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Dear Ruthie,
My boyfriend likes to watch me put things in my butt. I agreed at first, thinking this was an occasional thing, but it’s developed into a fetish for him, and now it’s our entire sex life.
We’ve gone from vibrators and dildos to candles and flashlights up my ass, and I’m done. When I ask for just normal sex, he’ll give in, but I really have to convince him and it’s annoying and he can only get excited enough to perform by watching me put stuff up there like bottles of lube, broom handles and vacuum attachments.
He calls me a prude when I say no, but I think he’s the one with the problem. Help!
Thanks,
A Friend
Dear Friend,
First off, stop putting stuff up your butt! Sex toys and items that are designed to go up there are one thing; household staples are not meant for anal invasion, so stop that!
Secondly stop putting stuff up your butt if you don’t want to! It’s your body and your sex life and your health. It’s wonderful to be an open, generous and adventurous lover but it’s quite another issue to do sexual things you don’t want to do, so stop!
It sounds like this has, indeed, become a full-fledged fetish for your guy. This means that he can’t achieve sexual satisfaction without (in this case) butt play being involved. Nothing wrong with that, but it could become an issue with your sex life as a couple.
If your sex life isn’t satisfying, break things off and move on. If you feel this relationship is perfect otherwise, work with a therapist on how you two can have a rewarding sex life when you don’t share your boyfriend’s fetish.
Ruthie’s Social Calendar
June 22—“Camp Wannakiki” Viewing Party at Hunty’s Social Club (734 S. Fifth St.): Join me and the Sugarbaker Twins as we watch the latest episode of our kooky drag reality competition, “Camp Wannakiki” from OutTV. The viewing starts at 8 p.m. See you there!
June 23—Colin Jost at The Orpheum Theater (216 State St., Madison): Amp up pride month with a visit from this SNL favorite. The Weekend Update cutie pie brings his comedy night to Mad City with two shows (7 p.m., and 10 p.m.), so nab your tickets at www.madisonorpheum.com.
June 24 & June 25—Strawberry Festival in Historic Downtown Cedarburg (N70 W6340 Bridge Rd., Cedarburg): From strawberry shortcakes and salsa to wine and art walks, this delightful weekend offers all the sugary sweet charm you can handle. Buy art from local makers, check out the adorable shops, dance at the music stages, and sip and stroll (and nosh) your way through the popular fest. The fun starts at 10 a.m. both days.
June 24—Appleton Pride at Jones Park (301 W. Lawrence St. Appleton): Keep the pride party going with a trip to Appleton! This 1-8 p.m. outdoor celebration includes food, art, live entertainment, a marketplace and more. Stop by www.fvpride.org for more information about this third annual pride-in-the-park bash.
June 24—M.A.S.H. 4077th MOB Beer Bust at Kruz (354 E. National Ave.): Join the friendly faces of Milwaukee Organized Bears during their monthly beer and soda bust. A good time is always had during the 3-7 p.m. party that includes raffles, Jell-O shots and enough bears to keep Goldilocks happy. Dress as your favorite character from the iconic sitcom, and you’ll get a few free raffle tickets. Best of all, the beer busts acts as a fundraiser for homeless veterans. Offer a cash donation or drop off some toiletries and you’ll also receive free raffle tickets.
June 27—Project Q Youth Drop In at Milwaukee LGBT Community Center (315 W. Court St.): A safe space for youth (13+) to meet peers and create a sense of community, this weekly event covers topics such as job-skill development, leadership and life skills, and alcohol and drug risk-reduction. There are lots of fun, creative art-based activities as well!
Have a question for Ruthie? Want to share an event with her? Contact Ruthie at DearRuthie@ShepEx.com.
