News of the Weird: Week of April 9, 2026

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You Can Send Human Beings to Space ...

But they may not be able to pee there. For some tense moments after Artemis II launched into space on April 1, the toilet on board was not accepting urine from the astronauts, the Associated Press reported. They saw a blinking fault light and reported the issue to NASA colleagues, who talked them through a plumbing fix that solved the issue. Apollo space journeys did not provide the luxury of toilets; earlier astronauts used a bag and funnel system and left bags of waste on the moon. With the loo in working order again, the Artemis crew members are ... relieved. [AP, 4/2/2026]

Give Me a Break

Over 400,000 units, or 13 tons, of Kit-Kat bars were stolen in Europe the week of March 23, USA Today reported. The chocolate-covered wafers were nabbed in transit on their way from Italy to Poland. The stolen sweets were not the typical log-shaped wafers, but special Formula 1 car-shaped Kit-Kat bars. The thieves have yet to be apprehended, and the candy has not yet been recovered. In response, Nestle, the Swiss-based company that distributes Kit-Kats, launched a Kit-Kat tracker website on April 1 -- and that's not an April Fools' joke. "Help us find them. Use the Stolen KitKat Tracker," Nestle posted on X. Consumers can go to the website and enter an eight-digit batch code. If the number is confirmed to be from the stolen batch, Nestle said, the consumer or retailer "will be given clear instructions on how to alert KITKAT who will then share the evidence appropriately." Meanwhile, on social media, brands such as Dominos, Outback Steakhouse and PayPal have offered condolences ... and a little light roasting. "Bad time to roll out our Kit-Kat pancakes huh," Denny's said. [USA Today, 4/1/2026]

It's a Mystery

In the depths of Lake Superior, according to the Great Lakes Fishery Commission, "zombie" fish are swimming along with their brethren, the siscowet lake trout. MLive.com reported on March 31 that the fish, who are the same age and length as the healthy individuals, have lower weight and fat levels and appear emaciated. Scientists with the Michigan Department of Natural Resources are trying to find out the cause, looking at food limitations, disease, impacts of sea lamprey and contaminants as possibilities. [MLive.com, 3/31/2026]

Saw That Coming

A graffiti tagger in Bellevue, Washington, was plying their trade on March 25 when they tumbled off an overpass onto an I-90 ramp, KOMO-TV reported. Washington State Patrol said the fall happened around 10:30 p.m. The person was taken to a hospital with a possible broken leg and facial injuries. WSP did not provide details about any pending charges. [KOMO, 3/31/2026]

Unclear on the Concept

A repo man took off with more than he bargained for on March 27 in Detroit, WXYZ-TV reported. As he prepared a car for towing, he said, he looked inside but the windows were dark, and he didn't see a 2-year-old child, who he said was covered by a blanket. Jenny Liagre, the owner of the repossession agency, said the driver "did his due diligence. He followed protocol to a T." The driver was notified about the child during the tow and returned the child to their mother without incident. Liagre said the driver pulled over "four or five different times just to make sure the kid was OK." [WXYZ, 3/27/2026]

Least Competent Criminal

On March 28, Palm Bay (Florida) police were summoned to a field in The Compound, a remote area, because of a suspicious suitcase, WFTV reported. Inside, officers found human remains, along with a kitchen knife and, oddly, an Amazon package addressed to Lucas Sandler Jones, 19, of Indialantic. Officials are awaiting an autopsy report to confirm the identity of the remains, but they believe the body is 28-year-old Colie Lee Daniel, who had been missing for two weeks. Jones' girlfriend said Daniel was at Jones' house on March 20, and the following day, she drove Jones to The Compound, where he dropped two containers. Jones is charged with tampering with evidence, abuse of a dead body and transporting a human body in an unauthorized container; he bonded out after charges were filed. [WFTV, 3/31/2026]

The Continuing Crisis

A woman and one of a pair of identical twins have taken their paternity case to the Court of Appeal in London, Sky News reported on March 30. The unnamed woman allegedly had sex with both twins, four days apart, and became pregnant. When the baby was born, one of the twins was named as the father, and the other twin objected. But family court declined to change the father's name on the birth certificate. However, scientists testified that DNA couldn't distinguish between the two identical twins. The case is ongoing, but Sir Andrew McFarlane said that the twin listed on the birth certificate would have no parental responsibility until the case is resolved. [Sky News, 3/30/2026]

Clowning Around

In February, Bolivia's Ministry of Education decreed that schools must follow a 200-day academic year, essentially banning any days devoted to special events, like parties or performances. On Monday, March 30, the Associated Press reported that an unlikely group took to the streets of La Paz to protest the new decree: not students or parents, but clowns, in their recognizable face paint and red noses. Clowns, who protested alongside costume makers and photographers, are often hired for school festivals and other events. "This decree will economically affect all of us who work with children," said Wilder Ramirez, a leader of the local clown union. The group marched through La Paz, blowing whistles and setting off small fireworks. Some carried signs, including one that accused the government of " taking away smiles, and taking work away." The ministry indicated they would consider the group's concerns when planning for the 2027 school year. [AP, 3/30/26]

Goals

Theresa Gola, 99, of Massachusetts has always had an affinity for firefighters. In fact, the nonagenarian's family typically gifts her firefighter calendars every year, a fact known among the staff at the Palm Springs Post Acute Nursing Home in Chelmsford, where Gola has lived for a year. So perhaps it came as no surprise that for her birthday on March 28, she wished for a visit from "some hunky firefighters" -- and firefighters from the nearby towns of Lawrence, Lowell, Chelmsford, Westford and Dracut obliged. "I was shocked to see all this. I expected a couple to come. Not the whole fire department," Gola said. "TheyÕre beautiful people," she added. "My firemen are the best. They're my world." The firefighters were happy to help her celebrate. "We come here quite a bit for medicals and other calls, so it was actually nice to come here to do something for a happier occasion," Chelmsford Fire Chief Gary Ryan said. [WCVB, 3/31/2026]

News You Can Use

Things are looking up in the candy aisle after Hershey announced on April 1 that it is returning to the classic recipes for all of its Reese's products, the Associated Press reported. While the iconic peanut butter cups have always been made with real chocolate and peanut butter, other Reese's items, such as the mini Easter eggs, are currently made with a product that contains less chocolate. The move is apparently in response to a complaint from Brad Reese, the grandson of the inventor of Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, who questioned how the company could "position Reese's as its flagship brand, a symbol of trust, quality and leadership, while quietly replacing the very ingredients that built Reese's trust in the first place?" H.B. Reese's sons sold his company to Hershey in 1963. [AP, 4/1/2026]

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