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Dear Ruthie,
I recently met a man on social media. Facebook to be exact. We messaged each other daily, and it was great. As a gay man in his late 50s, it was great to have someone check in on me, tell me I was handsome and make me feel alive, happy and special again.
After a few weeks, he suggested I move to his neighboring state to live, saying he’d take care of me financially, which seemed odd for a man my age. I suggested that we instead meet up for a date. He refused.
The very next day, I was simply to busy at work to reply to his messages, and he went off on me, saying that since I was too busy for him, we needed to end our friendship.
The message was pretty intense, littered with obscenities and mean. I blocked him from all of my social media. Do you think I’m overreacting? I’m missing him now, and I wonder if I did the right thing. What do you think I should do or not do as it may be?
Thanks,
Goofy Joe
Dear Goof,
Sounds to me like you dodged a bullet, Joey. A guy who wants you to move to another state after a few weeks of messages? That’s nuts! You could have ended up in a cage in his basement. That’s scary...unless you’re into that sort of thing, I suppose.
Sounds like this guy has issues. Why wouldn’t he meet you for a date? Have you spoken on the phone? Do you even know if you were communicating with who you thought you were? He actually got that upset after a day of missed messages? Something’s not right there.
I say move on and find a fellow that trips your trigger without giving you the willies. Use the joy and comfort you initially felt with this guy as your motivation to meet someone else. Maybe look for someone a bit closer to home who doesn’t have such a short fuse.
Dear Ruthie,
I hooked up with a guy twice. It was great but I really don’t like hookups. The problem is that I’m having feelings for him and think maybe there’s something between us. He leaves right after sex, so I don’t know what he’s thinking.
I’m uneasy addressing this with a fuck buddy, and he doesn’t seem like a solid communicator. I also have a tendency to fall in love easily. I wish we didn’t take things so far so fast, and I’m now I’m not sure I can turn it around. Am I thinking about this too much?
Please reply,
Bear Cub
Dear Cubby,
Listen, sweetie, you boys enjoyed the free ride, now see if your buddy wants to take a more scenic drive. Simply ask him out on a date. Ask if he’d like to get a beer sometime, grab a bite or enjoy a coffee. It’s that easy. If he chooses to remain a friend with benefits, you know where you stand with him.
His reaction to your invite will instantly let you know where his mind is at, and your next step will be made clear. It’ll be up to you, sweet cheeks, to decide what direction you want to take things.
Ask Ruthie a question at DearRuthie@Shepex.com. Follow her on Instagram @ruthiekeester and Facebook at Dear Ruthie. Don’t miss her new game show, “Dear Ruthie’s Bar Wars” on www.twitch.tv/dearruthie, and check out her hilarious drag reality competition “Camp Wannakiki,” on YouTube.
