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Personal space room
For many of us, part of defining oneself as a distinct individual involves creating what we refer to as “my space.” Establishing a physical location as “mine” and controlling how it looks, as well as who accesses it, can contribute to a clearer sense of self and stronger personal boundaries. After all, we are offspring of the natural world, meaning so-called “territoriality” remains part of our DNA.
Consequently, many of us carve out a personal setting, even if just a small room in our house or apartment, or an outdoor location (such as a garden or other natural setting) that is “just for me.” A few of us establish much larger personal spaces, like an entire domicile or parcel of land.
But it is important to distinguish between a locale that we merely own and one that actually feels like one’s own. For example, some parents talk about how, despite living in a large house, they have no personal space because their kids have license to occupy any part of the residence pretty much any time (usually not a good idea). So, owning a space legally is not the same as owning it socially.
Invisible Comfort Zone
Even when other people are present, we still carry with us a personal space of sorts. This is our invisible comfort zone, so to speak, and when persons enter it and get too close without our permission, we feel they have trespassed. Most of us have experienced some glad-handing, in-your-face type pushing into our private zone by getting too close for our comfort.
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Staking claim to a personal physical space helps create a corresponding psychological space that serves as an invisible and confidential sanctuary. Being in it helps create a state of consciousness characterized by feeling safe, in control and contemplative. Within one’s private territory, it may be easier to pursue personally meaningful activities such as reading, writing, listening to or playing music, meditating or praying, artistic endeavors, and so on.
Some of us require a great deal of solitary time in “my space” while others need far less. However, when this need remains unmet, many of us begin to feel disturbingly vulnerable to and hassled by the rest of the world. Absent a personal space, some of us feel besieged by humankind, as if we have no safe haven from other people and the daunting problems now facing our species. In fact, there is some evidence stress and hostility are caused or worsened by an inability to get away from the madding crowd.
Studies on the impact of over-crowding on human behavior suggest many of the rages and violence that plague our society are exacerbated by the absence of sufficient privacy. Most of us need time each day to escape the expectations, melodramas, demands and noisy chaos of our fellow humans, even those we love. Holiday gatherings can make this need even more pressing.
But carving out and protecting “my space” is increasingly difficult, not just due to over-population, but also because technology and media have broken down the barriers that previously buffered us from each other or that kept our work and personal lives separate.
As Henry David Thoreau reminded us, “I had three chairs in my house; one for solitude, two for friendship, three for society.”
Do your best to keep a “chair” that is just for you.
For more, visit philipchard.com.
