News of the Weird newspapers illustration
Manson Family Values
The Sharonville, Ohio, police department found a way to turn a resident’s misconceptions about marijuana laws in Hamilton County into a teaching moment on Sept. 3. The department posted on its Facebook page a recording of a call received on Aug. 25 from “Mr. Marilyn Manson,” who complained that “two Sharonville cops stole my fucking weed last night.” The angry man insisted that anything “under 100 grams is cool.” But he was, in fact, wrong: It is legal to possess up to 100 grams of marijuana in the city of Cincinnati, but that law does not cover the entire county—including Sharonville. In a second call to police, the caller also complained that the officers had taken his carryout order from Red Lobster. “It was fresh Cajun fucking pasta!” he ranted. Fox19 reported that a police supervisor later met with the man to clarify the laws about marijuana and explain what had happened to his dinner.
What’s in a Name?
Rep. Raul Ruiz, 47, a California Democrat representing the 36th Congressional District, may face an unusual opponent in the November 2020 election: Republican candidate Raul Ruiz, 57, a construction contractor. “I want to give the citizens another option,” challenger Ruiz told Politico. “I’ll say this. I had the name first.”
Let’s Make It Easy
Gary Lambe, 54, made the job of the Toronto (Canada) Police Service easier on Aug. 23 when he allegedly made a photocopy of his face during a break-in at a commercial property there. Police said the suspect “ate some food items” and created the picture of his face, which he left behind on the copying machine. Fox News reported that police eventually charged Lambe—who was already in custody for an unrelated incident—with breaking and entering and failing to comply with probation.
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Calling Marvel Studios
Yusuke Taniguchi, 34, a shopping mall clerk in Koto City, Japan, was arrested earlier this year for using his superpower—a photographic memory—for evil. According to police, Taniguchi was able to memorize more than 1,300 numbers from credit cards as people used them at his shop register, SoraNews reported. He admitted to investigators that he would remember the name, card number, expiration date and security code, then write the information down as the customer walked away, later using the accounts to make online purchases of items he would then sell. Police, who tracked him to his address by using orders for two expensive handbags, found a notebook with hundreds of accounts listed.
You’re a Grand Mother
In the southern Indian state of Andhra Pradesh, 74-year-old Mangayamma Yaramati gave birth to twin girls on Sept. 5. Yaramati and her 82-year-old husband had wanted children for years, but they had been unable to conceive. “We tried many times and saw numerous doctors,” Yaramati said. “So, this is the happiest time of my life.” The Washington Post reported that Yaramati had already gone through menopause, so a donor’s egg was fertilized with her husband’s sperm and then implanted in her uterus. Her doctors, who claimed she is the oldest person in the world to give birth, delivered the twins via cesarean section.
The Bot-y Beautiful
The SC-Club, a nightclub in Nantes, France, is celebrating its fifth anniversary with a new attraction: robot pole dancers. The bots will wear high heels and sport a CCTV camera for a head, along with mannequin parts overlaid on their robot bodies, reported Sky News on Sept. 1. The camera-head is designed to “play with the notion of voyeurism,” designer Giles Walker explained. Club owner Laurent Roue assured patrons the robots won’t replace his 10 human dancers.
See Some Problems with This?
The town of Porthcawl, Wales, is fighting back against the misuse of its public restrooms by installing high-tech toilet stalls with water jets that will spray users who are smoking, taking drugs or having sex. Sky News reported on Aug. 17 that the new stalls will have weight-sensitive floors to make sure only one person is using the facilities at a time, smoke detectors, and the walls will be graffiti-resistant. There will also be a time limit to discourage overnight stays.
© 2019 ANDREWS MCMEEL SYNDICATION
