News of the Weird: Week of December 21, 2023

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Bright Idea

If you're looking for a crafty project for 2023, the online shop Savor has you covered, Slate reported. For the low, low price of $46.95, you can put together your own "In Case I Go Missing" binder, which Savor says "makes it super easy for the true-crime obsessed to record their key stats for their loved ones." Those facts include medical and financial information, fingerprints and lists of "hangout spots." One woman said she added "a hair sample just in case they need it for DNA testing." Elizabeth Jeglic, a professor at the John Jay College of Criminal Justice, soothingly says, "The majority of adults will not go missing or be kidnapped." Her colleague Patrick McLaughlin offers some ideas for the kit, though: recent photos, the unlock code for your phone, pics of tattoos, scars or birthmarks, handwriting samples -- but he warns that such binders might not be admissible as evidence.

The Aristocrats

Wow! Things went literally and physically south on July 11 at a press dinner on New York's Upper East side in support of Robert F. Kennedy Jr.'s presidential campaign. According to Page Six, as Kennedy answered questions, someone posed one about climate change, but before Kennedy could answer, Doug Dechert, the event host, screamed, "The climate hoax!" Which brought a scold from art critic Anthony Haden-Guest, who called him a "miserable blob." The two continued their exchange, with Kennedy calmly looking on, until Dechert loudly released a "prolonged fart" while yelling, helpfully, "I'm farting!" After attempts to change the subject and more verbal antics, the evening wound down. The next day, Dechert told Page Six, "I apologize for using my flatulence as a medium of public commentary in your presence." How do I get on this guest list?

Bright Idea

Michael Raduga, 40, founder of the Phase Research Center in Russia, but -- critically -- NOT a doctor or neurosurgeon, nearly lost his life in June when he tried to implant a chip in his brain on his own, in his living room in Kazakhstan. The Daily Mail reported that Raduga lost more than a liter of blood in his quest to control his dreams. He said he practiced on five sheep's brains and watched hours of neurosurgery on YouTube before starting on his own head. "During the first 30 minutes I was ready to give up many times because ... I was afraid I could just lose consciousness," Raduga said. "I finished the surgery, I took a shower and I worked for 10 hours straight. People didn't know." But neurosurgeon Alex Green of the University of Oxford wasn't having it. "This is an extremely dangerous thing to do," he said. "We are probably decades away from being able to synthesize new experiences."

Weird Fashion

It's about time! Japanese garment company Takikou has developed a wearable bean bag, Oddity Central reported. "This concept was born out of the idea of a cushion that would allow you to totally let go, anytime, anywhere," said the company's Shogo Takikawa. "You can put this on and chill out in your living room or loads of other places." The bean bag is available in different sizes and colors, but it does weigh about 11 pounds (which might make you want to sit down more often). Prices range from $60 to $119.

New World Order

Tired of your John Hancock looking like a child's scribble? Priscilla Molina of Los Angeles can help with that. The Associated Press reported that Molina's business, Planet of Names, will make over anyone's signature for between $10 and $55. People seeking her service are "not happy with their signatures. They don't relate to who they are. They don't give the message they want to convey to the world," Molina said. She designs up to 300 custom signatures per month, and offers a range of styles, from elegant and artistic to ... illegible.

Can't Possibly Be True

Pastor John Lindell of the James River Church in Springfield, Missouri, claimed on the congregation's livestream on March 15 that a "creative miracle" had taken place the day before at the church's Joplin location, the Springfield News-Leader reported. Lindell explained that "prayer team members" had prayed over Kristina Dines, who had had three toes amputated after her husband shot her in 2015. "As the ladies prayed for Krissy ... all three toes grew, and by that point, were longer than her pinky toe," Lindell said in the livestream. "Within an hour, nails began to grow on all the toes," he added. While Dines hasn't commented to the paper, she said in a video on Twitter that she saw the toes reforming. "Listen, do you understand? I can stand on tippy toes. No, I couldn't do that (before) because I didn't have toes to tippy on," Dines said. During the livestream, Lindell also suggested to parishioners that other miracles are coming: "... some people in this room -- you're gonna raise people from the dead. It's going to happen." Stay tuned.

Compelling Explanation

In Dallas, grocery worker Coby Todd, 21, is sure that a "mischievous child ghost" pushed a shopping cart into his car as he was leaving work, Fox News reported on March 30. The day before, Todd had gone "ghost hunting" at a home in Frontier Village, Texas, and had sensed the presence of a "little boy" spirit, he said. He thinks the spirit followed him home and to work the next day. "Maybe he was trying to play with me," Todd said. He checked out the store's security footage to see who might have pushed the cart, and it does appear to suddenly turn and roll on its own toward Todd's car. The damage amounts to about $25,000, and Todd said "it upset me. It's not fake."

Creme de la Weird

The Mondaiji Con Cafe Daku (loosely translated: Problem Child Concept Cafe) in Sapporo, Japan, was forced to fire one of its waitresses in April after she was discovered to be adding her own blood to cocktails, the Daily Mail reported. The cafe owner called her actions "absolutely not acceptable" and said the establishment would close while every drinking glass was replaced. "We will hire a contractor to clean the store, change glasses and dispose of alcoholic beverages that may have been contaminated," he said. He called her actions "part-time job terrorism." A local doctor said anyone who had patronized the cafe should visit a doctor and have a blood test.

Unclear on the Concept

Jerry Martin had what he thought was a winning idea for a retail shop: The Drug Store, where people could buy cocaine, heroin, meth and MDMA that had been tested for fentanyl. Vice reported that Martin's mobile shop, in Vancouver, Canada, was open less than 24 hours when he was arrested for drug trafficking. The store, housed in a mobile trailer that Martin parked next to a police van, featured bright yellow boards with prices listed for all the drugs. Martin wore a stab-proof vest as he sold the items from behind a plexiglass window. According to him, his plan included getting arrested so that he could challenge "laws that prevent a safe supply and result in death by poisoning" in Canada's Charter of Rights and Freedoms.

Florida

When the Brevard (Florida) Public Schools board met on May 9, the topic of dress codes came up, but it went way beyond hoodies and beachwear, ClickOrlando reported. Vice chair Megan Wright told board members that she has heard concerns about students dressing up as "furries" -- people who anthropomorphize animals. District 5 Rep. Katye Campbell weighed in: "I'm not a big fan of the furry movement, but ... if 'ears' means a headband with pointed ears on them, it's a hair accessory. Tails are different, and students meowing and barking at other students -- that's not cool. But that's not dress code." Chairman Matt Susin said his daughter is "tired of furries" at school and the subject comes up at least once a month at his dinner table. Leave it to District 3 Rep. Jennifer Jenkins to cut through the kitty litter: "This is not rocket science ... If you don't want tails on kids, just say you don't want tails." She said among middle school students, the new thing is barking and meowing at each other, unrelated to furry costumes: "It's weird, but they're doing it."

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