News of the Weird: Week of Februrary 23, 2023

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Family Values

Tony Toto and his wife, Frances, of Allentown, Pennsylvania, are celebrating 57 years of marriage, WFMZ-TV reported in a feel-good Valentine's Day story. "We have been blessed that we had all these years," Tony said, noting "that one time when we had a rough time." Yeah, that was the time in 1983 when Frances hired teenaged hitmen five times to kill Tony. "I don't think I was thinking straight," Frances said. "It was like it was a love-hate kind of a thing." Of course, the murder attempts weren't successful, and Frances and the young hitmen were arrested. She spent four years in prison, but their love never wavered. A feature film called "I Love You to Death" was made about their troubles, and they became minor celebrities, traveling to movie premieres and giving interviews. Tony and Frances got counseling and committed to better communication, and decades later, have a long marriage to show for their efforts.

The Aristocrats

On Feb. 11, during an intermission at the Hannover State Opera House in Hannover, Germany, ballet director Marco Goecke shocked even himself when he approached the dance critic from the Frankfurter Allgemeine Zeitung newspaper, Wiebke Huester, and smeared animal feces on her face. The Associated Press reported that Goecke was unhappy with a recent review of a production he staged in The Hague. Following the incident, he took off through the crowded theater lobby. But strangely, Goecke seemed to justify his actions in a later interview, saying that after having his work "soiled for years ... Once a certain point has been reached, I disagree." The opera house suspended and banned him from the facility until further notice.

Weird Science

People who suffer from chronic constipation now have a high-tech treatment option: a vibrating pill that stimulates the colon, CNN reported. The Vibrant capsule, prescribed by a doctor, is taken at bedtime and reaches the large intestine about 14 hours later. Vibrations cause the gut to contract, moving food along. Eventually, the capsule is eliminated and makes its way to a sewage treatment plant, where it's sifted out and sent to a landfill. Dr. Eamonn Quigley of Houston Methodist Hospital helped test the new technology. He said most people couldn't feel it working. "A minority could feel it. None of them felt it was being uncomfortable." But we're uncomfortable just reading this.

Unconventional Weaponry

Christopher Gaddis, 41, was holding a cat in his arms when he was approached by Metro Nashville Police officers on Feb. 8, WSMV-TV reported. Gaddis had two outstanding warrants, and officers were trying to arrest him when he shoved the cat into the face of one of them, leaving several cuts on the officer's hands. Gaddis also kicked the officer. After being treated for his own injuries from the cat, Gaddis was charged with resisting arrest and assaulting an officer.

It's Come to This

In what prosecutor Owen Beale called an "organized criminal matter," Joby Pool, 32, pleaded guilty to theft and criminal damage in Kidderminster, England, magistrates court, The Guardian reported. His crime? Pool broke into a warehouse on Feb. 11 and towed away a trailer with about 200,000 Cadbury Creme Eggs, valued at about $37,000. He didn't get very far; when police stopped him, he "walked toward (them) with his hands up." "This clearly wasn't spur-of-the-moment offending," Beale said. "You don't just happen to learn about a trailer with that kind of value being available." The "Easter bunny," as police dubbed him, will be sentenced in March to about two years in jail.

Bright Ideas

• In the Germantown neighborhood of Philadelphia, one gas station is employing a dramatic tactic to try to keep people experiencing homelessness away: blasting opera music over its outdoor speakers. WPVI-TV reported that neighbors aren't fans: "I heard all this music, I couldn't tell where it was coming from. Loud, it was unbelievable that time of night," said Clinton Barnes, who lives close by. "I don't think it's a deterrent," said Karen Clark. "They have to find something else." One neighbor said it was as loud as if someone had "cranked the volume all the way up" on the TV inside their home. Gas station employees refused to comment.
• Austin Bristoe, 26, of Bloomington, Indiana, was sick and tired of people breaking into his 1998 Buick and stealing stuff, Fox59-TV reported. On Feb. 12, when police responded to a car fire, they found Bristoe just standing next to his burning vehicle, and he told them he set it on fire to stop the thefts. "If there was nothing left of the vehicle, then there would be nothing left to steal," Bristoe's logic went. As it burned, the fire caused a small explosion, and Bristoe commented, "I hoped the explosions would be bigger." After arresting him for arson, they searched him, finding several packed syringes and benzodiazepine.

Suspicions Confirmed

Police in Santa Cruz, California, are warning locals not to "engage" with the Cookie Monster, KION-TV reported on Feb. 15. A man named Adam Sandler (not the actor), known to dress up as "Sesame Street" characters and harass people, has surfaced in Santa Cruz. Resident Sarah Jones said he entices people "to want to take a photo with him," but as soon as they approach, he flips up his costume head and starts yelling. "Based on how dirty his costume was I knew it wasn't going in the right direction," she said. Sandler has not been charged with any crimes.

Update

News of the Weird reported last August about a 3 1/2-foot-tall, 200-pound bronze statue of Dennis the Menace that had disappeared from a playground in Monterey, California. On Feb. 8, Monterey County Sheriff Tina Nieto announced that Dennis had been found in Roberts Lake after authorities received an anonymous tip, the Associated Press reported. They were sure it was the same statue because the thief had cut through one of Dennis' feet to remove it, and the recovered statue's foot is damaged. "Today is a happy day!" Nieto gushed.

Weird Fashion

It's about time! Japanese garment company Takikou has developed a wearable bean bag, Oddity Central reported. "This concept was born out of the idea of a cushion that would allow you to totally let go, anytime, anywhere," said the company's Shogo Takikawa. "You can put this on and chill out in your living room or loads of other places." The bean bag is available in different sizes and colors, but it does weigh about 11 pounds (which might make you want to sit down more often). Prices range from $60 to $119.

Least Competent Criminal

Jose Luis Callisaya Diaz, who is serving a 15-year term in the maximum-security Chonchocoro prison facility in Bolivia, made a bold attempt at escape in February, Fox News reported. Diaz, also known as El Arana ("the spider"), wrapped himself in a sheepskin, got past a wall and crawled through the countryside surrounding the prison in the middle of the night. Juan Carlos Limpias said Diaz "took advantage of the inclement weather to try to escape through one of the walls of the external perimeter of the prison." He was apprehended after guards noticed he wasn't in his cell and photographed on all fours in the grass. Perhaps he needs a new nickname: La Oveja.

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