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Dear Ruthie,
My brother (23 years-old) is a drug addict. He admits he has a problem and acknowledges he needs help to beat his addiction, but he refuses to do anything about it. My family feels he’s living on borrowed time, and he’s not going to make it much longer. My parents admit to enabling him, but they continue to pay his rent, phone, etc. He is so bad that he is unable to function day-to-day let alone hold down a job.
We tried to hold interventions but those turned ugly and actually made things worse. Any advice on how we can get him into therapy would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks,
Feeling Desperate
Dear Desperate,
I’m sorry you and your family are going through this. This is why addiction is a family problem. Everyone gets sucked into the addict’s world, making things stressful, sad and overwhelming to say the least.
It sounds like your brother has taken the first step in admitting there is a problem. The hurdle is getting to the next step of actually getting help…and often that’s one big hurdle.
Most experts agree that forcing an addict into a program before they’re ready to commit to sobriety doesn’t work long term. That said, this all comes down to your brother reaching his rock bottom.
Until then, take care of yourself. You’ll all find help, advice and camaraderie in Al-Anon for families or another therapy program that targets the loved ones of addicts. There are numerous groups in the Milwaukee area that can help. Look into them and take advantage of the services they offer. Seek help and support for yourselves first, and you’ll be better equipped to deal with this intense situation. I’m sending all the good vibes I can!
Ruthie’s Social Calendar
March 31—“Trans Enough” Exhibit at Milwaukee LGBT Community Center (315 W. Court St.): Don’t miss this incredible collection of stories from the trans and gender non-conforming members of the greater Milwaukee area. Featuring written, recorded and filmed stories, the exhibit runs to April 3.
March 31—TGIF at The Bottle (1753 S. Kinnickinnic Ave.): The team at the Milwaukee LGBT Community Center hosts this happy hour at a different venue each month. Mingle with new and old friends alike in a safe, inviting environment during the 5:30-7:30 p.m. meet and greet. Can’t make the party? There’s a get-together the last Friday of every month. See www.mkelgbt.org for more.
March 31—Dining with the Divas at Hamburger Mary’s (730 S. Fifth St.): I’m hosting what’s been awarded Milwaukee’s favorite drag event. My guests, Miss Birdee, Dita Von and Bailey J. Diamond, and I put on two shows (6:30 p.m. and 9 p.m.) Make a reservation via www.hamburgermarys.com/mke to truly jumpstart your weekend, then let’s eat, drink and be Mary!
April 2—Easter Bonnet Contest at Harbor Room (117 E. Greenfield Ave.): Last year’s Easter bonnet contest was such a hit, the gang at Harbor Room are doing it again! Grab your Sunday best and make it a day to remember. Great prizes await those entering the 4 p.m. tongue-in-cheek competition, and a free lunch buffet is open to all at 1 p.m.
April 2—Sunday Bloody Bingo at Club Garibaldi’s (2501 S. Superior St.): A benefit for the Bay View Bash, this spicy take on bingo is one you don’t want to miss. Knock back a few Bloodies and win some great prizes during the 1-4 p.m. event.
April 3—Milwaukee Brewers Opening Day at American Family Field (1 Brewers Way): A sure sign that spring is here and summer is on the way is the Brewer’s home opener…and that day has arrived! The Brewers kick off the home season playing ball against the Mets at 1:10 p.m. Get your tickets at www.mlb.com/brewers/ballpark.
April 5—Deep-Dish-Pizza Day Cooking Class at Bay View Community Center (1320 E. Oklahoma Ave.): Celebrate National Deep-Dish Pizza Day, expand your culinary skills and enjoy fresh-from-the-oven pizza, salad and dessert during this $30 cooking class. See www.bayviewcenter.org/programs/ to register for the 6:30 p.m. class.
Have a question for Ruthie? Want to share an event with her? Contact Ruthie at DearRuthie@ShepEx.com.