As a promotion for Charmin bath tissue,Procter & Gamble announced in October that it would once again create andhost a public restroom for the holiday season in New York City's Times Square. Last year'sinstallation included specially outfitted toilet facilities, but this yearProctor & Gamble will upgrade the event by hiring five bloggers("Charmin Ambassadors") to "interact" with the expected"hundreds of thousands of bathroom guests" and write about theirexperiences with Charmin tissue on the company's Web site, which will include"family-friendly" videos. Proctor & Gamble is calling thecampaign "Enjoy the Go."
Least Competent Criminals
- Michael Spagnola, 38, of Colden, N.Y., was charged with DUI inOctober after a sheriff's deputy stopped Spagnola's car and noticed the manclimbing from the driver's seat into the back seat. Spagnola then told thedeputy (from the back seat) that, though he had been drinking, he was not theone driving. However, the deputy noted, there was no one else in the car.
- Cesar Lopez, 29, was arrested at the Turkey Hill Minit Market in Lebanon, Pa.,in October when he emerged from a restroom looking for something inside thebaseball cap he was carrying. A police officer, noting that a small baggie wasstuck to the top of Lopez's forehead, speculated that Lopez had stowed thebaggie (found later to contain marijuana) inside the sweatband of the cap. Butwhen he removed the cap in the restroom, the baggie remained stuck to his head.
Compelling Explanations
- Robin Magee, a law professor at Minnesota'sHamline University, was charged with stateincome tax evasion in September for failing to file in 2007 and for filingreturns for 2004, 2005 and 2006 only very recently. Magee told the St. Paul Pioneer Press that she was"unable" to file on time because she has "extreme"attention-deficit disorder. Among the lapses of attention, according toprosecutors, was Magee's claim of eight tax exemptions, even though she issingle and has no dependents.
- Parenting Made Simple: A 13-year-old boy in Manchester, England,is about to become a father. The boy's own father told reporters in Octoberthat the kid "will make a good father" and "is taking hisresponsibilities very seriously. … He is mature for a 13-year-old and knowswhat he's about." The new dad said he plans to quit school and workfull-time to support the child and the 16-year-old mother, though the earningpower of a 13-year-old is uncertain.
Leadership in Action
New Jersey's Least-Savvy Politician: In a NewJersey courtroom in October, Atlantic City Councilman (and Baptist minister)Eugene Robinson, 67, explained that he had no intention of having sex thatnight in November 2006 when a prostitute tricked him into a motel tryst (as asetup by his political enemies). "I was waiting for God to send me the(woman) that's (destined) to be my Christian wife," he said, and since he“hadn't had sex since 1989,” he said he thought this was the chosen woman.Robinson, now in poor health, did not run for re-election.
Something in the Water?
During a three-week period in September andOctober, three couples in the area of Darwin, Australia, aroused policeattention for having uninhibited sex in public. On Sept. 13, a 29-year-old manand a 23-year-old woman were fully engaged in their vehicle (a stolen vehicle,according to police) at a gas station in full view of passers-by. Theypersisted even when a police officer ordered them to stop. Two weeks later, anintoxicated couple taken into custody by police was seen having sex by amotorist following directly behind the police paddy wagon. On Oct. 6, 25 milessouth of Darwin,a 33-year-old man was charged with reckless driving after he crashed his carinto a concrete drain while having sex with a 34-year-old woman in the frontseat. (The woman later denied the charge, in earthy language, to a reporterfrom the Northern Territory News.)
No Longer Weird
Adding to the list of stories that wereformerly weird but which now occur with such frequency that they must beretired from circulation: (91) The apparently irresistible urge of curious mento tinker in workshops with live ammunition, such as the attempt by a57-year-old man in Charleston, W.Va., in August to drill through a bullet in orderto make a keychain ornament. (The resulting explosion tore up his left hand,but he was not expected to lose it.)
A News of the Weird Classic
The New York Times disclosed in June 1999that about 2,000 obsolete, nonfunctioning fire hydrants remain in place in New York City, each dryfor almost 20 years. Apparently, the only purpose of the hydrants is to allowthe city to collect fines from motorists who park too close to them.Supposedly, a contractor will begin removing them soon, but since that costsabout $6 million, the project may be delayed.
© 2009 Chuck Shepherd
