Too Much of a Good Thing
After 16 years, neighbors of “Eva N.” in Sturovo, Slovakia, have gotten relief from her particular brand of torment, reported the BBC. From morning until night, the woman had played a four-minute aria from Giuseppe Verdi’s La Traviata over and over—with her speakers on full blast. “The whole street is suffering,” complained one resident. At first, the music-lover played the music to drown out a neighbor’s barking dog, but continued the practice until Aug. 6, when she was arrested for harassment and malicious persecution. If found guilty, she could face between six months and three years in prison.
Digital Golf
In Plymouth, Mass., on Aug. 17, a friendly game at Southers Marsh Golf Club turned ugly when Derek Harkins, 46, and an unnamed 57-year-old man got into a brawl on the 18th hole. But you gotta hand it to Harkins: The Patriot Ledger reported that he pointedly ended the fight by biting off the other man’s finger up to the knuckle, according to Plymouth Police Chief Michael Botieri. The victim was taken to the hospital, but his finger could not be reattached. Harkins was arrested at the scene and charged with assault and battery, mayhem and disturbing the peace.
A Slippery Send-Off
The happiest place on Earth couldn’t work its magic on Aug. 15 when a worker at nearby Harvest Power fell into a vat of oil and grease from Walt Disney World. The plant in Lake Buena Vista, Fla., recycles the resort’s food waste, then converts it into renewable energy and fertilizer. John Korody, 61, and another worker were emptying the contents of a semitruck into a vat when Korody slipped on a grate and fell into the vat. His coworker tried to pull him out, but the fumes overtook them both, and Korody slid farther in, according to The Washington Post. The Reedy Creek Fire Department responded, but Korody was pronounced dead at the scene.
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Baaaaad to the Bone
An unnamed Irish teenager’s hiking outing became fodder for any number of bad punsters after the boy was hit by a falling sheep while walking in Northern Ireland’s Mourne Mountains. The sheep fell from a crag on Aug. 17 and landed on the boy, who was treated for injuries to his head, neck, back, abdomen and legs. “It is believed the sheep was uninjured and left the scene unaided,” reported Metro News. Punny comments on a social media post made by the Mourne Mountain Rescue Team included: “Mutton have been looking where he was going,” “I bet he’s feeling a little sheepish,” and “Ewe want to be careful on the mountains!!”
Bet He Was Pissed
On an Aug. 17 flight between Chicago and Narita International Airport in Tokyo, Japan, a 24-year-old American man, who was reportedly unprovoked, urinated on a 50-year-old Japanese man sitting two rows behind him. The younger man had consumed at least four glasses of champagne and one cup of sake before the incident, police told Japan Today, and claimed not to remember what he had done. He was restrained aboard the remainder of the flight and turned over to police in Tokyo.
Teenage Mutant Lightning Rod
Phoenix teenager Josiah Wiedman, 13, was walking home through a park in early August with a friend when he was struck by lightning, “sending me nine feet into the air, making me bounce on my head and then flip over to my back,” as he told ABC News. Afterward, doctors put Josiah into a medically induced coma for three days, and when he came to, he made a speedy recovery. His mother, who didn’t expect her son to survive, dubbed him “Superman,” and, indeed, Josiah said he’s waiting for his special powers to kick in. “I haven’t felt my powers yet, but I will soon,” he said.
I’ll Have the Double Cartilage with Extra Tissue, Please
Moses Lanham, 57, fell 18 feet from a rope in gym class when he was 14 years old. As a result, the Michigan man is now known as “Mr. Elastic.” Lanham has double cartilage and extra tissue in his knee joints, hips and ankles, which makes it possible for him to turn his feet 180 degrees backward and walk. In fact, he tells Metro News, walking with his feet pointed behind him is more comfortable than walking normally. “I’ve heard one other (person) can turn his feet, but not walk,” Lanham said of his fame. “When I perform this in front of people, I love the reactions,” he said. “One time, I had a person throw up after I turned my feet around.”
© 2018 ANDREWS MCMEEL SYNDICATION
