News of the Weird: Week of January 29, 2026

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The Passing Parade (Literally)

On Jan. 14, as Spaniards gathered for the Official Carnival Groups Competition in Cadiz, 12 men dressed as scientist Stephen Hawking performed a choreographed musical number in motorized wheelchairs, the New York Post reported. The men were wearing wigs and outfits typical of the disabled genius, who died in 2018 of ALS, as they performed. "Don't be offended, this is just for laughs," said Miguel Angel Llull, who wrote the lyrics to their songs. After the competition, the group planned to donate the dozen wheelchairs to ALS patients in need. "They are real chairs that cost us 400 euros each," Llull said.

Recent Alarming Headlines

              -- Police in Yeadon, Pennsylvania, wrapped up a months-long investigation with the arrest on Jan. 6 of Jonathan Gerlach, 34, who was accused of robbing graves in the Mount Moriah Cemetery & Arboretum. The Reading Eagle reported that Gerlach was caught red-handed as he returned to his car from the cemetery carrying a "burlap bag, crowbar and other assorted items." In the bag were "human remains to include two mummified remains of small children, three skulls and other assorted bones," the arrest affidavit states. Gerlach later admitted to stealing about 30 sets of human remains from the cemetery, some of which were in his basement, while others were in a storage unit. Authorities haven't determined what Gerlach was doing with the remains. He faces a total of 574 criminal counts and is held on $1 million cash bond.

              -- Bus passengers traveling from New York City to Washington, D.C., had a memorable ride on Jan. 19, Fairfax Now reported. The driver was supposed to take passengers from Penn Station to Union Station and Dupont Circle, but instead, he dropped everyone at the Vienna Metro station after police intervened. One passenger said the driver was going really fast and wouldn't listen to reason; "he screamed that he doesn't get paid enough and is refusing," the passenger said. When representatives of the bus company tried to call him, he repeatedly hung up and told passengers he "has family to go home to and doesn't have time to stop in D.C." "I'm the captain of this ship," he said. Passengers stranded at the Metro station were picked up by another bus and refunded their bus fare.

Irony

Spending too much time staring at your phone? Olivia Yokubonis would like a word, the Associated Press reported on Jan. 18. Using her screen name, Olivia Unplugged, Yokubonis urges people to stop their mindless use of social media. "People will comment and they'll be like, 'Oh, it's ironic that you're posting.' And I'm like, 'Where else am I supposed to find you, Kyle? Outside? You're not outside. You're here,'" she said. Yokubonis actually works for a screen time app called Opal, which people use to "reclaim their focus." "It's a fine line and a balance of finding a way to be able to cut through that noise but also not adding to the noise," she added.

Unclear on the Concept

As a boat captain in the Florida Keys, Bradford Todd Picariello, 65, is well-placed to (allegedly) find huge amounts of cocaine just floating in the sea. So it was no surprise that Picariello had the goods; his mistake was in selling a kilogram to an undercover officer from the Monroe County Sheriff's Office. According to CBS12-TV, Picariello was arrested on Jan. 19 after meeting with the cop, whom he told to bring a cooler to "make it look like he was getting fish." He also bragged he had another 100 pounds of cocaine for future buys. Officers also found $8,000 in cash and a handgun. Picariello faces three felony counts.

That's Creative

On the morning of Jan. 13, a woman in Nassau, New York, found a stray dog, WNYT-TV reported. She took the dog to a veterinarian, who noticed that a GPS monitoring device had been attached to the dog's collar. But the dog wasn't a criminal: The ankle bracelet was assigned to Lamont Alexander Holmes, 47, of Albany, who had been charged with felony possession of a loaded weapon and was scheduled to appear in court that morning. Holmes is still on the lam; no word on the pup.

We're Gonna Need a New Category ...

Another robot bites the dust. On Jan. 15 in Miami, a food delivery robot met its ignominious end on a Brightline train track after becoming stuck, Fox5Atlanta reported. Witness Guillermo Dapelo took video as the train struck the robot. "I was walking my dogs ... and that's when I saw the food car standing on the train tracks," Dapelo said. RIP.

Goals

For the low, low price of $250,000, you can be one of the first to reserve a room at a luxury moon hotel, The Philippine Star reported on Jan. 21. GRU Space, a startup founded by Skyler Chan, hopes to deploy the hotel to the moon by 2032. It will be built on Earth. "The hotel offers views of the lunar landscape and Earth, along with ... surface experiences including Moonwalks, driving, golfing and other activities," GRU claims. The first hotel, which is expected to last 10 years, will be an inflatable habitat. After that, a more permanent and expanded facility will be placed. "We live during an inflection point where we can actually become interplanetary before we die," Chan said. GRU believes likely customers will include adventurers, couples looking to honeyMOON in an exotic locale and recent spaceflight participants.

The Continuing Crisis

PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) is nothing if not helpful. On Jan. 20, the group sent a letter to Punxsutawney Groundhog Club President Tom Dunkel, offering to donate a "state-of-the-art" 3D groundhog projection -- a hologram -- for the big event coming up on Feb. 2. "Let Phil and his family retire," the group said, according to Fox News. "Pixelated pop stars are headlining concerts and long-departed celebrities are attending conventions, so why not put that technology to good use: on a hologram that lets the real Phil hibernate in peace," PETA founder Ingrid Newkirk reasoned. "Give Gobbler's Knob a glow-up with a phantom prognosticator." PETA noted that groundhogs are naturally shy and avoid humans. "Every year, this terrified little animal is subjected to loud announcers and noisy crowds." Pennsylvania Gov. Josh Shapiro responded with a post on X, featuring a "Don't Tread on Me" flag, but with Phil replacing the snake.

News You Can Use

A German practice is making its way to the United States, NBC Los Angeles reported on Jan. 21. "Luften," which translates to "airing out" but is also called "house burping," involves opening doors and windows even in the dead of winter to bring in fresh air. Air quality professional Tony Abate is a fan. He said outside air can decrease concentrations of mold, contaminants and carbon dioxide build-up. Optimal times to burp the house include first thing in the morning, after showering or cooking, and after having visitors. And it doesn't take long: "Ten minutes, no more than that is really necessary," said Abate.

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