News of the Weird: Week of January 4, 2024

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Creme de la Weird

The Kyiv Post reported on Dec. 13 that Russia's security service, the FSB, has released its 2024 propaganda fundraising calendar, and it's a doozy! The front cover features "art" of an improbably ripped Vladimir Putin giving his best sultry stare while leaning on a big, black compensator vehicle. Meanwhile, the apocalyptic November image depicts an FSB special forces soldier standing before the U.S. Capitol while drones and helicopters attack it. Is this a popular holiday gift in Russia? Who knows. The bigger question: Why does the FSB need to fundraise?

Weird Science

            -- Gatorland in Orlando, Florida, can boast a fascinating new resident: a leucistic white alligator, born on Dec. 7, CNN reported. The female gator is believed to be one of only eight in the world and the only one born in human care. She was hatched along with a normal-colored brother of the same size (about 19 inches long). "Leucistic alligators are the rarest genetic variation in the American alligator," the park said. They have bright blue eyes, as opposed to albino gators, which have pink eyes. The public is invited to vote on a name on the park's social media sites.

            -- Scientists at Northwestern University in Chicago have created teeny-tiny VR headsets for laboratory mice, Sky News reported on Dec. 8, so that they can experience the freedom they will never have. The Miniature Rodent Stereo Illumination VR has two lenses and two screens to give the little dudes a realistic 3D picture of ... aerial threats, like an owl coming in for a meal. The goggles help the mice "engage with the environment in a more natural way," said lead scientist Daniel Dombeck.

Crime Report

In Louisville, Kentucky, a bronze statue of President Abraham Lincoln has been seated on a rock, overlooking the Ohio River, since 2009, the Louisville Courier Journal reported. But Lincoln's top hat, which rested at his side on the rock, disappeared sometime at the beginning of December. The sculptor, Ed Hamilton, suspects the hat was stolen: "It was anchored down into that monolith rock," he said. "I don't know what they could have used, maybe some more manpower or some crowbars. Bring the hat back, because you can't wear it," he warned potential thieves. Police and park officials are investigating.

Bright Idea

An unnamed 22-year-old man from Taiwan was detained on Dec. 5 at the Suvarnabhumi International Airport in Bangkok after he was found to be transporting two Asian small-clawed otters and a prairie dog, Metro News reported. The man had the animals stuffed into three separate socks and taped into his boxer shorts; security officers became suspicious about the large bulge below the man's waistband. They believe he purchased them at a market in the city. The animals were taken to the Wildlife Conservation Office; the smuggler was arrested. "We will catch anyone who tries to take animals on planes," a Thai customs department spokesperson said.

Suspicions Confirmed

Cops in Genoa, Italy, were stumped by a drug-trafficking case in their city, BNN reported on Dec. 1 -- that is, until they noticed a large number of bald and beardless men visiting a local barbershop. Investigators initiated surveillance and searched the shop, where they found 100 grams of cocaine, precision scales and packaging materials. They also found hashish at the barber's home and evidence of ongoing communication with inmates in a Genoa prison. The 55-year-old barber is awaiting sentencing at the Marassi prison.

Awesome!

The Burnside Shelter in Portland, Oregon, hit the jackpot earlier in the year when workers discovered a pair of gold sneakers at the bottom of a donation bin, United Press International reported. Turns out, the Air Jordan 3 kicks were commissioned by Spike Lee for him to wear at the 2019 Academy Awards -- and they're valued at more than $10,000, according to Sotheby's. The auction house will donate 100% of the proceeds, expected to be as much as $20,000, to the Portland Rescue Mission, which operates the shelter. Bidding continues through Dec. 18.

Wait, What?

Sergey Vladimirovich Ochigava was arraigned on Dec. 5 in Los Angeles federal court after a bizarrely uninterrupted trip from Denmark to L.A., the Associated Press reported. The Russian flew in November without a ticket, passport, visa or seat assignment. Flight crew members told investigators that he wandered around the plane and switched seats while talking with other passengers. When U.S. Customs and Border Patrol searched his belongings, they found "Russian identification cards and an Israeli identification card," court documents outlined. Ochigava gave a variety of explanations, including that he hadn't slept in three days and wasn't sure how he got through security in Copenhagen. A trial is scheduled for Dec. 26.

Compelling Explanation

Michael Green, 50, and Byron Bolden, 37, were sentenced in December in Colorado's 18th Judicial District for felony theft after they shoplifted about $2,100 worth of items from a Kohl's store, The Denver Gazette reported. In Colorado, theft under $2,000 is a misdemeanor, which is why their defense counsel creatively argued that the store was having a sale, and the men had coupons, which brought the value of the items down below the threshold for felony theft. The DA wasn't having it: "Just because an item is on sale doesn't mean it's free to steal," said John Kellner. "Retailers in our community are fed up with theft, and my office will actively prosecute these offenders."

Least Competent Criminal

            -- On Dec. 9, as first responders were assisting a person "experiencing an altered mental state" in Columbia County, Florida, Stanley Williams, 35, hopped into the waiting ambulance and drove away, ClickOrlando reported. But officers didn't have to chase him down -- Williams drove to the sheriff's office operations center and stopped near the main entrance, where he was arrested and taken to a hospital for examination. Williams faces grand theft and evading law enforcement charges.

            -- Leonard Thuo Mwithiga, 52, a Kenyan executive, followed his wife of 22 years to the United States, hoping to convince her to return home to him, Oddity Central reported. But when she refused, Mwithiga allegedly decided she must die. During an Uber ride, Mwithiga told the driver he was "very, very mad" and needed a hitman. The Uber driver got in touch with Connecticut State Police, who enlisted him as an informant. Between September and December, the two engaged in multiple conversations about the plot, all of which were shared with authorities. Mwithiga wanted his wife "injected with something to make her very sick, 'like a cancer,'" and he wanted her to die a slow death. Finally, on Dec. 4, the informant introduced Mwithiga to a "hitman," i.e., undercover cop, who was paid an advance on the job. Mwithiga asked that she be killed while he was away in Kenya, so he would have an alibi. Instead, he was arrested and held on $5 million bond.

Saw That Coming

Kathryn Tunison Smith, 67, of Midvale, Utah, already had five outstanding arrest warrants against her, two involving her neighbors, when she sealed her own fate, ABC4-TV reported. On Dec. 12, she was arrested after a TikTok video came to light depicting Smith making racist and crass comments to a neighbor. In one interaction, Smith came onto the neighbor's property and "began ripping up (the neighbor's) garden and continued ... until the neighbor chased her away with a stick," the charges allege. Mayor Marcus Stevenson posted on X, "I'm hopeful that this is a positive step for the healing of the targeted family, the affected neighborhood, Ms. Smith and our entire community." She was booked and released on her own recognizance, so ...

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