News of the Weird: Week of August 20, 2026

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Toxic Teammate

A teenager in Maumelle, Arkansas, played with a rather toxic teammate during a recent high school football practice. According to an Aug. 12 report from WBAL-TV 11, after playing for about an hour, the student brought his helmet to his coach, explaining that it felt "unusual." Upon examination, a venomous cottonmouth snake was found hiding behind the padding. They called animal control, who had to submerge the helmet in water to get the snake out. "I've removed a snake out of a car vent, in the engine, purses, backpacks -- in a helmet? Never," Chris Davis, director of Maumelle Animal Services, said, adding that a bite could have been fatal. [WBAL-TV 11, 8/12/26]

Feathery Fire Alarm

An Alaska family cleaning out a deceased loved one's home called authorities when they discovered human remains on the property, Juneau Empire reported on July 30. Juneau police say the body -- a man who would have been in his 70s now -- was found in a deep freezer located in a locked outbuilding, and has been identified as a relative of the home's deceased owner, though no missing person's report was ever filed for him. Police estimate the body had been stashed for years, and are still investigating the circumstances surrounding the man's death. [Juneau Empire, 7/30/26]

Raccoon in a Jar

A raccoon wandered a Dallas neighborhood for several days with its head stuck in a mayonnaise jar before finally being rescued by animal control workers. NBC DFW reported on Aug. 7 that after many capture attempts, the critter -- which the locals named Mayonesa -- holed up in a tree near an abandoned house while Animal Services officers waited patiently for her to emerge. Once they had safely captured her, they took her to Dallas Animal Services, where they sedated her and gave her fluids before removing the jar. "Aside from dehydration after several days without food and water, she was in remarkably good condition and full of energy," Animal Services said in a social media post. Texas Metro Wildlife will care for Mayonesa before releasing her back to the wild. [NBC DFW, 8/7/26]

Plot Twist

Jennifer McFadden, the owner of Booklegger, a bookstore in Eureka, California, received a surprising note from an anonymous author, UPI reported on Aug. 6. The apology letter was accompanied by a book, "The Unstrung Harp" by Edward Gorey, and $100. In the note, the author explained they recently found the book in a box in their garage and confessed to having stolen the book from the store about 40 years ago. "I was so happy to find that the store was still in business so I could return the book and tell you how sorry I am for my utter lack of principles," the note said, and asked the store to get in touch if there was "anything further I might do to right this wrong." [UPI, 8/6/26]

Crime Report 

-- A Shake Shack employee is charged with aggravated assault, kidnapping and armed robbery after robbing the store where he worked, Yahoo! News reported on Aug. 12. According to the Maricopa County Deputy Attorney's complaint, Keondre Simmons, 33, of Arizona, pointed a gun at two employees, demanded $2,800 in cash from the store safe and locked them in the store's cooler. The employees' description of the robber matched Simmons, and he was arrested days later when investigators who were surveilling Simmons watched him leave his apartment wearing his Shake Shack uniform and return to the store for his shift. A representative from Shake Shack confirmed that Simmons' employment has been terminated and that the company prioritizes the safety of their customers and employees. Simmons is currently in custody on a $100,000 bond. [Yahoo! News, 8/12/2026]

-- Everette Krichbaum, 52, and James Gay, 35, are charged with aggravated battery after wielding a hatchet and a machete, respectively, during an altercation in a Publix parking lot in Panama City, Florida, The Smoking Gun reported on Aug. 7. According to the police report, Gay admitted to parking next to Krichbaum and approaching his vehicle for a confrontation over "prior issues." During the dispute, Krichbaum brandished a hatchet "in an attempt to deter" Gay. In response, Gay went back to his vehicle, pulled out a machete and struck Krichbaum in the face with it. By the time police arrived, they say each man had injuries on his hands, and Krichbaum sustained further injuries after Gay struck him unconscious. The pair were treated at a local hospital before being taken into custody. [The Smoking Gun, 8/7/26]

Statue Liberated

Greg Gatwood of San Francisco was doing yard work when he came across what he thought was a small stone slab. But as he dug, he discovered the object was actually a 2-foot-wide, 150-pound statue, NBC Bay Area reported on Aug. 10. His partner, artist Judy Gittelsohn, consulted with local experts and is working to determine if the statue is the work of renowned San Francisco sculptor Ralph Stackpole, who died in 1973, or perhaps one of his students. The couple's house is located near what used to be the sculpture department of the California School of Fine Arts -- now known as the San Francisco Art Institute -- where Stackpole taught. [NBC Bay Area, 8/10/26]

That'll Stop Traffic 

Rush hour traffic was shut down for two hours in Washington, D.C., on the morning of Aug. 12 after a suspicious device with exposed wires—which turned out to be an adult toy—was reported outside a fire station, WUSA9 reported. A witness said they saw someone place a suspicious package in a trash can near the station in a northwest D.C. neighborhood, and police say that the person who threw the item away approached someone at the firehouse before tossing the contraband. When police arrived, they closed local streets for nearly two hours while they investigated. Eventually the item was determined to be an "electronic sex portable pump device," according to the police report. Police cleared the scene and traffic resumed around 9 a.m. [WUSA9, 08/12/26]

Vanishing Goats 

A pair of pygmy goats boarded a bus in Portland, Oregon, during the busy Tuesday morning commute, Oregon Live reported on Aug. 12. Security footage shows them leaving the bus after being shooed out by passengers, then wandering into a nearby shopping center, but police were unable to locate them when they arrived on the scene. "So where did they come from? Where were they going? Did they have valid fare?" The Tri-County Metropolitan Transportation District of Oregon said in a social media post. "Some questions may never be answered." [Oregon Live, 8/12/26]

Mystery Cats 

Two-dimensional cat cutouts have popped up in vacant lots in Cape Coral, Florida, Gulf Coast News reported on Aug. 11. One of the lots has a burrowing owl nest, leading nearby volunteers at the Cape Coral Friends of Wildlife to suspect the cutouts were erected in an attempt to deter the owls from making more nests there. Cats are a main predator of burrowing owls, who are protected by the federal Migratory Bird Treaty Act. Furthermore, the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission classifies the owls as "threatened," and it is illegal to disturb their nests without a special permit. [Gulf Coast News, 8/11/26]  

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