News of the Weird newspapers illustration
What's in a Name?
It's election time in the town of Arcis-Sur-Aube in France, where the office of mayor is up for grabs. Metro News reported on March 19 that the burg's 2,785 people will have a choice between Charles Hittler, the incumbent, and Antoine Renault-Zielenski, the 28-year-old far-right candidate. Hittler isn't a fan of the fuss: "If people were talking about the town and our policies, that would be one thing," he said. "But all they're interested in is our names." He said his father considered changing his name after World War II, but it would have been too expensive. The election is scheduled for March 22. [Metro News, 3/19/2026]
Inexplicable
Most people can't wait to leave the hospital after a stay for medical care. But at Tallahassee Memorial Healthcare in Florida, one patient isn't budging. WCTV reported on March 16 that a patient has occupied a room there since at least October, having been admitted for "acute care hospital services." The first formal discharge order was filed on Oct. 7, with subsequent orders filed on Nov. 24 and March 2. Hospital staff have made repeated efforts to "safely complete discharge," including coordinating with family members and arranging transportation. A hearing is set for March 30. [WCTV, 3/16/2026]
Least Competent Criminal
Patrick Alexander, 33, was THIS CLOSE to walking out of the Chesterfield County (Mississippi) Detention Center on March 16, having been ordered to pay a $250 bond on a trespassing charge. He handed three $100 bills to the judge, WSB-TV reported, and said, "Keep the change." But the sharp-eyed judge noticed something weird about the bills -- an unusual color, along with Chinese writing on the backs. A counterfeit detection pen backed him up -- the bills were fake. Alexander faces an additional charge of forgery, and he was returned to custody. [WSB, 3/18/2026]
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Field Report
On March 10, a man and woman from Germany, who had been trying to ski 104 miles across a frozen lake between Finland and Sweden, had to be rescued after the ice around them broke up, the New York Post reported. They had been camping on the Gulf of Bothnia, which typically is frozen for much of the year, when almost all of their equipment went into the water. Finnish border guards received a distress signal and sent out a search plane and hovercraft. Fortunately, the couple had spelled out SOS with ice blocks and were rescued about five hours after their ordeal began. They were "of course cold" but were unharmed. [NYPost, 3/17/2026]
Ewwww
If you're wondering where all your hair ties go, maybe check in with your family feline. United Press International reported on March 17 that the HALO No-Kill Rescue Shelter in Sebastian, Florida, recently took in Midnite, a cat who had been diagnosed with an intestinal blockage and marked for euthanasia at another facility. When Midnite underwent surgery, doctors found the cause of the blockage: 26 hair ties. "This is an important reminder that small objects around the house can be incredibly dangerous for pets," the shelter posted on Facebook. Midnite is recovering and displaying a healthy appetite. [UPI, 3/17/2026]
The Tech Revolution
A 70-year-old woman in Macau, China, went to the hospital after being startled by a 4-foot-4-inch robot on March 5, the Macau Post reported. As the woman walked along the street around 9 p.m., the bot followed her; she turned around and shouted, "You're making my heart race! You've got plenty to do, so what's the point of messing around with this?" Two police officers escorted the bot away; they later discovered it is owned by a tutorial center in the neighborhood, and the man operating it remotely said he was testing it. The bot, a Unitree G1, retails for about $13,000. The woman was released from the hospital. [Macau Post, 3/11/2026]
The Entrepreneurial Spirit
Talk about making lemonade. Javier Yat, a 23-year-old mechanic in Brooklyn, New York, is lining his pockets with cash after setting up a tire station next to a huge pothole, the New York Post reported on March 17. Yat works out of his van and typically runs out of replacement tires each night. "I have to pay a runner to go back and forth to the shop for me and pick up what I need," Yat said. "I think the pothole is approximately 60 square inches and 12 inches deep," he said. He arrives in the area around 12:30 a.m. and stays until 10 a.m., changing 15 to 20 tires each night and charging between $150 and $300 per tire. "One man's misfortune is another man's blessing," Yat said. [NY Post, 3/17/2026]
Recurring Themes
On March 18, as a shopper perused the plush toys at Hobart International Airport in Australia, they spotted a cute little face peering out from the shelf -- and blinking. The Guardian reported that a brushtail possum had made itself at home among the stuffed kangaroos and dingoes, delighting customers and staff. Airport officials safely removed the little bundle of fur, but it'll not be forgotten: "We'll have a little shrine to the possum," said Liam Bloomfield, retail manager. "There will be a nice little photo; once it gets a name, we will put a nice little post in front of the store to make sure it's remembered." No word on how it got through security. [Guardian, 3/19/2026]
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That's One Way To Do It
Gustavo DeJesus Torres, 33, took his time in his bank-robbing spree, The New York Times reported on March 18, but didn't net much of a haul. Torres robbed six banks in five days across Queens, Brooklyn, Manhattan and the Bronx. At each Chase branch, Torres handed the teller a note saying people would get hurt if they didn't hand over money. He got $320 and $265 from a couple of banks, but walked away with just $20 from another. And three branches gave him nothing at all. His total "earnings" were just $605. Police are still searching for Torres, who has been charged with bank robbery before. [New York Times, 3/18/2026]
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