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Dear Ruthie,
I’ve been dating a man for 3 years. While that’s a lifetime for some gay men, I’m nearly obsessed with the idea that I’m not good enough for him. I think he’s going to realize that I’m not good enough for him and he’ll leave me for someone else. I have no idea why he’s with me, and I worry that the relationship (which is great btw) is going to end all because of me.
Maybe it’s a self-fulfilling prophecy, maybe I’m paranoid or maybe it’s actually a possibility. I don’t know anymore, but I can’t stop the feeling of impending doom headed my way.
Help!
Feeling Lost
Dear Lost,
Oh, sugar booger. You said it yourself…three years seems like a lifetime to some. Three … friggin’… years. He’s hung around, and you’ve had this great, strong, lovely relationship for three years! Clearly, he’s vested in this relationship because of what you offer.
Take a moment and realize your self-worth and value. Think about what you’re bringing to the table to make his life better as well as what he brings to the relationship, making your life better.
We all compare ourselves to others (and we do so all too often). We look at people who are younger, in better shape, more successful, funnier, prettier, etc. Don’t let these comparisons (or insecurities) get the better of you. Be more confident in you! Celebrate all of the good in you and relish the gifts you bring to this relationship to make it as strong as it is.
If you find these feelings of “doom” are overwhelming, causing stress and steering you in bad directions, see a therapist who can help you accept your positive qualities and gifts.
Ruthie’s Social Calendar
May 3—Tequila Cocktails & Chocolate at The Corners of Brookfield(20111 W. Bluemound Road): Indulgence Chocolatiers hosts another popular booze-chocolate tasting with this 5:30 p.m. event. Grab a friend or two and check out this fun, informative night. Be sure to visit indulgencechocolatier.com to make your reservation.
May 3—The 19th Annual Bash at Marcus Performing Arts Center (929 N. Water St.): Broadway star Christopher Jackson takes center stage during this annual fundraiser for the Marcus Center’s non-profit mission-based programs. You’ll also enjoy dinner stations, auctions, cash bars and more. Don’t miss out on the extraordinary evening by purchasing tickets at marcuscenter.org.
May 4—Cinco de Mayo Festival at Corporate Plaza (2701 S. Chase Ave.): Mexican foods, music, dancing, taco trucks, a tamale-eating contest, a chihuahua beauty pageant, a car show and a carnival … what else could you ask for to make Cinco de Mayo complete? This lively, family-friendly bash runs 11 a.m. to 7 p.m. so settle in for some serious fun!
May 4—Kentucky Derby Day at Saint Kate The Arts Hotel (139 E. Kilbourn Ave.): Grab your best hat and head over to the lobby bar at this posh hotel. Live music, a big screen showing of the race, a savory appetizer menu, raffle prizes and drink specials make this a run for the roses to remember. Enter the Best Dressed or Best Hat contests, and you might walk away a winner!
May 5—Grilled Cheese Fest at The Tap Yard Beer Gardens (1927 E. Sunset Dr.): Five vendors grill up everyone’s favorite sandwich in this annual celebration. The family-friendly nosh-fest kicks offs at noon. Yum!
May 6—Karaoke Night at This Is It (418 E. Wells St.): Mondays are for partying at This Is It. Keep the weekend vibes flowing during this 9 p.m. sing-along. Arrive early to nab a seat and take advantage of specials on cans and bottles.
May 7—Project Q Youth Drop In at Milwaukee LGBT Community Center(315 W. Court St.): This free 3-6 p.m. drop-in offers a safe space for youth (13+) to socialize, make friends, find support and enjoy a healthy sense of community. Stop by mkelgbt.org for more, including a handy calendar of monthly events.
Have a question for Ruthie? Want to share an event with her? Contact Ruthie at DearRuthie@ShepEx.com.
