Love: Russian Style
A husband and wife have been exposed as murderers and cannibals in Krasnodar in southern Russia, reported the Express on Sept. 28. Natalia Baksheeva, 43, has confessed to killing and eating dozens of victims with her husband, Dmitry, 35, over a period of nearly two decades. Investigators were tipped off to the couple’s gruesome culinary tastes after a 35-year-old waitress, Elena Vashrusheva, and Natalia fought over accusations that Vashrusheva was flirting with Dmitry. Natalia ordered her husband to kill Vashrusheva. “Following this demand, the man took out a knife (which he always kept in his bag) and stabbed the woman twice in her chest. The victim died from her injuries on the spot,” investigators reported. Police charged Natalia with one count of goading her husband into killing the woman after they found “steamed, pickled and frozen human remains” belonging to Vashrusheva in the couple’s kitchen. A photo found in their apartment from 1999 showed a human head served as dinner, garnished with mandarin oranges.
Muffin-Munching Mayhem
Three cheeky raccoons jolted a Toronto, Canada, woman awake late on Sept. 18 when they broke into her kitchen. Jenny Serwylo heard noises coming from her kitchen and approached the critters with a broom, which scared away two out of the three. But a third wouldn’t budge, barricading himself behind her toaster oven and munching on a package of English muffins. “He was like, ‘I’m eating, get out of here!’” Serwylo told the Toronto Star. She tried calling authorities but couldn’t get any help, and her contest of wills with the raccoon lasted for more than a half-hour. “I was growling at him and hissing at him,” she said. As she pointed the broom handle at the animal, “he would grab the end and yank it really hard.” Finally, having consumed all the bread in the kitchen, the raccoon calmly went out the window, which Serwylo locked behind it. Toronto Animal Services spokesperson Bruce Hawkins told the Star that such encounters are unusual, but you be the judge: The city has created a guide for residents about how to deal with raccoon intrusions.
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One Hot Party
Gender-reveal events, in which expectant parents creatively announce the sex of their unborn children, are taking on increasingly more ridiculous and, in some cases, dangerous proportions. To wit: Border Patrol Agent Dennis Dickey, 37, pleaded guilty on Sept. 28 to accidentally starting the April 2017 Sawmill Fire, which burned 47,000 acres in and around Madera Canyon in Arizona, prompting evacuations and closing highways, according to the Arizona Daily Star. It all started when Dickey and his pregnant wife hosted a gender-reveal party at which he shot a target containing Tannerite—an explosive, colored-powder-containing substance that signifies (via pink or blue) the child’s gender. When the target exploded, it caught nearby brush on fire, and Dickey immediately reported the wildfire and admitted he had started it. Dickey will pay $220,000 in restitution; he is expected to keep his job.
Well-Preserved
The Wagner Funeral Home in Jordan, Minn., made news on Sept. 26 when a judge released the details of a ruling against the mortuary for, among other violations, storing jarred applesauce in the same room where corpses are embalmed. Joseph Wagner, who runs the funeral home, was just helping his brother, who owns nearby Wagner Bros. Orchard and needed some extra storage space, according to the Minneapolis Star Tribune. But the Minnesota Department of Health took issue with the jars being stored adjacent to a hazardous waste container, where blood and other waste from the embalming process are disposed of. Wagner was ordered to correct the violations and pay a $5,000 penalty.
Some Choice!
In the remote town of Yungar, Peru, two candidates for mayor with remarkable names are duking it out: Local politician Hitler Alba Sanchez, who served as mayor from 2011 to 2014, has been challenged by Lennin Vladimir Rodriguez Valverde. Sanchez told The Independent that his parents had been unaware of the Nazi connection to his name when he was born, but even after realizing its origins, his father liked it because it “sounded foreign.” Peruvians are known for choosing foreign-sounding first names for their children: Last year, Peru’s junior football team featured a player named Osama Vinladen.
“How Much for the Little Girl?”
At a Port Orange, Fla., Walmart on Sept. 28, Tracy Nigh and her 8-year-old daughter were taking a break on a bench inside the store when 81-year-old Hellmuth Kolb approached them and asked if Nigh was married. “He didn’t seem like a threat at first,” Nigh told WKMG-TV, but then Kolb started offering to buy the little girl. “The first amount was $100,000, the second amount was $150,000 and then the final amount was $200,000,” Nigh said. “I then said, ‘No, we have to go.’” They rose to leave, but Kolb grabbed the girl’s wrist and kissed it. Nigh alerted store security, and the encounter was recorded on surveillance video. Kolb was arrested and charged with simple battery and false imprisonment.
© 2018 ANDREWS MCMEEL SYNDICATION
