Barnyard Theater
British director Missouri Williams brought an adaptation of Shakespeare’s King Lear to the London Courtyard art facility in August for a one-week run, centered on a human actor struggling to stage the play using only sheep. The pivotal character, Lear’s daughter Cordelia, famously withholds flattering Lear (thus forgoing inheriting the kingdom), and her silence forever tortures Lear—and of course silence is something sheep pull off well. Actor Alasdair Saksena admitted there is an “element of unpredictability with the sheep,” but lauded their punctuality, calmness and lack of fee demands. Williams promised another Courtyard run for King Lear with Sheep in the fall.
Suspicions Confirmed
The U.S. Patent and Trademark Office in Alexandria, Va., has an award-winning “telework” program allowing patent examiners flexible schedules, leading half of the 8,300 to work at home full-time—despite a 2014 Washington Post report on employees gaming the system. In August, the agency’s inspector general exposed several of the most ridiculous cases of slacking off, including one examiner who was paid for at least 18 weeks’ work last year that he did not perform and that his manager did not notice. (The examiner, who had been issued nine poor-performance warnings since 2012 and who had flaunted his carefree “workday” to co-workers for years, abruptly resigned two hours before a meeting on the charge and thus left with a “clean” personnel record.) Wrote the Post, “It’s a startling example of a culture that’s maddening.”
Bright Ideas
Only China and Iran execute more prisoners, but Saudi Arabia also has a soft side—for jihadists. Saudis who defy a ban on leaving the country to fight (usually against the common enemy, Syria’s Bashar al-Assad) are, if they return, imprisoned at a maximum-security facility in Riyadh, but with liberal short “vacations” at “Family House,” hotel-quality quarters with good food, playgrounds for children and other privileges (monitored through guest-satisfaction surveys). Returning jihadists also have access to education and psychologists and receive the equivalent of $530 a month with ATM privileges. The purpose is to persuade the warriors not to return to the battlefield once released.
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Highly Committed People
Impersonating a police officer in a traffic stop is not uncommon, but Logan Shaulis, 19, was apparently so judgment-impaired on May 30 that he set up his own elaborate “DUI checkpoint” on Route 601 near Somerset, Penn., complete with road flares, demanding “license, registration and insurance” from driver after driver. The irony of the inebriated Shaulis judging motorists’ sobriety was short-lived, as real troopers soon arrived and arrested him (on DUI, among other charges).
Recurring Themes
(1) Wrong Place, Wrong Time: Late one night in July, police in Phoenix were chasing a speeding truck whose driver eventually lost control and careened into a house near Mulberry Drive. As officers were checking for victims (it turned out no one was home), they discovered a large quantity of suspected marijuana—and opened an investigation of the super-unlucky residents. (2) Right Place, Right Time: Shane Peters’ cherished 2004 Dodge Durango broke down on the road in Livingston, Texas, in June, but before he could return to tow it, a thief hauled it away. About a month later, Peters’ wife spotted the familiar Durango in town and with the help of police got it back—with (courtesy of the thief) a newly repaired drive shaft and three new wheels (and the thief's drug supply, but police seized that).
Update
The Michigan legislature and the state Court of Appeals (as News of the Weird reported in December) have, for some reason, given its concealed-carry gun licensees the additional right of openly carrying weapons on school grounds, and in August, a judge in Genesee County upheld that interpretation. Asked a lawyer preparing to appeal the decision, “If I’m a principal” and see someone “walking up to my building with a gun, what am I supposed to do?” He should, he said, “declare a lockdown…call the police.” However, the open-carry parent who had been denied access to the school said the court ruling in his favor was just “common sense.”
© 2015 CHUCK SHEPHERD
