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Dear Ruthie,
After two years of friendship, a friend of mine ended our relationship. She didn’t ghost me entirely, but she has not returned my texts, messages or calls. I kind of gave up, but I still miss her a lot.
The other day I found out that she came out as a lesbian. I was really happy for her! I wonder if maybe her being in the closet wasn’t part of our “breakup.” I’m wondering if I unintentionally said or did something to offend her before she came out. I’m wondering if I should reach out to her or just let it be. I hate to see a good friendship die this way.
What Do You Think?
Missing Her
Dear Missing,
It sounds like you’re still hurting a bit over the loss of this friendship, sugar. Make one last attempt to reach out to your friend. Clearly and concisely let her know that you heard about her coming out and congratulate her! Let her know that you’re proud of her.
Ask her to forgive you if you’re ever said anything to make her feel less than the amazing person she is. Let her know that have always (and will always) support her.
Next, ask if you two can reconnect again. Let her know that you value and miss her friendship. Invite her to a dialogue about your friendship. (That sounds fancier and more technical than it is, honey, but you get the idea.)
If you hear from her, great! If not, you may need to let this go for the time being and hope that someday she’ll have a change of heart and re-establish your friendship. Let me know how it goes!
Ruthie’s Social Calendar
November 2—Art + Wellness Monthly Talks at Museum of Wisconsin Art (205 Veterans Ave., West Bend): Take in this 1- hour 10:30 a.m. discussion that fosters creativity, knowledge and healthy living. Artists and healthcare experts work together to encourage overall wellbeing through artistic endeavors. The interactive presentation occurs the first Wednesday of every month.
November 3—Opening Night, Milwaukee Ballet’s Swan Lake at Marcus Performing Arts Center (929 N. Water St.): The exquisite ballet returns to the city with this vision from Michael Pink. The Milwaukee Ballet Orchestra performs the Tchaikovsky score that’s sure to captivate. The production runs through November 6, and tickets are available via milwaukeeballet.org.
November 4—Randy Rainbow “The Pink Glasses Tour” at Genesee Theatre (203 Genesee St., Waukegan, IL): I have a soft spot for men in cat eyeglasses, so I’m not going to miss the Midwest stop of the Randy Rainbow tour. The prince of parody promises a rollicking good show, loaded with all the laughs and political satire your little heart can handle. Tickets to the 8 p.m. concert start at $45 and can be purchased via ticketmaster.com.
November 4—Opening Night Andre’s Mother and Mothers & Sons at Sunset Playhouse (700 Wall St., Elm Grove): It’s a double feature of playwright Terrence McNally favorites when this popular theater offers a double dose of one-act plays. Both plays are staples among LGBTQ+ theatergoers, so if you haven’t seen these wonderful shows, now is a great time to check them out. The run ends November 6 with tickets sold at www.sunsetplayhouse.com.
November 5—March to the Polls at This Is It (418 E. Wells St.): Next Gen America hosts this noon party before marching to the polls at 1:30p.m. Enjoy free snacks and the bar’s infamous drink specials for this inspirational change-of-pace bash. Now get out there and vote!
November 9—Bingo Game Show at Hamburger Mary’s (730 S. Fifth St.): Join me and Jaclyn Jill for a bit of hump-day fun when you take in our 7:30 p.m. show. Bingo combined with kooky interactive games make for a great way to raise money for local charities. Hold your table at hamburgermarys.com/mke.
Have a question for Ruthie? Want to share an event with her? Contact Ruthie at DearRuthie@ShepEx.com.
