Dear Ruthie is sponsored by C3 Designs. C3 Designs offers a variety of services performed in-house, including custom jewelry design, jewelry and watch repair, appraisal, pearl and bead stringing, engraving and flip guards. You can read past columns here.
Pride 2020 may not be the celebration we’re accustomed to, but it’s the pride celebration we got. If I know Milwaukee, and I think I do, the extraordinary circumstances of the country will only make us appreciate the freedoms we as an LGBTQ+ community have, the struggles we face and the goals we have yet to accomplish.
As a friend of mine recently noted, we must remember that the pride revolution started with a series of spontaneous, sometimes violent demonstrations. When times of public upheaval seem confusing or scary it’s key to remember that such rallies often to lead to change, acceptance and growth.
It might seem odd to celebrate pride with so many concerning events enveloping us, but let’s try to pivot from that view. Let’s revel in the battles previously fought by our older LGBTQ community members, and let’s make our way through the pride month with a spirit of community, solidarity, hope and love in our hearts.
Dear Ruthie,
Our son is coming home for a visit, and he’s bringing his new boyfriend with him. We like to think we’re good with his being gay, but meeting a significant other is new for us. My husband and I are afraid we’ll say or do the wrong thing. Do we let them stay in the same bed? We also don’t want to move too fast and assume this relationship is forever; however, maybe it is. We just don’t want to embarrass our son or upset a potential future family member.
Thanks for Your Consideration,
Anxious Annie
Dear Annie,
What a sweetie pie you must be, Annie! I just want to wrap my arms around you and give you a little squeeze. I appreciate your acceptance of your son and his lover, but I also suggest you’re thinking about things a bit too much and/or trying to over-organize things.
So, he’s bringing a guy home to meet mom and dad. You want to make a good impression but think about how nervous that guy is! If this is a special person in your son’s life, think about how nervous your son might be about taking this step! You’re the last person in this scenario who should be nervous.
Are you OK with your son and his boyfriend sleeping together under your roof? That’s your call. Nervous this might be the newest member of your family? Relax! Everyone’s going to love each other. Don’t let your nerves get the best of you and increase uneasiness in the house overall. Try to go with the flow and relish this exciting time. Don’t overthink your son’s relationship, your reaction, etc. Don’t jump the gun and over organize the visit. You sound like great parents. Take comfort and confidence in that.
Dear Ruthie,
I’m a gay man with a straight female best friend. I think she’s falling in love with me. She knows I’m gay, but I can tell she’s falling deeper and deeper for me. She needs to find a straight man. I feel the need to address things with her but I’m not sure how to do that. I also need to hook her up with someone. Any ideas about that?
I Hope You Publish This,Basic Brett
Dear Brett,
First off, thanks for the photo. I love it when my readers attach of photo of themselves with their messages. Speaking of which, you’re a hottie! Of course you are! Your name is Brett. Why are all boys named Brett hot? I mean, how do their parents know?
Any who....it sounds like you value your friendship with this gal, so proceed with caution. You might want to note that things “feel” somewhat different between the two of you and ask if she’s feeling the same. Ask if she feels your friendship is on track, has changed or needs some changes. If she disagrees, simply try to move with your friendship and see what develops. If you continue to feel some sort of pressure or awkwardness from her, you’ll need to address things more directly with her.
I’m not cupid, so I’m not about to suggest matching her up with anyone, but if you meet the right boy for her give it a shot. Other than that, be honest with her while being considerate of her feelings.
Ask Ruthie a question at DearRuthie@Shepex.com. Follow her on Instagram @ruthiekeester and Facebook at Dear Ruthie. Don’t miss her new game show, “Dear Ruthie’s Bar Wars” on www.twitch.tv/dearruthie, and check out her hilarious drag reality competition “Camp Wannakiki,” on YouTube.
Dear Ruthie is sponsored by C3 Designs. You can read past columns here.
