News of the Weird: May 6, 2020

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Not What It Looks Like

On April 22, Bowling Green, Kentucky, Mayor Bruce Wilkerson was hard at work at a house he has been renovating when he smelled cigarette smoke and "heard a ruckus" outside, so he went to investigate. The former police officer found blood on the cellar door and a bag containing women's clothing inside, but after determining there were no reports of missing women in the area, he told the Bowling Green Daily News, he went back to his work. Later, the electricity suddenly went out, so he returned to the cellar and this time found a young woman. "She said, 'I'm hiding from someone,'" Wilkerson told police, then she ran away. Police haven't identified her, but Wilkerson wanted to set the record straight before "a story would come out that I had a lady locked up in my cellar."

Quick Thinking

Eliza Ruth Watson, 37, raises chickens in Gray, Maine, so she's used to seeing foxes nosing around, but as she worked in her garden on April 23, the fox she spotted didn't run when she tried to scare it off by hollering and waving her arms. Instead, the animal lunged toward her, ready to attack. "Thinking back on it now, the fox was a mangy, stanky fox," Watson told the Sun Journal. She responded by kicking it, but "it kept coming back, and I kept kicking it." Finally Watson grabbed the fox around the neck, and as it fought back, she shoved it into a large pot used for scalding chickens, sealed the lid and called 911 and her husband. At the hospital, she received five rabies vaccine injections. "People kept asking, 'Are you the one who wrestled the fox?'" she said. "It's certainly not how I expected to spend my day."

Zoom Fatigue

A videoconference meeting of the Vallejo, California, planning commission got a little weird on April 20 when commissioner Chris Platzer announced, "I'd like to introduce my cat," then was seen throwing the cat off-screen. Later Platzer was seen drinking a beer, and after the meeting ended, city staff could still hear him making derogatory remarks about the commission, the Vallejo Times-Herald reported. In an April 25 email to the newspaper, Platzer apologized for his actions and said he has resigned from the commission. "We are all living in uncertain times, and I certainly, like many of you, am adjusting to a new normalcy," he wrote. Mayor Bob Sampayan said he was bothered by Platzer's "whole demeanor during the entire meeting." The commission had scheduled a vote to remove Platzer on April 28.

ABC News reporter Will Reeve made an internet meme come to life on April 28 when he appeared on "Good Morning America" to report on pharmacies using drones to deliver prescriptions. Looking dapper in a sport coat and open-collared shirt, Reeve no doubt thought his home setup would camouflage the fact that he wasn't wearing pants, CNN reported. Twitter had a field day, and Reeve himself tweeted back, "I have ARRIVED ... in the most hilariously mortifying way possible."

Irony

The National Weather Service issued a dust advisory on April 27 in eastern Washington after wind gusts of more than 40 mph kicked up a wall of sediment. "We have had reports of blowing dust near Dusty (seriously, near the town of Dusty) on SR 26 and SR 127," the NWS tweeted. According to Fox News, the Washington State Patrol reported that SR 26 was "fully blocked" about 3 miles outside of Dusty after a car and a semi-truck crashed. The highway remained closed for about six hours.

Least Competent Criminal

North Carolina State Highway Patrol officers stopped Lance Gordon, 32, on April 24, for speeding in a car belonging to Angela Lee, 47, of Holly Springs, whom Gordon said was an acquaintance. WRAL reported authorities grew suspicious after Holly Springs police were unable to contact Lee to confirm the story, and in a subsequent search of her house and car, investigators found Lee's body in the car's trunk. Gordon was charged with Lee's murder, along with stealing her car.

Desperate Times

In Logrono, Spain, an unidentified man pushed the envelope on Spain's stringent lockdown rules, which make an exception for pet owners, who are allowed to go outside briefly with their pets, according to Gray News. The National Police tweeted a photo on April 24 of the man being arrested for sitting on a city bench holding his pet fish a fish bowl.

Entrepreneurial Spirit

Brian Wood, owner of All American Gator Products in Dania Beach, Florida, is taking face masks to a whole new level by fashioning coverings made with the skin of Burmese pythons. "Some people want to make a fashion statement even during this pandemic, so I want to give them options," Wood told the Miami Herald on April 19. The snakeskin itself doesn't offer any added protection, but the masks would allow for a filter or lining to be inserted and removed. Wood hopes to add alligator and crocodile skin masks to his offerings, although alligator, "the diamond of leathers," would be more expensive. Wood said he will be buying animals from local hunters to meet the demand.

Name in the News

Police in Gwinnett County, Georgia, finally caught up with 35-year-old Speedy Gonzalez, of Buford, on April 25. Gonzalez had been wanted in connection with a theft in January, when multiple checks were reported stolen from a mailbox in Suwanee, the Associated Press reported. Gonzalez allegedly cashed the checks, used the money to buy more than $3,000 worth of merchandise at Home Depot, then returned the goods for cash. He was charged with forgery, identity theft and theft by deception.

Recurring Theme

In the Sydney, Australia, suburb of Marrickville, a family has resorted to erecting a fence and a warning sign to scare away a "mystery human poo-er" who has allegedly been defecating next to their garage, United Press International reported. "We have installed this fence and a camera to hand over to police," the sign reads. "We understand that COVID-19 is tough on everyone but please stop

Ewwwww!

Three roommates at Northwest Iowa Community College in Sheldon, Iowa, were charged on April 20 with assault in response to an event that took place on March 13. According to nwestiowa.com, Lindsey Ann Cundiff, 20; Kyiah Elaine Kastner, 19; and Ellie Thompson, 20, allegedly removed dry skin from the bottom of one of their feet and added it into a fourth roommate's shredded cheese, then watched her eat it. No word on what else was in the dish.

COPYRIGHT 2020 ANDREWS MCMEEL SYNDICATION