News of the Weird: Week of November 9, 2023

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Be Careful What You Ask For

A store in Swansea, Wales, that supports the Barnardo children's charity has circulated a request to its donors, United Press International reported on Oct. 27: Please don't send us your sex toys. "Please be mindful that we are a children's charity and as such we have a range of ages on our wonderful volunteer team," the statement read. "We therefore ask that you refrain from donating your used and unused marital aids! ... The branch has CCTV so that these items can be traced back to their owners." In other words, we know who you are.

Ewwwww!

Desirae Kelly of Farmington, Missouri, woke up at 5 a.m. on Oct. 24 to a strange feeling. "I actually felt something move in my ear," Kelly said in a TikTok video. Fox News reported that Kelly was in such discomfort, she started to cry in the waiting room at urgent care. As a nurse started to flush her ear with water, Kelly "felt whatever that was crawl out of my ear ... and I watched out of the corner of my eye something fall and land on my sweater," Kelly said. "I watch this black spider with all eight legs crawl across the floor." She said she screeched and threw up as the nurses trapped the spider in a container. "The nurses were so sweet and passed no judgment like I thought they would," Kelly said. "I don't think I could ever sleep without earplugs again."

It's Come to This

A 75-year-old woman in Pavia, Italy, had to get the courts involved to get her two sons, ages 42 and 40, out of her house, CNN reported on Oct. 27. Mom described her sons as "parasites" who had been living with her without contributing financially, even though both had jobs. Judge Simona Caterbi called the brothers "bamboccioni," or big babies, and declared they have until Dec. 18 to vacate the woman's home. "Once a certain age has been exceeded, the child can no longer expect the parents to continue the maintenance obligation within limits that are no longer reasonable," Caterbi said. The brothers hadn't decided whether they would appeal the decision.

What's in a Name?

Too many words, according to officials in Spain. Fernando Fitz-James Stuart, the 17th duke of Huescar, recently baptized his second child with a name 25 words long, Sky News reported. The name pays tribute to the baby's mother and father, other members of the family and religious devotions. But register rules limit a child's name to one compound name and two simple ones, and the duke and his wife will need to shorten the name for legal purposes.

The Continuing Crisis

— An unnamed teacher at Mesa High School in Arizona is on paid administrative leave and under investigation after he dressed up in devil horns and waved a pitchfork over students' heads on Oct. 25, KPNX-TV reported. Student Nathaniel Hamlet, who reported the incident to his dad, said the teacher said, "Hail, Satan" as he waved the pitchfork. "Some people thought it was funny, some people didn't like it," said Hamlet, who was insulted by the costume. For his part, the teacher said he was dressing up for Spirit Week at the school and was part of a "dynamic duo" with the teacher next door, who dressed as an angel. "Participating in spirit weeks like this is a way for me to engage with my students and bring fun to my classroom," he said. "It's truly not any more complicated than that." Mesa Public Schools said in a statement that the investigation is ongoing.

— The Toccoa Riverside Restaurant in Blue Ridge, Georgia, has updated its menu with an addendum: Patrons will get a surcharge if they are "unable to parent" -- $50 per bill for misbehaving kids -- NBC10 Philadelphia reported. A Google review from diner Lyndsey Landmann described a "huge scene" made by the owner in front of the whole restaurant: "He got in our faces and told us that we belonged at Burger King and not at his restaurant," Landmann said. "He was yelling." The owners, however, said they weren't going to "comment on a policy we've had for years. We just want to live in the woods and cook."

Questionable Judgment

As college antics go, it stands up: On Oct. 25, someone wearing a giant penis costume was escorted out of the stands at a football game between Sam Houston State University and the University of Texas at El Paso, Huff Post reported. A school spokesperson said the prankster was given "the option to take the costume off or leave the stadium." Sam Houston was winning the game until the phallic fan was removed; they lost 37-34.

News You Can Use

Bet you didn't know that every year, U.S. Department of Agriculture officials distribute oral rabies vaccines to raccoon populations in 14 states, driving around and targeting areas where the critters will find and eat the bait. But, as NPR reported, in rural communities, it's more efficient to drop the little packets from low-flying planes. "The planes have a tube and a conveyor belt that just drops these vaccines to make sure they're sort of evenly dispersed," said journalist Emily Mullin. Jordona Kirby with the USDA said the trick was to make the vaccines palatable to a raccoon, so they come in a fish flavor and a sweet flavor. If other animals find and eat the packets, it won't hurt them.

Inexplicable

Two unsuspecting visitors to Wortham Park in Houston, Texas, on Oct. 26 were the victims of a teenager's scream for attention, KHOU-TV reported. Alford Lasean Lewis, 19, and 18-year-old Kingston Miker cooked up a scheme wherein Lewis first tried to rob a man, and then sucker-punched another man in the back of the head, as Miker filmed the actions. "They did this for fun and posted it on social media, which is simply unacceptable," said Ashlea Sheridan, a prosecutor in the Harris County District Attorney's office. Lewis was contrite: "You know, I just made a mistake, and everybody makes mistakes," he told KHOU. "What people don't see is that I shook his hand after and gave the man a hug." Oh well, then. Case closed.

Buried the Lede

Joshua Dillon, 37, went on a drug-fueled rampage early on Oct. 29, forcing his way into two homes in Rush Township, Pennsylvania, WTAJ-TV reported. Dillon told homeowners he had been shot and was in danger. After barging in at the last house, he threw a television to the ground, dumped a CD rack, threw a lamp, BROKE THE HANDLE OFF A CAST IRON SKILLET (our emphasis) and rubbed frozen meat on his chest. Dillon had allegedly consumed a quarter-ounce of hallucinogenic mushrooms and now faces felony charges of burglary and criminal trespassing. But let's talk about that skillet handle!

Crime Report

Officials in Melbourne, Australia, raided a home on Oct. 31, where they found a meth lab, boxes of gemstones and so many Legos that they'll need a truck to haul them away, The Guardian reported. Police found 1,130 boxes of the plastic blocks valued at more than $200,000 and arrested a 36-year-old man and a 32-year-old woman. "This is the first time our detectives have seized a Lego collection," said Detective Inspector Anthony Vella.  

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