News of the Weird: Week of September 28, 2023

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The Easily Offended

A resident of Trail in British Columbia called police on Sept. 8 to complain of a man wearing camouflage pants, which he believed to be a violation of some rule, the Toronto Sun reported. The caller, 27, said he was "offended on behalf of the military" and requested that an officer find the man and remove his pants. When the officer said he could not do that, the caller said he would remove the man's pants himself "under order of (the) king of England." The local Royal Canadian Mounted Police did look for the camouflage wearer, presumably to warn him about the caller, but -- surprise! -- couldn't find him.

News That Sounds Like a Joke    

After the long-awaited capture of escaped fugitive Danelo Cavalcante on Sept. 13, Pennsylvania State Police Lt. Col. George Bivens held a press conference to share the details of the arrest, Huff Post reported. One attendant, a podcaster named Michael Rainey, gets the prize for the most bizarre question posed to Bivens: "Was there any concern he (Cavalcante) would team up with another small man to step inside of a trench coat, 'Little Rascals'-style?" What? On X, Rainey said he "knew no one else would ask the questions that needed to be asked. Also, they were very polite in asking me to leave." Bivens shot a curt "No" back to Rainey's question before the podcaster was encouraged to hit the exit.

Awesome!

Pedro Carvalho, CEO of Destilaria Levira, a wine distillery in Levira, Portugal, assured citizens that the 600,000 gallons of red wine that spilled from the facility on Sept. 10 and covered the city's streets would not leave a lingering smell because it was "good quality wine." The New York Times reported that one tank collapsed because of a "structural failure," knocking over another tank. The distillery promised to "take full responsibility for the costs associated with damage cleanup and repair," which included one basement that was flooded. Firefighters collected some of the wine and removed it to a wastewater treatment plant.

Irony

Sure, if you work for the Walt Disney Co., you expect to have mice all around you on the daily. But at the company's headquarters in New York City, advertising staffers on the fifth floor were advised on Sept. 11 to clear out "immediately" because the building was infested with the happy little rodents (oh, and also, fleas), the New York Post's PageSix reported. "Risk management and facilities teams are aware of these issues and working to quickly resolve them," the email to personnel said. One source said the existing building is set to be demolished and "there's no incentive for upkeep. At any given time, most of the elevators are broken." Sounds like a fairy-tale job.

Bright Idea

Police in Wiltshire, England, were called out on Sept. 12 when a neighbor spotted a grisly scene by the side of the road -- an arm and two bloody feet hanging out of a garbage bin. Wiltshire Live reported that as officers scoured other nearby trash cans, one resident alerted them that the body parts were fake and he had placed them in a neighbor's bin as a prank. "It's just a practical joke that got out of hand," he said. "I've put them in a bag so they can't be seen now." Save it for Halloween, chap.

It's Come to This

Rock climbers in British Columbia's Squamish area, north of Vancouver, have a new convenience available to them: Waste Alleviating Gel (WAG) bag stations. Yep, they're poop bags for humans. The CBC reported that after an "explosion in the usage of our backcountry areas ... increasingly we are finding that there are issues with human waste, particularly in our more remote crags (cliffs with climbing routes)," according to Ben Webster, chair of Squamish Access Society. Katy Holm, an owner of a store called Climb On, called the bags "totally robust. You don't have to fear that it's going to explode or anything." Well, that's a relief!

What's in a Name?

We'll keep this short: Michael Gordon Dick, 61, of Beaverton, Oregon, was sentenced on Sept. 11 to 90 months in prison following his guilty plea for felony public indecency, KPTV reported. Dick was arrested last year after someone reported him standing on a bench in a backyard, naked from the waist down and looking into neighbors' backyards. He was on probation for the same crime when the incident took place.

Attention, Tourists!

Looking for something else to do in Washington, D.C., besides endless monuments and galleries? Check out the Museum of Failure, WUSA-TV suggested. The brainchild of Dr. Samuel West, the Museum of Failure is a traveling exhibition that features some of history's biggest busts, from Crystal Pepsi to Thirsty Cat (fish-flavored water for your cat). "We need to be better at learning from failure," West said. "I want visitors to recognize that failure is an essential aspect of progress and innovation." The museum also includes a Failure Confessional, where visitors can leave their own personal flops behind. Don't fail to check it out: The museum will be open until Dec. 10.

Cry for Help

If there was ever a place where it would be better to let a dropped Apple Watch go, a Michigan woman found it. ABC News reported that on Sept. 19, passersby called police when they heard a woman yelling for help from within an outhouse. The unidentified woman had lowered herself into the outhouse toilet to retrieve her Apple Watch, which had fallen into the unmentionable muck below. Unable to climb back out, the woman resorted to yelling for assistance, and she was eventually lifted out via strap by first responders. State police issued a statement with a warning to any fumble-fingers who might follow the woman's poor example: "If you lose an item in an outhouse toilet, do not attempt to venture inside the containment area. Serious injury may occur."

Sounds Fishy

Grocery shoppers in some BILLA supermarkets in Europe are finding themselves face to face with the latest innovation in food technology, fresh ... off the printer. Austrian-based food-tech startup Revo Foods has developed a 3D-printed vegan fish filet "inspired by salmon," which Popular Science reported "relies on mycoprotein made from nutrition-heavy filamentous fungi" that "naturally offers a meat-like texture." The company has announced that The Filet will be available on its webstore on Oct. 1, but sorry, U.S.-based wannabe print-pescatarians: Revo ships to the EU only. The company expects to reach the U.S. market by 2025.

Bear Necessities

A Krispy Kreme driver delivering doughnuts to an Express convenience store on Joint Base Elmendorf-Richardson in Alaska on Sept. 12 learned the hard way to lock up his van whenever he leaves it, after a pair of doughnut thieves raided his ride and got their fill. And when you're talking about a mama bear and her cub, that's a lot. "They ate 20 packages of the doughnut holes and I believe six packages of the three-pack chocolate doughnuts," said Shelly Deano, manager of the Express store. KTUU-TV reported that no humans or bears were injured during the doughnut raid, and base security was able to convince the bears to leave by blasting loud sirens.

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