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Colleagues Argue at Corporate Meeting
If you’ve been following the political news, always a mentally hazardous activity, then the term “othering” should be in your vocabulary. Othering involves defining another individual or group in a demeaning and excluding fashion, basically believing they are “not one of us” and “don’t belong.” It underpins social pariahs like sexism, racism, ageism, wokeism and the like.
In the political arena, Trump and Vance fully embrace othering, mostly directed at immigrants, “childless cat ladies,” so-called “woke” individuals and many others. Harris and Walz do some of their own by defining their opponents as “weird,” among other derisive labels, although they tend to target individuals more than groups. MAGA adherents and Harris supporters spend lots of time othering each other.
But lest we assume this process of condemnation and exclusion is solely the province of political types, most of us are guilty as charged in this regard. Lori was a case in point. She told me a new Latino family in her neighborhood was “trash.” When I asked how she knew that was true, she replied, “I can just tell by looking at them.”
Empty Suit, Obviously?
In kind, Peter was convinced his new and younger boss was “an empty suit.” When I asked if he’d spent much time getting to know him, he replied, “No, but it’s obvious.”
Othering is about jumping to conclusions in the absence of reliable evidence to support them, and it’s a popular activity in many minds. Most of us do it, some persistently, and we often fail to recognize its far-reaching negative impacts on our lives, relationships and civic community.
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When we demonize, denigrate or write off other people based on unsubstantiated assumptions, we usually pay a price as well. People like Lori and Peter react to their own unfounded conclusions with anger, resentment, fear and bitterness, all toxic and inflammatory feelings that erode one’s mind, body and spirit.
Jumping to Conclusions
The process of othering isn’t called “jumping” to conclusions for nothing. It constitutes a mental leap of willful blindness that, in many instances, leaves the “jumper” with nothing solid to grasp in support of their belief. And when we act based on our unfounded negative assumptions, the results harm all concerned.
For example, Peter avoided interactions with his boss, became resentful and made no effort to become better acquainted. Even when challenged by his co-workers who felt their new manager was a good egg, Peter dug in his heels. The result? He became disengaged, stewed in his own animosity and eventually left for greener pastures, which he failed to find.
Othering is a cognitive shortcut that involves hallucinating about the other person or group based solely on one’s ingrained biases. For example, a person observes someone different than themselves (“He wears army fatigues, has a long beard and tattoos”) and then concocts a made-up story to explain what it means (“He’s probably a right-wing nut job”). Armed with this presumed certainty, the individual feels entitled to feel and act in particular ways, usually negative or aggressive. In our present political environment, othering has contributed directly to violence.
Obviously, the antidote for these delusions is to either seek out the real story behind a person’s or group’s behavior or, if unable to do so, to extend them the benefit of the doubt. Are there obvious exceptions? Sure, some people let you know who they are and it ain’t pretty. However, absent that, if I refuse to consider more benign explanations for the actions of others, that’s more a statement about me than them, and not a flattering one.
Not long ago I was railing self-righteously to a friend about a public figure, jumping to nasty conclusions about that person’s character. My buddy offered a more benign and nuanced theory for what was behind that individual’s behavior. While just as plausible as my own, his explanation included the benefit of the doubt. My theory did not.
My friend explained he’d done his share of othering, but decided it was morally misguided. He was surprised when giving it up improved his own well-being.
Not jumping to conclusions isn’t just being fair to others. It’s also being fair to ourselves.
For more, visit philipchard.com.
