Dear Ruthie,
I’m a happy-go-lucky Lesbian. I consider myself pretty laid back and cool with an overall easy demeanor. In other words, not much gets to me, Miss Ruthie. I was surprised, then, to discover how much my new girlfriend’s use of baby talk drives me up the wall—not in a good way.
She morphs in to this bizarre baby talk when we’re in bed, when she wants something from me or when she’s trying to be cute. It’s not sexy, persuasive or adorable. Instead, it makes me want to crawl out of my skin.
It’s a new relationship so I’m not sure if I should say something or let it go. Hopes of it petering out on its own have not resulted in success. What do you think, oh great red one?
Mommy Wanna Big Girl
Dear Momma,
Tell that big baby to shut her wittle-bitty mouth and grow up! It’s time for her to take the thumb out of her mouth and find a new way of communicating. Baby talk is only cute when everyone involved thinks it’s cute; otherwise, it’s as annoying as a pacifier in the pooper.
If it’s annoying you this much, then calmly tell her (in private) that the baby talk thing isn’t really doing it for you. She’ll likely be embarrassed, so quickly reassure her that there are plenty of other things you adore about her. Otherwise, spank her tushy and give her a timeout!
RUTHIE’S SOCIAL CALENDAR
Sept. 27: LGBTQ+ Storytelling Workshop at UW-Milwaukee LGBT Resource Center (UWM Union, 2200 E. Kenwood Blvd., Room 250): Have a poem or monologue you’d like to share? Join this free class to get your piece off the ground and into the ears of the community! Experts help you pull your thoughts together and prepare you to be the best storyteller you can be. To sign up for the 5-6:30 p.m. course, visit uwm.edu/lgbtrc/programs/annual-programs/coming-out-monologues; email martinj@uwm.edu with questions.
Sept. 27: Pink Hat Party for SAGE at This Is It (418 E. Wells St.): Break up the workweek with this monthly party that honors the city’s many charities. This month, SAGE Milwaukee takes center stage, with donations going to advance their goal of caring for LGBTQ elderly. Wear your pink hat for discounts on drinks, and enjoy raffles, drag performances and more. Don’t miss the 9 p.m. fun!
Sept. 28: ‘Will & Grace’ Premiere at Fluid Bar (819 S. Second St.): They’re baaack! Will, Grace, Jack and Karen are ready to tickle your funny bone with a new season of good times (two seasons, actually!). Come watch the return of everyone’s favorite foursome with drink specials and other “W&G” fans. The show starts at 8 p.m.
Oct. 1: Show Tune Sunday with HIT at Sidetrack Video Bar (3349 N. Halsted St., Chicago): The gang from the Holiday Invitational Tournament (HIT) takes to the road with this annual trip to Chi-Town. For $40, you can leave the driving to the HIT team while you sit back and enjoy snacks and adult beverages before hitting Boy’s Town. Go shopping, find a lunch spot and then end the night singing show tunes. The bus leaves the southbound College Avenue park-and-ride at noon, and it heads home at 9 p.m. For tickets, visit eventbrite.com and search “Show Tunes Sunday with HIT.”
Oct. 1: Coco Peru at Hamburger Mary’s (730 S. Fifth St.): I’m willing to turn over my title as Mary’s resident redhead when it comes to the clever Coco Peru! She’ll be gracing the stage of the burger haven with her hilarious one-woman show! If you adored Coco in movies such as Trick and Girls Will Be Girls, you’ll relish this witty diva in person. Tickets start at $27; $42 tickets include VIP seating and a meet and greet with the divine redhead. See cocoatmarysmke.brownpapertickets.com to guarantee your 8 p.m. seat.
Oct. 3: Opening Night of ‘Rent’ at Uihlein Hall/Marcus Center for the Performing Arts (929 N. Water St.): Celebrate the 20th anniversary of one America’s favorite rock musicals when the touring production of Rent rolls into Cream City. Don’t miss the six-day run that’s loaded with music, dancing, laughter and tears. Tickets start at $31 and go as high as $131. Visit marcuscenter.org for tickets, show times and more. (Through Oct. 8)
Want to share an event with Ruthie? Need her advice on a situation? Email DearRuthie@Shepex.com. Be sure to follow her Facebook (Ruthie Keester) and Twitter (@DearRuthie).
