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Sit On It, Derick
When Flagler County, Fla., sheriff’s officers pulled over Derick McKay, 36, for speeding on Thursday, July 11, they noticed he seemed... uncomfortable, and although the deputies smelled marijuana, he denied having anything illegal. But when McKay got to the police station (having been arrested for driving on a suspended license), he admitted that he did have some narcotics hidden between his buttocks. Indeed, Fox 43 reported, McKay was holding betwixt his cheeks numerous baggies, including ones containing crack cocaine, heroin, ecstasy, marijuana, Lortab pills and Oxycodone pills.
That’s Really Using Your Head
If you’re trying to smuggle a half-kilo of cocaine through airport security, you might want to try harder than an unnamed middle-aged man from Colombia, who was detained in late June at Barcelona-El Prat airport in Spain, according to Spanish police. The man arrived at the airport on a flight from Bogota and seemed nervous—and no wonder, with an obviously (and comically) oversized toupee under his hat, Reuters reported. Spanish police searched him and found a bundle of cocaine, worth about $34,000, taped to his head under the faux locks.
God Is My Copilot
A Delta Airlines flight from Puerto Rico to New York was forced to return to San Juan on Wednesday, July 3, after Carlos Ramirez, 30, “became unruly,” Reuters reported. “I am God!” Ramirez repeatedly shouted, according to Puerto Rican police. “San Juan is going to disappear tomorrow! I came to save the world, and I am going to end terrorism!” Flight attendants and passengers restrained the man until the plane could land; then, Puerto Rican police took him into custody.
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Microchip Your Swede
The New York Post reported on Sunday, July 14, that more than 4,000 Swedes have willingly had microchips implanted in their hands to replace credit cards and cash. The chips also help people monitor their health and can be programmed to allow access into buildings. Jowan Osterlund, a former body piercer who pioneered the chips, says the technology is safe. But British scientist Ben Libberton, based in Sweden, said he worries that people aren’t considering the potential dangers, including the unwitting dissemination of data about a person. “Do I get a letter from my insurance company saying premiums are going up before I know I’m ill?” he wondered.
Hallelujah, It’s Raining Meth!
Rapper, sports agent and self-proclaimed “Mr. Alabama” Kelvin James Dark, 37, of Talladega, Ala., was arrested in Atlanta, Ga., on Wednesday, July 10, after allegedly throwing multiple kilograms of methamphetamine off a high-rise balcony onto a street below. In a press release, the Georgia Bureau of Investigation said its agents were searching the property as part of a smuggling investigation when the drugs went overboard. Agents were able to recover some of the dropped drugs—valued at an estimated $250,000—and, in Dark’s apartment, also found two semi-automatic rifles, a handgun, marijuana valued at $60,000 and a “substantial” amount of cash, AL.com reported. Dark and 33-year-old Tiffany Peterson of Atlanta were arrested for trafficking meth and marijuana, among other charges.
Take a Bite Outta Crime
Roger Bridenolph, 49, of Springdale, Ark., was arrested on Monday, July 15, after a puzzling series of events. First, he verbally assaulted a cashier at a Dollar Tree store, then stole a box of Ore-Ida Bagel Bites, pushing a manager out of the way to get out of the store, according to an arrest report. When the manager followed him, KFSM reported, Bridenolph hit him in the head with the box of frozen snacks. Taking his show on the road, Bridenolph headed next door to a Wendy’s restaurant, where he demanded French fries and slapped a woman. When police arrived, they struggled with him, but ultimately subdued and arrested him for robbery, second-degree assault, resisting arrest, public intoxication and disorderly conduct.
Pool No. 2
This summer’s “who’s pooping in the pool?” mystery took place in the Buckingham Woods neighborhood pool in Macomb Township, Mich. The serial offender had caused the pool to close several times, and the neighborhood association took swift action: “We are reviewing attendance logs and recorded video,” a Friday, July 12, statement read, according to the Detroit Free Press. Meanwhile, the Macomb County Health Department has been working with the pool to keep the water free of pathogens such as E. coli. Further, the association also hired a pool attendant to be on-site through the end of summer. On Thursday, July 18, the association announced the offending swimmer had been identified and banned, saying it is now “looking at the various options for restitution.”
© 2019 ANDREWS MCMEEL SYNDICATION
