News of the Weird: Week of August 25, 2022

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They Buried the Lead

Skydiver Gary Connery, 53, was sentenced in Oxford Crown Court in England on Aug. 16, the BBC reported, for grievous bodily harm after he threw his girlfriend, Tanya Brass, down a staircase. The assault, which shattered Brass' shoulder, took place in October 2020. The now-infamous abuser previously achieved his 15 minutes of fame when he served as Queen Elizabeth II's stunt double in the opening ceremony of the 2012 Olympic Games, when he and "James Bond" (another stunt double) leapt out of a helicopter and parachuted into the Olympic stadium. After the stunt, Connery told the BBC it had been "an amazing experience." Perhaps he can relive it during his 18 months in prison. 

Surprise, Surprise

Residents of South Auckland, New Zealand, were the lucky -- or not-so-lucky -- recipients of the contents of an abandoned storage container, Stuff reported. But when they got the loot home, they discovered a surprise among the items: human remains. The new owners called police on Aug. 11, whose first priority was to identify the remains, detective inspector Tofilau Faamanuia Vaaeula said. A neighbor who previously worked at a nearby crematorium noted "a wicked smell" coming from the home: "I knew straight away and I thought, where's that coming from," he said. His mother reported that detectives and forensic teams had been seen recoiling in shock from the scene. The investigation is ongoing.

Unclear on the Concept

Keisha Bazley, a mother of nine children in Houston, turned to Child Protective Services for help with her 14-year-old daughter, who had been running away and getting into trouble at school. Instead, according to Fox26 Houston, her daughter told her that a "worker had been telling her she should (become a prostitute)," so the girl videotaped the CPS support staff member. "If me, the parent, was to do something like this to my child," Bazley said, "I would be called a horrible parent. I would lose my kids." She filed an official complaint, and the commissioner of CPS in Texas, Jamie Masters, came to Houston to personally apologize to Bazley and her daughter. The worker was dismissed from her position on Aug. 10. 

Precocious

• Aug. 12 started as a pretty typical day for 1 1/2-year-old toddler Ethan and his mom, Brittany Moore, of Senoia, Georgia. They were playing with bubbles in the backyard of their home when Ethan chased one to the fence and noticed something in the woods beyond, ABC4 News reported. When his mom asked him what he saw, he said, "Feet." Ethan had discovered 82-year-old Nina Lipscomb, who had been missing for four days. Lipscomb was alive but disoriented; her daughter said she had wandered away from a nearby home where she was visiting family. "Her sister lived here in this house, but she passed away in March," Karen Lipscomb said. The Lipscombs and the Moores got together to celebrate the little boy who probably saved Nina's life. "It took a child ... that was being worked by God," Brittany said.
• A 911 operator in San Luis Obispo, California, received a call on Aug. 12 from the Zoo to You facility in Paso Robles, but when the dispatchers tried to call back, there was no answer, ABC7-TV reported. Sheriff's deputies responded to the zoo, but no one there would take credit for the call -- except one 10-month-old Capuchin monkey named Route. The deputies determined that the monkey had gotten his hands on a cellphone left in a golf cart and made the call. "We're told Capuchin monkeys are very inquisitive and will grab anything and everything," the sheriff's office remarked. 

Florida

James Hunt, 41, and his girlfriend got into it at a Clearwater, Florida, Burger King on Aug. 13, because "the victim was not eating her food," The Smoking Gun reported. When the 53-year-old woman left the restaurant, Hunt followed her and launched his cheeseburger at the back of her head, allegedly causing her to fall over a curb onto the ground and hit her chin and lip. How did cops know? There was blood on her shirt and shorts and cheese in her hair. Hunt admitted hitting her with the cheeseburger but didn't think it caused her to fall down. Nonetheless, he was charged with felony domestic battery and held on $15,000 bond. 

Just Keep Digging

Stephen McCarthy, 31, a physician's assistant in Allentown, Pennsylvania, has been under suspicion of trafficking steroids and stimulants, LehighValleyLive reported. Federal agents were on the case, but no charges had been filed. That is, until McCarthy got in touch with one of the DEA agents, threatening to disfigure and rape him, on July 8. "I hope you get into a car accident and die," McCarthy added for good measure. His attorney, John Waldron, said his client was frustrated with the ongoing investigation and "couldn't deal with it anymore." McCarthy was indicted on Aug. 4 and released on $100,000 bond on Aug. 9. 

Sweet Revenge

A 31-year-old man in Seoul, South Korea, has been ordered to pay his ex-girlfriend $1,150 after an argument ended with him urinating into her Louis Vuitton handbag, Oddity Central reported. The incident took place in October as the couple argued about her spending habits; the spiteful boyfriend retrieved the bag, unbuttoned his pants and let loose into the bag as the woman looked on. He later tried to cover up the evidence by pouring liquid deodorant into the bag, but DNA tests confirmed the presence of urine and tied it to him, and he confessed.

Ewwwww

Miller High Life has a new product introduction: Ice Cream Dive Bar, United Press International reported. The collaboration with Tipsy Scoop, maker of alcohol-infused ice cream, comprises all your favorite flavors from a dive bar: beer, peanuts, tobacco smoke, caramel and dark chocolate. The bars contain up to 5% alcohol, which you may need after you see the price: $36 for a six-pack. 

Awesome!

News of the Weird generally eschews world record stories, but this one seems happily adventurous. Peter McConville and Pavel "Pasha" Krechetov of Austin, Texas, and Abdullahi Salah, of Minneapolis, broke a world record by traveling to all 50 United States in five days, 13 hours and 10 minutes, starting on May 13. They started in Vermont, KXAN-TV reported, and finished the continental part in Washington, then flew to Alaska and finally Hawaii, having spent about $12,000 and 120 hours in a rental car. McConville said the Grand Canyon in Arizona was his most memorable moment of the trip: "I can't even describe what that experience was, not only because we were so tired, but we were seeing so much at once," he said. The group's record is listed by All Fifty States Club, as Guinness discontinued listing speed records in 1996. 

Update

Remember the fatal lightning strikes in Washington, D.C., on Aug. 6? Those shocking events were responsible for the deaths of three people, WUSA-TV reported. Amber Escudero-Kontostathis, 28, of Newbury Park, California, was with the group huddling under trees during the storm, and she was the lone survivor. Escudero-Kontostathis suffered burns down the left side of her body and initially couldn't walk, but she's now using a walker and looking forward to getting back to her job. What saved her? She and her mother, Julie Escudero, think the thick rubber soles on her Dr. Martens boots helped out. But she also credits the first responders and traveling nurses who happened to be in the park for their quick action. "The trauma doctor ... said she's an absolute miracle," Julie said.