News of the Weird: Week of August 10, 2023

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How Was Your Summer Vacation?

I bet it was better than this couple's. Alan Stevens, 50, of Hull, England, booked a surprise 17-day trip for his wife's birthday to the Dominican Republic for late June. When they arrived, however, it was clear the resort's "five-star" rating was a mistake. Hull Live reported that while at the resort, Stevens and his wife observed a variety of alarming behaviors. "When we went out to the pool for the first time, we saw guests smoking weed in the pool, people having sex in the pool ... one woman being sick all over herself in the pool, and another guest actually defecate in the pool -- it was disgusting," Stevens said. "We were approached by people offering us drugs about 10 times in the 17 days we were there. A woman fell from a balcony while we were there, and we walked past and saw her body hidden under a sheet. ... We had no idea what was going on." He continued: "When we were out one day, I saw a man knocked clean off his motorbike. I just burst out crying because on top of everything else that had happened, it was such a shock." The travel company Stevens worked with offered 200 pounds in vouchers and counseling credits, which Stevens called "a joke. This was 100% the worst holiday we've ever been on."

The Aristocrats

Maryland's Kimberly "Kimycola" Winter has eructed her way into history with a Guinness World Record, United Press International reported on Aug. 2. Winter broke the previous record for loudest burp (female) with a 107.3-decibel growler. That's louder than a blender, an electric hand-held drill and even some motorcycles. She prepared for the event with breakfast, coffee and beer. Winter said to achieve the big belch, she takes a deep breath and tries to "manipulate that into something monstrous and magical." She admitted she loves to shock strangers with her burps. "I love to be loud and proud!"

Suspicions Confirmed

The Hangzhou Zoo in eastern China has gotten a big bump in visitor numbers this week -- 30% more, to 20,000 a day! -- since Angela the Malayan sun bear went viral. Reuters reported that Angela captured social media attention when she stood up on her hind legs and stretched her neck out to look at visitors. In fact, her behavior was so humanlike that people thought maybe the zoo had dressed a worker up in a bear suit. "After we saw the video on the internet, we specially took the high-speed train from Suzhou to come over to see the bear," Qiang Ming said. "If this is fake it deserves an Oscar for special effects," said one commenter. But no! Angela is "definitely not a human. Our zoo is government-run, so that kind of situation would not happen," the zoo responded.

Unconventional Weapon

Jennifer Colandrea, 42, of St. Petersburg, Florida, was charged with domestic battery after an incident on July 31, The Smoking Gun reported. As her ex-husband, Brian Drummond, 42, slept in the home they share, Colandrea allegedly violently ripped his CPAP machine off his face, causing a cut on his lower lip, and started arguing with him. The two divorced in 2009 but have been sharing a home. Colandrea was released on her own recognizance and ordered to stay away from Drummond.

Molehill, Meet Mountain

Cedar Point Shores Waterpark in Sandusky, Ohio, was the scene of what might have been a routine dust-up between patrons on July 27. But, as The Smoking Gun reported, it developed into much more. Cops responded after a woman allegedly called a child a "brat" and "fat ass" and pushed him off a floating toy. She identified herself as Jennifer Lee Miller, 67, and said she was a "Christian woman, a grandmother, and she wouldn't do such a thing," police said. After officers gave her a warning and left the scene, they determined that the woman had given them a false name; she is really Janet Nale of Taylor, Michigan, and she was arrested for obstruction. "She lied about all her information and had no reason for doing so," one officer said.

Wait, What?

Bob Blankenship of Ormond Beach, Florida, wants some answers after a May incident where he discovered airplane parts, including a windshield, in his yard, News 6 reported. Blankenship lives near the Ormond Beach Airport and is used to the noise, but pieces of fiberglass and metal falling from the sky concerned him: "It could fall on anybody out here," he said. "Just think if it fell from 300 feet. What's the impact going to be? Probably cut you in two." Blankenship determined which plane had been flying over and contacted the airport, leaving his contact information. Later, he got a message from the pilot: "Hey, this is Douglas and I'm over in DeLand and I lost a piece of my airplane yesterday. ... I'm wondering if I can connect with you and come and get it." No, said Blankenship. He reported the incident to the FAA, which claimed that "the falling aircraft part situation is being taken seriously by our organization," but he's unsatisfied with their slow response. "The next time it could be somebody's life," he said.

Rude

British Columbia real estate agent Mike Rose is out on his ear in Kamloops after he was caught on video swigging milk straight from the bottle at a home he was showing. Canoe reported on July 28 that Rose was waiting for his clients to arrive for a showing; after slaking his thirst, he returned the milk jug to the refrigerator. Rose apologized, saying his behavior was out of character and he was "unusually dehydrated," but his clients replaced him and he was ordered to pay a $22,500 fine.

Sporting News

• During a friendly soccer match on July 21 between Gateshead and Dunston in England, players and spectators were astonished as men wearing balaclavas drove a hearse onto the pitch, the Independent reported. Just before 8:20 p.m., the funeral car and a Subaru made their way onto the field, where they spun around in circles as their occupants threw leaflets from the cars. The drivers of the hearse left that vehicle on the pitch and hopped in the other car, which drove away. Officials were forced to call off the match. Northumbria Police said four men had been arrested and remained in police custody. "Disorder will not be tolerated in the community," police said. "Enquiries continue."
• The Seattle Mariners are down a player after outfielder Jarred Kelenic took on an unlikely opponent in the locker room: a water cooler. CBS News reported that Kelenic kicked the cooler after striking out against the Minnesota Twins on July 19 and suffered a broken foot as a result. Manager Scott Servais said Kelenic "feels terrible. He knows he let a lot of people down." While his recovery may be long, he will not require surgery -- just therapy for his fractured ego.

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 (EDITORS: For editorial questions, please contact Josh Peres at jperes@amuniversal.com.)

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