Ruthie Camp Wannakiki shirt
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Dear Ruthie,
At the end of 2021, I met my biological mother. I made it my resolution to get to know her, bond and form a relationship. I did try a bit throughout 2022 with little to no success. Either she cancelled or I did. When we did manage to meet up, the get-togethers were quiet and awkward at best.
I was going to re-set this resolution for 2023 but now I’m wondering if that’s a good idea. I failed at this once, why do it again? Maybe it’s just not meant to be. She doesn’t seem to care if we have a relationship one way or another. Do you think I should just move on and forget about pursuing a relationship with my biological mother?
Thanks,
Mother-Daughter Dilemma
Dear Dilemma,
Sorry to hear that things didn’t go as planned with Mommie Dearest. The problem may have been that you set a goal for yourself without accounting for her wishes. Did your bio mom want to work on your relationship in 2022 as well? If so, did she want to work on it with the same gusto that you did? You can’t win a three-legged race when you and your partner aren’t in sync with where the finish line is.
There’s nothing wrong with wanting a relationship with a biological parent, but it’s key to understand what sort of relationship they want as well. Ask her what she feels comfortable with, knowing you may not receive the answer you’re hoping for.
Also, don’t put so much pressure on yourself. It’s ok to work on this relationship through the year, but don’t make it a resolution. Building common ground, making memories and bonding shouldn’t have a New Year deadline.
I’m sure you’re a wonderful person, surrounded by people who love you. Focus on those people and relationships if things don’t go as planned with your biological mom. Good luck, honey bunny!
Ruthie’s Social Calendar
January 6—Opening Night Heathers: The Musical at Waukesha Civic Theatre (264 W. Main St., Waukesha): The team at Outskirts Theatre Company offer this hilarious take on the 1989 cult classic. A toe-tapping score brings the dark yet campy film to life in a whole new way. The musical runs through January 15, so nab tickets at www.waukeshacivictheatre.org as soon as you can.
January 7—The Goblin King Masquerade Ball at Turner Hall Ballroom (1040 Vel R. Phillips Ave.): Now that the holidays are over, it’s time to put the mistletoe away, and party in a whole new way. This extravagant masquerade serves up the ultimate in fantasy, whimsy and pure enchantment. Hosted by Awkward Nerd Events, the 18+ bash offers music, dancing, cash bars and performances by The Goblin King Performers. See www.pabsttheatergroup.com for tickets to the 8 p.m. night.
January 8—The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas at Sunset Playhouse (700 Wall St., Elm Grove): There’s nothing dirty going on during this tongue-in-cheek musical from Bombshell Theatre. Currently the only production of the musical in the United States, this smile-fetching show promises to get a rise out of everyone. Take in this 2 p.m. matinee or check out another performance before the run ends January 15. See www.bombshelltheatre.org for tickets and more.
January 9—Wellness Day at Milwaukee LGBT Community Center (315 W. Court St.): Free health screenings, vaccinations and information are available during this 1-6 p.m. event where the community center partners with local healthcare providers and other experts. Learn more at the events area of www.mkelgbt.org.
January 10—Poetry Tuesdays: Food for Thought at The Q (2730 N. Martin Luther King Jr. Drive): Mix up your workweek routine with this open mic night at one of the city’s favorite soul food restaurants. Sign up to read your written works at 7 p.m. or arrive to enjoy the poetry at 8 p.m. In addition to the poetry slam, you’ll enjoy live music drink specials, vendors and more. Poetry Tuesdays runs every week through February 28.
Have a question for Ruthie? Want to share an event with her? Contact Ruthie at DearRuthie@ShepEx.com.
