Weird: Oct. 4, 2018

The Kids are All Right

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Lawrence Mitchell, 53, gets this week’s Most Helpful Dad award for graciously driving his 15-year-old son and his son’s girlfriend (also 15) to a Port St. Lucie, Fla., park on Sept. 6 so they could “do their thang,” as Mitchell described it. The Smoking Gun reported that, when Port St. Lucie police officer Clayton Baldwin approached Mitchell’s car around after the park had closed, Mitchell told him the kids “aren’t out there stealing, they are just having sex. They could be out there doing worse.” When the teenagers returned from the nearby soccer field, Mitchell’s son told the officer they were “just smokin’ and fuckin’.” Mitchell was charged with contributing to the delinquency of a minor, a misdemeanor.

Try a Little Harder

While shopping at a Peoria, Ill., Walmart on Sept. 20, an unnamed 30-year-old woman filled her cart but also added a few items to her backpack: leggings, pencils, a quart of oil and a Jesus Calling Bible. After she paid for only the items in her cart, a loss prevention officer stopped her before she left the store. Peoria police were summoned, reported the Peoria Journal Star, and the woman explained to them she was hoping the Bible could help her spiritually. “(She) told me that she was trying to be more Christian,” an officer reported. She was charged with misdemeanor theft.

Those Privileged Prius Owners

After trying repeatedly on Sept. 12 to pull over a Toyota Prius driving swiftly and with expired tags on I-5 near Marysville, Wash., a Washington State Patrol officer finally caught up to the car at an intersection and verbally instructed the unnamed 42-year-old female driver to pull over, reported the Everett Daily Herald. “I will not; I drive a Prius!” was the woman’s reply. The officer then asked her to step out of the vehicle, which she also refused to do, so he forced her out. “I will own your bank account! I will own your house!” I’m a Prius owner!” she told him. When he asked her name, she responded, “None of your business.” Finally, she was arrested for failing to obey instructions, failing to identify herself and obstruction.

Going Unpunished

Tammie Hedges of Goldsboro, N.C., founded the nonprofit Crazy’s Claws N Paws in 2013 to help low-income families with vet bills and pet supplies, so it was natural for her to take in 27 animals displaced by Hurricane Florence in September. Hedges treated many of the animals, found in the streets or surrendered by fleeing residents, with antibiotics and painkillers for fleas, cuts and other ailments. For that, The Washington Post reported, she was arrested on Sept. 21 for practicing veterinary medicine without a license, after an official from Wayne County Animal Services visited the warehouse where the animals were housed. Kathie Davidson, a volunteer with Claws N Paws, said: “If she hadn’t done what she did, then they’ll be charging her with animal neglect and cruelty. What was she supposed to do!?” Hedges was released on bond, and the charges were later dropped.

Good Neighbor Policy

The Martin County, Fla., Sheriff’s Office has received repeated calls about a man in a Stuart neighborhood who conducts chores around the outside of his house in the nude. “I came out Sunday night to put the trash out, and I look over and he is bent over, winding up his hose, and I’m like, that’s my view of the neighborhood,” huffed Melissa Ny to WPBF TV on Sept. 19. Other neighbors are taking a more measured approach. “Literally, they are the nicest people you’ll ever meet; they would give you the clothes of their back,” neighbor Aimee Canterbury told WPTV. The sheriff’s department says there is nothing they can do as long as the man is on his own property and not touching himself inappropriately. The nudist declined to be interviewed, saying he and his family are private people.

© 2018 ANDREWS MCMEEL SYNDICATION