News of the Weird newspapers illustration
Getting What You Paid For
Jennifer Colyne Hall, 48, of Toney, Ala., was distraught when she called the Limestone County Sheriff’s Office dispatch on Wednesday, Oct. 2, so officers were sent to see her. Public information officer Steven Young told The News Courier the officers first approached Hall’s landlord, who told them she had been “acting strangely” and hinted she might be on drugs. When the officers spoke to Hall, she produced a clear bag from a baby wipes container and told them, “I want this dope tested!” because, she feared, the methamphetamines in the bag might contain some other drugs she hadn’t requested. Asked if she had consumed the product, Hall said she had, but, unsurprisingly, couldn’t remember when. She was arrested and charged with possession of a controlled substance.
People With Guns
An unidentified man in Phoenix became angry at his upstairs neighbors for making too much noise on Sunday, Oct. 6. He first tried banging on their door around 11:20 p.m. but then returned to his apartment, grabbed his pistol and fired several shots into his ceiling—one of which ricocheted and hit him in the face, according to the Arizona Republic. Although no one else was injured, the shooter was taken to the hospital in extremely critical condition.
People With Knives
An apparent dispute over pigeons at Pershing Field in Jersey City, N.J., has resulted in Charles Lowy, 69, facing eight years in prison for reckless manslaughter, according to The Jersey Journal. In April 2018, Lowy stabbed former schoolteacher Anthony Bello, 77, to death after they argued about Lowy’s habit of feeding pigeons in the park. Lowy’s attorney called Bello the “mayor of the block,” said he was the aggressor in the altercation and that Lowy had stabbed him in self-defense. Hudson County Superior Court Judge Sheila Venable sentenced Lowy on Friday, Oct. 4.
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Jesus, Take the Wheel
Homeowner Linda Taylor-Whitt of Lynwood, Ill., and her family returned home from a birthday dinner on Saturday, Oct. 5, to find “a wheel coming through [her] washroom ceiling” in an upstairs bathroom. Taylor-Whitt, who lives about a mile from Lansing Municipal Airport, told the Chicago Tribune she “didn’t know what kind of wheel it was at first. I guessed it was an airplane wheel,” she said. But it was from a helicopter, according to Amy Summers of SummerSkyz Inc., a helicopter flight school. When Summers heard about the incident, she knew she’d found the ground-handling wheel she’d been missing and called Taylor-Whitt to apologize. The wheel had apparently been left on one of the company’s helicopters during flight and fell off. Taylor-Whitt—given the fact that aircraft crash and kill innocent people every day—felt special: “I am glad, thank you, Jesus, that it was a wheel instead of a plane, because it could have been bad,: she commented.
Jesus, Ditch the Sandals
Hallelujah! Now you can buy a customized pair of Nike Air Max 97s dubbed “Jesus Shoes” from a Brooklyn, N.Y., company called MSCHF. Introduced on Tuesday, Oct. 8, the shoes have 60ccs of “holy water” taken (they claim) from the Jordan River injected into the soles, “so you can literally walk on water,” noted Cosmopolitan. Jesus Shoes also sport a crucifix in the laces, red insoles (harkening to Vatican traditions) and a Matthew 14:25 inscription. They are also scented with frankincense and have a godly white and light blue color scheme. Jesus Shoes originally sold for $1,425 a pair but now fetch anywhere from $2,000 to $11,000.
Oops!
In downtown Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada, on Tuesday, Oct. 8, an unnamed elderly driver managed to flip her Honda Accord over onto its roof and injure herself, her passenger and several pedestrians while trying to… parallel park! According to CTV News, as she tried to back into a parking spot, the driver accelerated, jumped the curb and slammed her Honda into an immigration office before it came to rest on the sidewalk.
Garage Sale
Sure, there are probably plenty of stolen goods for sale on Facebook Marketplace, but according to authorities in Oklahoma City, Vicki Treaster, 36, went big. She’s been charged with stealing a garage and posting it for sale for $1,500. Coincidentally, the original owner was browsing Marketplace when he saw Treaster’s ad, which included photos of two people taking his building apart and notified police. KOCO reported Treaster changed her story several times when questioned by police about how she came to own the building, according to court documents. Treaster was charged in early October with grand larceny.
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