Dear Ruthie,
I’ve been with my girlfriend for a month now, and while things are going well, she’s way too touchy for me. She cannot keep her hands off me for longer than 12 seconds. I’ve counted! I like this girl, but enough! She pets my hair and rubs my face. She sits so close, it’s uncomfortable.
At first, I liked the attention, and I loved showing the world that we were two proud women in love. But now, it’s just too much. How can I ask her to tone it down without hurting her feelings? I don’t want to hurt her, but the other day, she wanted to play with my eyelashes. I just about lost it.
Help Me! About to Lose It
Dear Lucy,
The answer is simple. Slap that dame’s hand aside and yell, “Cool it! What’s your problem? Play with your own damn eyelashes!” No, no, no. That’s not going to help your relationship, is it? Of course not, so you’ve got to address this calmly and sweetly.
Think long and hard about what you’re going to say and wait until the moment is just right. Perhaps, when she takes things a bit too far... like trying to braid your nose hairs or sticking her toe in your ear.
Warning: This has all the trappings of going south fast, so you’re going to have to walk on eggshells here. Start with a little laugh and a compliment, such as telling her how adorable she is. Remind her that things are going well with the relationship, but gently suggest that sometimes her affections are a bit intrusive.
Another option is simply to chalk up her affections as cute and silly, knowing well that this is lovey-dovey phase will pass... and it might be best to enjoy it while it lasts. Your call, honey bunny. Let me know how it goes.
Ruthie’s Social Calendar
Aug. 30—TGIF Happy Hour at Boone & Crockett (818 S. Water St.): If you haven’t been to the new Boone & Crockett, this monthly party hosted by the Milwaukee LGBT Community Center is a great opportunity. Check out the new patio on the Milwaukee River as you make new friends, embrace old faces and raise a glass to the long weekend. The runs 5:30-7:30 p.m. rain or shine.
Aug 30—Ruthie’s Dining with the Divas at Hamburger Mary’s (730 S. Fifth St.): Join me and my guests for two of the hottest, craziest and kookiest drag shows in town! Grab the gang for the family friendly 7:30 p.m. show, or enjoy the hilarious “adults only” performance at 9:30 p.m. It’s time to eat, drink and be “Mary” with me and the girls, honey. Call 414-488-2555 for reservations, and I’ll see you there!
Aug. 30—Tommy Odetto at George’s Tavern (1201 N. Main St., Racine): Get the Labor Day weekend off to a rockin’ start when this California blues-rocker struts into Racine. Catch him and the boys for a balls-to-the-walls concert before they play the Harley riders the next day. The cover-free concert starts at 9 p.m.
Aug. 31—The Wizard of Oz Showing at Humboldt Park Band Chalet (341 E. Rosedale Ave.): One of the greatest, gayest, most-loved movies of all time, The Wizard of Oz will be shown at the Film on the Hill Series in Bay View. Enjoy free popcorn and visit food vendors before the film starts at sunset (roughly 7:30 p.m.). Bring a blanket and settle in for a magical evening.
Aug. 31 & Sept. 1—Third Ward Art Festival in Historic Third Ward (525 E. Chicago St.): Dive into the weekend during this colorful street fest that celebrates art like few others. More than 140 vendors showcase their paintings, ceramics, jewelry, sculpture, photography and other talents over the two-day event. Enjoy the family friendly event that also features live music, food vendors, beverages and interactive events for the kids. Free and open to the public, the festival open at 10 a.m. both days.
Sept. 1—Miss LaCage Pageant at LaCage Niteclub (801 S. Second St.): If you haven’t heard, LaCage is back in business—and it’s crowning a new diva! Doors open at 6:30 p.m., with the competition starting at 7 p.m. Email misslacagepageant@gmail.com to hold your $24 four-top table and let the glamor begin!
Sept. 3—Open Rehearsals for City of Festivals Men’s Chorus at Plymouth Church (2717 E. Hampshire Ave.): You do it in the shower. You do it in the car. Why not do it with a bunch of guys in a church? No, no, silly! I’m talking about singing! Come on down to this open rehearsal to learn the fun that’s to be had when you join this popular men’s chorus. To learn more about the 6 p.m. get-together, swing by cityoffestivalsmenschorus.org or email cofmenschorus@gmail.com.
Sept. 4—Fall Meet and Greet at the LGBT+ Resource Center (UW-Milwaukee LGBT Resource Center, 2200 E. Kenwood Blvd., Union WG-89): School’s back in session, so stop by this 4-6 p.m. mixer and meet other UWM students who make up your community. Discover the center’s planned activities, meet the faculty and discover the resources waiting for you.
Ask Ruthie a question or share your events with her at dearruthie@shepex.com. Follow her on Instagram @ruthiekeester and Facebook at Dear Ruthie. Watch, like, subscribe and share her reality show, “Camp Wannakiki Season Two,” on YouTube today!
