News of the Weird newspapers illustration
Fine Points of the Law
Marc Jaisli, a councilmember in Buchs, Switzerland, was fined $7,390 after he purchased pink plastic water pistols for his godchildren, the Associated Press reported on March 11. Doing so violated the country's weapons law, prosecutors said. They ruled that even though the pistols were imitations, "they could be confused for real firearms due to their appearance." Jaisli said he hadn't been aware of the violation but paid the fine.
Rude
A German soccer match on Feb. 23 was abruptly canceled after an unexpected incident on the field, NationalWorld reported. As the referee was checking players' IDs while they warmed up, the child of one player "came closer and closer to me, then suddenly -- to my complete surprise -- gave me a sharp bite in my left testicle," said referee Stefan Kahler. "I did not start the game, because of the pain I was in and the situation. It was the child of one of the FC Taxi players who was to blame." FC Taxi II and Rot-Weiss Mulheim III will have their match rescheduled for later in the season.
Smooth Reactions
The Top Secret Comedy Club in London will no longer admit audience members who have undergone Botox injections, United Press International reported on March 10. "I've had numerous complaints from performers who find it increasingly challenging to gauge audience engagement and bounce off their reactions," said owner Mark Rothman. "Comedy thrives on connection, and facial expressions play a huge part. ... Frozen faces from Botox impact the entire atmosphere." Show attendees will be submitted to an expression check at the door.
Stay on top of the news of the day
Subscribe to our free, daily e-newsletter to get Milwaukee's latest local news, restaurants, music, arts and entertainment and events delivered right to your inbox every weekday, plus a bonus Week in Review email on Saturdays.
Just Desserts
On March 6, the state of Texas charged Amber Paige Laudermilk, 34, with abuse of a corpse, the Austin American-Statesman reported. The court filing revealed that Laudermilk, an embalmer at Memorial Mortuary and Crematory in Houston, allegedly used a scalpel to castrate the decedent, Charles Roy Rodriguez, 58, a registered sex offender who lived in Brookside Village, Texas. She then stuffed his sex organ into his mouth and told an embalming student who witnessed the mutilation, "You didn't see anything." Laudermilk faces six months to two years in prison and a fine of up to $10,000.
Saw That Coming
An unnamed man in Memphis, Tennessee, learned a pointed lesson on March 10 when his dog, Oreo, jumped into his bed and got his paw stuck in the trigger guard of the man's loaded gun, FOX13-TV reported. The gun fired a bullet that grazed the man's left thigh, which was treated at a hospital. "The dog is a playful dog, and he likes to jump around and stuff like that, and it just went off," said the man's girlfriend, who was also in the bed. Police filed an accidental injury report.
Irony
The COP30 climate summit scheduled for November in the Brazilian city of Belem is expected to bring more than 50,000 people to the area. So with the goal of easing traffic to the city, the government is building a new four-lane highway through the protected Amazon rainforest, the BBC reported on March 12. Not only are trees being felled, but the project is paving over wetlands. Claudio Verequete, who once harvested acai berries in the rainforest, said the project has destroyed everything. "Our harvest has already been cut down. We no longer have that income to support our family," he said. "For those of us who live on the side of the highway, there will be no benefits," he said, as the highway will not connect to adjacent communities.
Latest Religious Message
An American Airlines flight from Savannah, Georgia, to Miami was forced to turn back to the airport just after takeoff on March 10, The New York Times reported. Flight attendants first thought passenger Delange Augustin, 31, was having a seizure as he yelled and shook, but it turned out he believed a satanic spirit had invaded the cabin, and he was swallowing rosary beads to ward off the spirit. During a struggle, he kicked one attendant so hard they tumbled into the window on the other side of the plane. After landing, Augustin went to the front of the plane and started throwing punches at flight attendants. Other passengers wrestled him and his sister, who was flying with him, to the floor. The sister told law enforcement that they'd been traveling to Haiti to "flee religious attacks of a spiritual nature." Augustin had told her that "Satan's disciples had followed them onto the plane and the legion did not want the Augustins to make it to Haiti." The swallowed beads were a "weapon of strength" against the persecution, he said. He was charged with misdemeanor battery and felony criminal property damage.
Unclear on the Concept
Air India is begging passengers to "use lavatories only for purposes they are meant for," the New York Post reported, after a flight from Chicago to Delhi on March 5 had to return to O'Hare. During that journey, passengers flushed plastic bags, rags and clothing down the toilets, putting eight of the 12 lavatories out of order. The plane was over Greenland when it turned back to Chicago, five hours into the 14-hour flight. "The decision to divert was taken entirely in the interest of passenger comfort and safety," Air India reps said. "Our teams have previously also found objects such as blankets, innerwear and diapers," they said.
|
|
Americans Abroad
Instagram influencer and "outdoor enthusiast" Sam Jones may lose her visa for Australia after she posted a video of her grabbing a wild baby wombat from its distressed mother, the BBC reported. The post on March 11 has since been deleted from her Instagram account. Australia's Prime Minister Anthony Albanese suggested she "take a baby crocodile from its mother and see how you go there." In the video, Jones carries the hissing and struggling joey to a car, saying, "I caught a baby wombat!" as the mother chases her. She then puts the joey back down beside the road. But wombat experts are unamused. "Snatching a screaming baby wombat from their mother is not just appalling, it's very possibly illegal under state or national laws," said Suzanne Milthorpe of World Animal Protection Australia.
The Foreign Press
The South China Morning Post reported on March 7 that online shops are selling "bank soil" -- dirt dug up outside major Chinese banks that is said to bring wealth and good fortune to buyers. The price can be as high as $120 per portion. The soil is harvested from potted plants in bank lobbies or green areas outside the buildings. A sales rep claimed, "This soil ... is believed to enhance wealth and dissolve bad energy, though we cannot scientifically prove this." They went on to say the soil is collected at night, while another vendor said their dirt is collected at noon. One commenter asked, "I live next to a bank, so why has my fortune not improved?"
Send your weird news items with subject line WEIRD NEWS to WeirdNewsTips@amuniversal.com.
News of the Weird is now a podcast on all major platforms! Visit newsoftheweirdpodcast.com to find out more.
COPYRIGHT 2023 ANDREWS MCMEEL SYNDICATION
1130 Walnut, Kansas City MO 64106; 800-255-6734
