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Dear Ruthie,
My brother kicked me out of his house at our family Christmas. He said he was tired of my “liberal bullshit” and that it was time for me to leave. The upsetting thing is that I wasn’t even talking about politics or anything. I was quietly talking to my female cousin about a new guy I met. That was it.
He made a huge scene, and I was later told that many of my relatives came to my defense after I left. I love my brother but I’m not sure what to do here. (My brother) was always ok with my being gay up until recently. It seems a switch flipped after the election.
Both of our parents are dead, and we are the only family we have left so I don’t want to end our relationship. What can I do to remedy this and not deny who I am as a gay man?
Help!
Sibling Rivalry
Dear Sibling,
That sucks! Sorry your bro was being a Grinch this season and that your holiday was tainted this way.
It would have been nice if your relatives stood up for you at the moment of the occurrence instead of saying something after you left, but at least you understand they’ve got your back to some degree.
Have a heart to heart with your bro, letting him know that you truly value your relationship. Explain that you need one another and that both you of you must take care of your relationship.
Find out what his issues are. Is it truly a “gay thing?” Was he upset at something you said or did in his home? Did alcohol play a part? Make sure you fully understand the situation before proceeding.
Next, see if the two of you can’t come to some middle ground. It’s important you remain true to yourself, stay proud and keep your self-respect intact. It’s also key you increase communication with him, explain things from your point of view and try to strengthen your relationship.
If things ultimately become toxic between you and your sibling, you may need to step back and take a break for a bit. If so, remain open to the idea of a future reconciliation.
Ruthie’s Social Calendar
January 9—“Together We Can Change the Narrative” Discussion at Waukesha Public Library (321 Wisconsin Ave., Waukesha): The team at PFLAG Waukesha hosts this lively discussion about how to best spread inclusivity and compassion for LGBTQIA+ people throughout Waukesha. Open to all, the conversion starts at 6:30 p.m.
January 9—Drag Bingo for Friends of MADDAC at Pop (124 W. National Ave.): Help save the dogs and cats when you join me for a night of fun. Win prizes, sip frosty drinks and check out Pop’s popular menu. See why this Walker’s Point space is the talk of the town when you enjoy a few rounds of fun at 7:30 p.m. Best of all, bingo is free, and parking is plenty in the next-door lot.
January 10—Cruel Intentions: The 90s Musical at Waukesha Civic Theatre (264 W. Main St., Waukesha): Outskirts Theatre Co. brings this cult classic to the stage with a six-performance run. The naughty plot is accompanied by music from No Doubt, Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera, The Goo Goo Dolls and others, so stop by www.waukeshacivictheatre.org for tickets, performance times and more.
January 11—Miss Gay Wisconsin USofA Classic Pageant at LaCage Niteclub (801 S. Second St.): A hot spot for the LGBTQ+ pageant world, LaCage hosts another jaw-dropping night of glamor and talent. The exciting competition begins at 9:30 p.m. (doors open an hour earlier), with 4-seat tables going for $20. Make your reservation by emailing kmichaelswiusofa19@gmail.com.
January 14—Chicago: The Musical at Marcus Performing Arts Center (929 N. Water St.): Start the car … I know a whoopee spot! It’s the Marcus Center! See www.marcuscenter.org for performances and ticket to this popular musical that always keeps spirits high and toes tapping. A surefire night of delight, “Chicago” is not to missed.
Have a question for Ruthie? Want to share an event with her? Contact Ruthie at DearRuthie@ShepEx.com.
