Dear Ruthie,
I’ve been dating this guy for about two months. I want to get serious, but he can’t get off unless I’m wearing workout gear, like a jock, shorts or socks, which must have been actually worn during a recent workout. WTF? Can’t we just do it? It was cool at first, but now it gets in the way. Should I move on or make it work?
—Worn-out Jock
Dear Ruthie,
I met a woman this summer. Due to the way she was dressed, I thought she had a rubber fetish, which I could live with. It turns out she has what’s called a “medical fetish.” I actually love her nurse costume, but when she starts playing with speculums, forceps and shit, I’m out! This is a real thing, by the way. Worst of all, she can’t have an orgasm without the medical slant. Again, no lie! I really like this girl, but our sex life is turning me off. Any advice?
—Say, Ah!
Dear Friends,
Sounds like you both have a full fetish-fest on your hands. Let’s oil up and get down and dirty!
There are a few things to consider. First, accept the fact that folks can’t simply drop a fetish. They can’t snap their fingers and put their turn-ons behind them, sugar. That said, if you pursue these relationships, you’ll need to accept their fetish.
Secondly, you need to determine how much energy the fetish is sucking from your relationship out of the bedroom. Are you constantly fighting about it? Is it the elephant in the room? Is life perfect with the exception of the fetish? Weigh your answers when considering putting the veto stamp on your relationship.
A visit to a sex therapist might be a good idea, too. A therapist can help you both cope with this issue in and out of the sack. Don’t want to put that much time and energy into this relationship? Then I think you have your answer about sticking with your partner right there!
UPCOMING EVENTS:
Oct. 12: Opening Night UW-Milwaukee LGBT Film/Video Festival (Various locations): Grab your popcorn and Milk Duds! The curtain is about to go up on the 31st annual film fest that keeps Milwaukee talking. Offering regional films by, for and about the LGBT community, the festival runs through Oct. 23. Don’t miss the dozens of entries that include documentaries, short films and experimental pieces in addition to full-length features. Swing by uwm.edu/lgbtfilmfestival for a list of showings and locations.
Oct. 13-16: Milwaukee Oktoberfest at Veterans Park (1010 N. Lincoln Memorial Drive): Ring the glockenspiel and strap on your lederhosen! Celebrate fall Milwaukee style with Brew Town’s longest-running Oktoberfest! Featuring more beer and food than you can shake a stein at, this year’s celebration includes a smorgasbord of day-long polka bands, a brat-eating contest, concerts, a Miss Oktoberfest pageant and a wiener dog race. Free and open to all, the family friendly event offers something for the German in all of us. See milwaukeeoktoberfest.com for a full schedule of events.
Oct. 14: National Latino AIDS Awareness Day at Sixteenth Street Community Health Center (1337 S. Cesar Chavez Drive): Join the Outreach team of the Sixteenth Street Clinic as they offer free HIV rapid-results testing, safe sex kits and testing/information regarding other venereal diseases. Stop by the clinic from 9 a.m. to 3 p.m. and take the first step in getting more involved in your own health.
Oct. 14: Big Night Out Gala at Hyatt Regency (333 W. Kilbourn Ave.): Milwaukee’s Big Night Out always puts the “fun” in fundraising, and this year’s gala is no exception. Benefitting the Milwaukee LGBT Community Center, the evening includes entertainment, silent auction, sit-down dinner and plenty of cash bars (where you’ll find me!). This year’s event tips its hat to the fads and fashions of the ’80s, so don your neon fingerless gloves and Spandex pants before hitting the 5 to 11 p.m. party. See mkelgbt.org for tickets, which start at $125. Don’t miss me emceeing the ’80s-themed drag show!
Oct. 15: ‘Eurydice’ at Inspiration Studios/Village Playhouse (1500 S. 73rd St.): What happens when the classic myth of Orpheus puts the spotlight on its heroine? You get this intriguing drama from playwright Sarah Ruhl, that’s what! Directed by Dylan K. Sladky, set in the underworld and full of memorable moments, the play runs through Oct. 30. See villageplayhouse.org for show times and $17 tickets.
Oct. 15: Coven 3:Salem Party at DIX (739 S. First St.): Get your gore on with the gang at this LGBT hot spot! The third in a series of raunchy raves, this eery edition includes special performance by bewitching new acts, drink specials and dancing. DJ Max Holiday gets the coven hopping from 10 p.m. to bar close.
Want to share an event with Ruthie? Need her advice on a situation? Email dearruthie@shepex.com. Be sure to catch her on Facebook (Ruthie Kester) and Twitter (@DearRuthie).
