Photo Credit: Allen Halas
Ruthie
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Dear Ruthie,
I’m a straight guy who loves you and your column. So, I knew you were the girl to ask about this.
I’ve been dating a woman for three months. I like her a lot, and there’s clearly something there. She told me she was bi when we met, and I thought I was cool with it. Turns out, I’m not as cool with it as I thought.
Other than my buddies telling me I should talk to her about group sex with other women, that just doesn’t interest me as much as I thought it would. I don’t want to share her with anyone.
Because I knew she was bi when we met, I’m having a hard time talking to her about my feelings of jealousy and concerns about our future. Any ideas on how to do that?
Thanks,
Your Fan
Dear Fanny,
Thanks for the super-sweet compliments, darling! Now on to your issue. As feelings grow between lovers, it’s natural to worry about aspects that originally didn’t seem to be an issue.
Talk about your feelings. Let her know that you accept her sexual orientation and that you’re not suggesting she change in anyway. Remind her that you love her just the way she is. Explain that you’re feeling somewhat insecure, and that you’re not sure you’re dealing with her bisexuality in the most effective way.
If you’d like to deepen your relationship with this woman (and it sounds like you do), ask how she thinks the two of you could grow your relationship together. She may surprise you with words of encouragement, and she may even share what she’s feeling about you. In short, you need to be honest, clearly communicating your feelings with her.
There are surely hundreds of thousands of loving couples out there where one partner is bisexual, and you could be one of them! Simply communicate your insecurities, concerns, thoughts and hopes for the future with this lovely lady and take things from there.
Ruthie’s Social Calendar
February 5—Virtual Family Coffee (Ages 50+) via LGBT Community Center: Grab a cup of joe and enjoy this coffee clutch for older folks looking to share a smile and some good conversation. The virtual meeting runs 10 a.m. to noon. Simply visit the calendar area of www.mkelgbt.org for logon information to the Google meeting or email ccarter@mkelgbt.org for details.
February 5—ABBA vs. Queen vs. Blondie at Mad Planet (533 E. Center St): What the what?! Consider this the greatest battle of the bands of all time, and head over to Mad Planet for an incredible night of music, dancing, cocktails and nostalgia. A $7 door charge gets you into the 9 p.m. party.
February 5—Tucked & Loaded at LaCage Niteclub (801 S. Second St.): It’s time for a hoedown like never before! LaCage goes country during this 10 p.m. bash with tight jeans, sexy ranch hands, western music and the city’s favorite cowgirls. Doors open at 10 p.m. with a $6 cover. Don’t miss the 11 p.m. drag show, friendly bartenders and one of the best sound and light systems in the city.
February 6—Walker’s Point Mini Putt-Putt Winter Classic Tournament at Various Walker’s Point Bars: The city’s whackiest, wildest pub crawl returns to Walker’s Point with new prizes and more fun than ever before! To claim your team’s spot, sign up at any of the participating bars including Woody’s (1579 S. 2nd St.), D.I.X. (739 S. 1st St.), Walker’s Pint (818 W. Second St.) and Fluid (819 S. Second St). Prizes for the top 10 teams and a beer party for the best-dressed, make this a memorable afternoon of day drinking (noon to 6 p.m.) that’s not to be missed!
Have a question for Ruthie? Want to share an event with her? Contact Ruthie at DearRuthie@ShepEx.com.
