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Fat shaming illustration
Fatso. That was the prevailing slur for overweight or obese kids when I was a tyke. Other popular put-downs included “lard ass” and “fatty” and “tubby” as well as several I can’t print. When I was a youngster, if you were overweight, the teasing was pretty much merciless. I know, because I was, as my not-so-supportive older brother called me, “rotund.”
Some of the teasing was in your face, like name calling, mockery and derisive laughter, but it also came in more subtle forms. Fat kids were usually picked last by team captains, were rarely viewed as popular unless they fit the “funny fat guy” stereotype and were generally shunned by the A group at school.
It was common for overweight children to be physically bullied, as I was several times. On one occasion, I was jumped by the local Hitler youth, pinned to the ground and tethered to a backyard dog chain by a collar, all because I was a “fat kid.”
Nasty Echoes
It was nasty stuff, and it left a lasting traumatic impression that still echoes through my psyche and behavior to this day. And lest you think this form of bullying is a thing of the past, reconsider. A recent study shows that weight-related criticism and social exclusion are more acceptable in many circles than gay bashing, which is saying a lot.
Most disturbingly, the impact of fat shaming on youngsters is often profound and persistent. A study from the University of Nebraska shows that criticizing a pre-teen’s weight creates mental health and social adjustment issues that extend far beyond diminished self-esteem. Many youngsters in this situation end up with a deeply negative view of their bodies, one that persists even if they achieve a healthy weight as an adult. Worse yet, this highly critical self-view is strongly correlated with depression, eating disorders and, in some, self-harm and suicide. It’s no coincidence that anorexia has the highest mortality rate of any primary psychiatric illness.
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As a society, we probably feel greater license to put down those who are obese because, in the recesses of our minds, we think they deserve it. What’s more, surveys show we associate obesity with laziness, a paucity of will power and poor self-discipline. Some even believe if you shame a “fat person” sufficiently, they will take the necessary steps to lose weight.
Vicious Cycle
But the opposite is true. Youngsters denigrated about their appearance demonstrate much poorer results when enrolled in weight management programs. The research suggests their intense body dissatisfaction snuffs out the positive attitude and expectant hope necessary for achieving a healthier lifestyle. The result is a vicious cycle in which victimization creates self-reproach that, in turn, undermines the ability to adopt healthy behaviors, leaving the person back at square one.
Given this culture of criticism and ridicule toward larger folks, it’s no small challenge for its victims to feel good about themselves and avoid the comparison game with their thinner counterparts. Nonetheless, there are ways to overcome. For one, those traumatized by fat shaming may find healing through neuro-somatic treatments, such as EMDR (Eye Movement Desentization and Reprocessing) and Brainspotting, methods that alter reflexive emotional reactions to painful memories.
Also, many find solace in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). This well-researched method focuses on being mindful (engaged with the present moment), compassionate toward oneself and committed to positive behavior change, whether weight-related or not. This mindfulness/self-compassion/change trio promotes both resilience and behavioral flexibility, the capacity to meet life challenges with a creative, can-do mindset. Learning to be a friend to oneself, even when others are being unkind, is central to this approach.
Nonetheless, a broader solution involves pushing back against our societal reproach of overweight and obese people. So, the next time you find yourself looking askance at a large person, even if that’s you, remember that, more often than not, there’s a decent human being inside that body. Someone who, if given the chance, reminds us that an individual’s worth is not a function of their physical form.
For more, visit philipchard.com.
