Project Elvenstar
Kimberel Eventide, 36, believes her purpose here on Earth is to help other humans become elves, just like herself. A resident of Illinois, Eventide identifies as a “Pleiadian Starseed”—an “Otherkin” who first realized she was an elf after reading and watching The Lord of the Rings series of books and films. She spends her time dressing as an elf in silk, velvet or nature-inspired clothing and pointed elf ears—but she doesn’t wear them all the time because “my own ears have a slight point to them.” Eventide’s husband supports her elfdom, but “he does not understand it and does not watch many of my videos,” she said. “I am an elven spiritual teacher who offers personal Skype online sessions to help individual souls,” she explained to the Daily Mail. Her mission, called “Project Elvenstar,” is specifically to help human beings transform themselves into “High Elves.” “Ears are optional but can become a byproduct over time of becoming extrasensory and being able to hear better,” she says.
Game Over
Pavel Matveev, 15, of Mogochino village in the Tomsk region of Russia, apparently despairing of having lost a video game, was found in his yard Sept. 4 after committing suicide by decapitating himself with a chain saw. According to the Daily Mail, Russian media reported the teen’s single mother had bought him a computer, at which he “spent hours,” said one unnamed source. “This is what killed him.”
A House Divided
An Orlando, Fla., home will need more than roof repairs after a crane parked outside tipped over on Sept. 4, splitting the house in half so cleanly daylight could be seen through it. United Press International reported the roof was under construction when the machinery fell over, likely because the ground underneath it was wet, said Ivan Fogarty, corporate safety director for crane operator Beyel Brothers Crane & Rigging. No one was inside the home at the time, and no one on the roofing crew was injured, but the house has been declared unlivable.
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Love the Food—Or Else
Monica Walley of Holden Heights, Fla., wrote a negative online review Aug. 20 about the Daybreak Diner in Orlando, accusing the restaurant of refusing service to her disabled mother. The negative review didn’t sit well with the diner owner's son, Michael Johnson, or his housemates, Jesse Martin and Norman Auvil, reported WFTV. That evening, as the three sat drinking beer, Martin looked up Walley’s address, then they drove to her home, where Auvil, 42, shot three rounds into the house. “I actually could feel the air from the bullet as it passed by me,” said Ken Walley, Monica’s father. Auvil was arrested Aug. 30 and charged with shooting into a dwelling, according to the Orange County Sheriff’s Office.
McAsian McBoosterism
University of Houston student Jehv M. looked at a blank wall in his local McDonald’s and saw opportunity. Hoping to boost Asian representation in the burger chain’s advertising, Jehv created a poster featuring himself and a friend touting McDonald’s French fries. They bought used McDonald’s uniforms at a thrift store as disguises, then boldly hung the poster in a Pearland, Texas, location as customers ordered and ate around them. United Press International reported that, 51 days later, the poster still hung on the wall unnoticed, as shown in a photo on Jehv’s Twitter feed. As of Sept. 4, it was not clear whether management at McDonald’s knew of the poster’s origins.
Leave it to Beaver
On Sept. 3, as an unnamed woman drove through Columbia Park, Wash., she witnessed a beaver being struck by a car. She stopped and tried to help the animal, wrapping it in a towel before going home to find a container to put it in. When she returned to the scene about 30 minutes later, YakTriNews reported, she found 35-year-old Richard Delp sexually assaulting the dying beaver. Unsurprisingly, Delp was also found to be in possession of methamphetamine; police charged him with possession and animal cruelty. The beaver didn’t survive.
Contracting Stupidity
Billy Warren Pierce Jr., 44, an inmate of the Pasco County Jail, Fla., already awaiting trial on charges of capital sexual battery of a child, compounded his problems by trying to hire a fellow inmate to kill his victim and her family. WFTS reported the unnamed inmate told detectives on Aug. 22 that Pierce offered him $9,000 and instructed him about how to get into the house, even suggesting using a gas line fed through a window as the murder method. Jail staff also obtained a contract signed by Pierce, detailing the targets of the killing and the agreed-upon price. When told on Sept. 4 he would be charged with solicitation of murder, Pierce objected, “But I haven’t paid him any money yet!”
© 2018 ANDREWS MCMEEL SYNDICATION
