Dear Worried Mom

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Dear Ally, 

I’m very worried about the upcoming presidential election and the lack of excitement from our younger generations. My college-educated daughter and her husband (in their 30s) have two young children and good jobs. They just bought their first home and are living the American dream. But it seems that their only exposure to news and world events is through social media and their friends and family.  

Overall, they’re very removed from other viewpoints (including mine), that could teach them different perspectives. Add working remotely to the mix and my conclusion is that they’re pretty isolated and missing a significant amount of socialization. 

I think this is just one of the many reasons, young people become disengaged. I know I need to cut my daughter some slack because her family is always in overwhelm, mostly due to the ages of their kids and are still suffering the impacts of COVID. But there doesn’t seem to be a lot of interest in doing their part to change the world for the better or try to improve living conditions for others who aren’t as fortunate as them. 

Maybe this is another generational change, but it isn’t the way my daughter was brought up. 

I try to broach the subject with her, but she just blames the fate of the less fortunate on them, rather than look at the systemic issues that are inherently unfair to non-white populations. 

And what about women’s’ right to decide their own future? The very foundations of our democracy are on the line here as well. 

I’m disappointed with her and how small her world has become. What can I do? 

Worried Mom

Dear Worried Mom,

Similar to you, I believe that this upcoming presidential election will be the most important in our lifetime. The stakes are high for our country and the world’s future. 

Your beliefs and commitment to make the world a better place and to help others is also admirable. 

Finally, your concern about the socialization of remote workers is legitimate as well. More knowledge needs to be shared and alternative viewpoints need to be explored. If we don’t have others to bounce ideas off of, we can easily lose our bearings with the increasing amount of fake news hitting the airwaves. 

In 2022, Former President Obama addressed this issue when he gave a speech at Stanford University, warning students that we need to be responsible consumers of information. He reminded them that disinformation is one of the major reasons that has weakened our democracy.

 “One of the biggest dangers we face,” the former president said, “is that over time, we lose our capacity to differentiate the truth from falsehoods.” Obama articulately pointed out that social media is a tool and we must carefully use it to advance our values. (youtube.com/watch?v=LH6kq3HhjgQ)

I’d like you to take into account, which I’m sure you already have, that young people are connecting in different ways than we are. Change is inevitable and they will resolve this issue in a way that reflects their view of the world. 

Rather than putting the burden on your daughter, I’d like you to ask yourself; why are your adult daughter’s views so important to you? What are your intentions for trying to change her mind?

Sometimes it’s easier to face something we don’t like about ourselves and project it onto others. 

Are you worried that you’re cut off from the world and not involved enough in your community? 

You will need to explore this in depth before you have further conversations with your family members. 

Otherwise, you run the risk of acting judgmental or preachy about others’ views. And when young people sense either, they are not able to hear a thing you’re saying. 

Listen to yourself internally, figure out your intentions and own your perspectives and motivations. Make sure you’re free of all judgement on your daughters’ actions. 

This will be the number one ingredient for future successful conversations. 

Here for you,

Ally