News of the Weird: Week of August 6, 2026

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Not Great, Bob

David Cifaldi, 32, was hiking Granite Mountain in Montana on July 20 when he tripped over a rock and impaled himself with one of his hiking poles -- and managed to hike the 10 miles back with the pole through his side, the New York Times reported. Cifaldi, an ER nurse, assessed his wounds and determined that because there was no blood and that he could take deep breaths, he was in good enough shape to get himself to safety. One friend radioed ahead for help and walked ahead to warn other hikers -- especially those with children -- about the "gnarly" sight. The other friend walked behind him to watch for further signs of injury. The trek took about six and a half hours, and Cifaldi was in good enough spirits to joke around with his friends. They "started making shish kebab jokes," Cifaldi said. "By the end, they were calling me 'Bob' on the way out." He was cared for in Billings, at the very hospital where he works. Doctors there successfully removed the pole, but additional surgery could still be in Cifaldi's future. "I'm not an amateur hiker," he said, adding that this was "just a freak accident." [The New York Times, 7/27/26]

Pain in the Neck

A circus performer is recovering after his wife and fellow performer accidentally shot him in the neck with an arrow from a crossbow during a show, the Associated Press reported. Ana Daza Tavera, 42, and Edwin Cuervo Rangel, 38, were doing their regular sharpshooting act at a county fair in Middletown, New York, on July 24, when the accident occurred. The circus was canceled for the night, and Cuervo Rangel was airlifted to a hospital, where the arrow was removed and the wound site stitched up. Ringmaster Benjamin Jackson said that there was "no blood leaking out. There was a little around the hole where the arrow went in, kind of like getting your ear pierced," he said. The circus resumed its regular schedule, but the sharpshooting act is on hold while Cuervo Rangel makes a full recovery. [AP, 7/27/26]

Wild Things

Facing the loss of federal grants for a program that studies marmots, a group of researchers from the Rocky Mountain Biological Laboratory has turned to an unusual source for financial support: an OnlyFans page called OnlyMarms, UPI reported on July 28. Professor Daniel Blumstein, the head of the program, says they will also continue to seek traditional funding sources. "[The OnlyMarms page is] going to be G-rated, and we're not going to sexualize this," Blumstein said. "We're just going to have fun with sharing." Masters student Emily Renkey runs the page. "Sometimes I'm just posting the videos I think will get the most 'awws,'" she said. "But my favorite is when I find footage of a particular behavior and I can use that to educate people." Fans of the page can leave tips to support the group's research. [UPI, 7/28/26]

Nature Gone Wild

              -- On July 24, WJTV reported that a six-foot-iguana made a break for it inside a Memphis FedEx, after a man opened a package that contained the large lizard. In a video of the incident, a man is seen opening a large box and the iguana, named Titan, jumps out. "He was shipped overnight, and I expected him to be stiff for a minute like most reptiles after shipping. Nope. Titan came out ready for all the smoke," owner Roderick Duncan said. Duncan and FedEx employees eventually captured Titan, who ran around the store. Appreciative of the assistance from the FedEx employees, Duncan said, "They handled it like champs." [WJTV, 7/24/26]

              -- In Douglas County, Colorado, sheriff's deputies responded to a call about a break-in, only to discover the culprits weren't of the human variety: Two cubs had found their way into the home through an open window, UPI reported on July 27. After exploring the home, the bears settled on a dinner of cat food. Colorado Parks and Wildlife responded and assisted deputies in directing the bears out of the home and into the woods. [UPI, 7/27/26]

              -- Meanwhile, over in Gold Hill, Colorado, a bear broke into an unlocked car overnight and, unable to get out, laid on the horn. All night. KOSI reported on July 22 that when the owner came upon his car the next morning, he saw the driver's side airbag had been deployed and the interior ransacked. Afraid to get too close, he devised a plan, no doubt inspired by parents of children with loose teeth: He tied a rope around the car door handle, walked a safe distance away ... and yanked. The door flew open and the bear ambled out and into the woods. [KOSI, 7/22/26]

Mowing While Intoxicated

An Iowa woman was arrested on July 24 for driving a riding lawn mower in a Casey's convenience store parking lot outside Iowa City, The Smoking Gun reported. The witness indicated that the driver, Michelle Hudson, 36, seemed to be intoxicated. A breath test showed she was under the legal limit, but the police report said Hudson did not perform well on the field sobriety test and "showed measurable signs of impairment." Hudson's driver's license was suspended after a 2022 conviction for driving her SUV while under the influence of meth. After the lawn mower incident, she was arrested for operating under the influence and driving while barred. She is being held in the county jail without bond while she waits for her court appearance. [The Smoking Gun, 7/27/26]

Castaway

On July 21, Kai Sato of California was rescued by the crew of a container ship after spending a month stranded at sea. The Guardian reported that the 39-year-old man set sail from the Catalina Islands in California on June 7 with the intention of completing his first solo trip across the Pacific Ocean; but a few weeks into the journey, his mast broke, his phone died and he ran out of gas trying to use the boat's motor to steer. "I was literally like a sitting duck, just getting taken south by the current going way off course," he said. After a brief period of despair, he managed to cobble together some repairs using PVC pipes and kayak paddles, collected drinking water from a plastic bag that collected condensation, and ate fish and squid that jumped into his boat. Eventually, his boat drifted into a shipping lane between California and Hawaii, where he was rescued by the crew of a container ship. [The Guardian, 7/27/2026]

Message in a Bottle

A 53-year-old message in a bottle has finally made its way home. John Kauterman of New Jersey was doing his regular clean-up of the wetlands in Upper Township when he came across the artifact. Inside was a note written by Laurie Blair, who would have been 9 years old when she dictated it to her older sister, who had nicer handwriting. The note contains a tall tale about "ruthless sponge fishermen" and diving in "shark-infested waters!" Kauterman took to social media to see if he could find Laurie. Her sister, Allie Spencer, saw the post and reported that Laurie died from cancer in 2019. Kauterman sent Laurie's letter to Spencer, who plans to frame it. "[Laurie] was really confident at the time we wrote it that it was going to be found, so I think she would say, 'I told you so,'" Spencer said. [UPI, 7/27/26]

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