Grandparents and grandchildren often enjoy a special bond. In The Farewell, the bond crosses continents and multiple time zones. Billi (Awkwafina), an aspiring writer in Manhattan, speaks regularly by cell phone with her grandmother Nai Nai (Zhao Shuzhen). Among other things, Nai Nai warns Billi to dress for the cold, adding, she read somewhere “that in New York, people will steal your earrings.”
The Farewell is a family comedy, sweet yet laced with sadness over the passage of people and places that are gone. When Nai Nai, a vigorous woman in her 80s, is diagnosed with lung cancer and given three months to live, the family refuses to tell her. The impending wedding of Billi’s cousin in China becomes a family reunion where the secret must be kept. “Look at you, you can’t hide your emotions,” says Billi’s mother, asking her to just stay home. But headstrong Billi flies to China anyway and agonizes over whether the family’s decision is best.
Written and directed by Chinese American filmmaker Lulu Wang, The Farewell brims with well-timed comedic moments, many of them delivered by Nai Nai. Despite her persistent cough, which she chalks up to a cold, the energetic old woman takes charge of every aspect of the impending wedding. “He’s my only grandson—we can’t afford to look cheap,” she insists. As for the grandson’s suspiciously brief three-month courtship, that’s no good: let’s say it’s been a year so people won’t talk. At the hospital, as Billi and the cancer doctor discuss Nai Nai’s irreversible illness, grandmother plays matchmaker. “They both speak English! And he’s so handsome!”
Billi is sulky at times (her mother was right!) and one wonders about her killjoy devotion to truth. Even if she can’t fully accept her family’s explanation that it’s a “good lie” or that in China the entire family must “carry the emotional burden” for Nai Nai, does Billi want to spoil the wedding? And truth be told, Billi isn’t exactly forthright about her rejection by the Guggenheim Foundation for a fellowship.
The contrasting East-West values of the collective versus the individual is incorporated nonjudgmentally into the story. No one preaches and messages are left for signboards. Although they may have different perspectives, Nai Nai and Billi share an independent spirit as well as the bond of family and memory. The Farewell is funny and quietly moving.
