Bad Dates
Faith Pugh of Memphis, Tenn., had a date to remember on Saturday, July 14, with Kelton Griffin. Her casual acquaintance from high school “just out of the blue texted me and asked me to go out,” Pugh told WREG-TV. They took her car and stopped at a gas station, where Griffin asked Pugh to go inside and buy him a cigar. But while she was inside, “He drove off. I came outside, and my car was gone,” Pugh said. Shortly, Pugh received a text from her godsister, telling her Griffin had just asked her out on a date. He picked up the godsister in Pugh’s car and headed to a drive-in movie. “He didn’t even have any money,” Pugh said. “She actually paid their way to get in the drive-in, just so I could get my car back.” Pugh alerted the police to the car’s location, and they arrested Griffin for theft of property. “I hope he’s in jail for a long time,” Pugh said.
Up, Up and Away
On Thursday, Jan. 25, 71-year-old Alan J. Abrahamson of Palm Beach Gardens, Fla., went for his regular pre-dawn walk to Starbucks. What happened on the way stumped police investigators for months, reported The Washington Post, and at last on Friday, July 13, they made their findings public. Images from a surveillance camera show Abrahamson walking out of his community at 5:35 a.m., and about 30 minutes later, the sound of a gunshot is heard. Just before 7 a.m., a dog found Abrahamson’s body lying near a walking path. Police found no weapon, no signs of a struggle; he still had his wallet and phone. Investigators initially worked the case as a homicide, but as they dug deeper into the man’s computer searches and purchases over the past nine years, a theory developed: Abrahamson had tied a gun to a weather balloon filled with helium, shot himself, and then the gun drifted up and away to parts unknown. A thin line of blood on Abrahamson’s sweatshirt indicated to police that “something with the approximate width of a string passed through the blood on the outside of his shirt,” the final report says. As for the balloon, investigators said it would likely have ascended to about 100,000 feet and exploded somewhere north of the Bahamas in the Atlantic Ocean.
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Millennial Night a Home Run
It’s time once again for Minor League Baseball promotion fun and games! This time, however, the Montgomery Biscuits (of Alabama) managed to tick off a whole generation of baseball fans. The Biscuits announced a “Millennial Night” for their game being held on Saturday, July 21, featuring participation ribbons just for showing up, a napping area, selfie stations and lots of avocados, reported Fox News. While some Twitter users thought the promotion insensitive (perhaps, unwittingly, adding to the event’s raison d’être), others were more philosophical. Dallas Godshall, 21, said, “More than targeting Millennials, it’s sort of targeting older generations who like to make fun of Millennials.” Pitcher Benton Ross weighed in: “If it’s insensitive, maybe they should just have thicker skin.”
Silent But Deadly
The Austin American-Statesman reported that on Sunday, June 17, RV park neighbors and longtime adversaries Ryan Felton Sauter and Keith Monroe got into a heated dispute about an undisclosed subject. Later that day, Monroe saw Sauter leaving Monroe’s RV and asked him why he had gone into it without his permission. Sauter cryptically replied, “You’ll see why.” Going inside, Monroe spotted a rattlesnake, which was strangely missing its rattles, and used a machete to kill it. It turned out that Sauter had bitten off the snake’s tell-tale rattlers in an event to silence it, so it wouldn’t warn Monroe of its presence until it was too late. Sauter has been charged with deadly conduct and criminal trespass.
You’re Putin Me On
A Russian man who has covered more than 90% of his body (including his eyeballs) with black-ink tattoos underwent surgery on Saturday, July 14, at Jardines Hospital in Guadalajara, Mexico, to remove his penis, testicles and nipples because, as he sates, “they spoil my body art.” Adam Curlykale, 32, of Kaliningrad, an albino, was diagnosed with cancer and started the tattooing process 12 years ago to cover scars left behind from the disease. “I always knew that I was different from the rest of society,” Curlykale told The Daily Mail. “My favorite color, for example, has always been gray, in different tones, and that’s why my current skin color is graphite.” He plans to finish the process by inking what’s left of his un-tattooed skin.
© 2018 ANDREWS MCMEEL SYNDICATION
