Dear Ruthie,
I constantly put new lovers first, put their needs ahead of my own and make their priorities my priorities. Then, when the relationship tanks, I’m left with nothing. My light bulb moment came after my last boyfriend dumped me. I turned down job opportunities to spend time with him, I put my goals on hold to support his, and I even sunk money into his business that went belly up. I lost so much after this last breakup, all because I didn’t put myself first. How can I avoid making this mistake again?
Help! - Sad Boy
Dear Boy,
I’m sorry about your breakup, Sugar Booger. On the flip side, hooray to you for making a realization that can change your life for the better!
One of the best traits an adult can have is the ability to remove himself from a situation that he’s very much a part of and examine that situation objectively—even when this means finding himself in a not-so-bright light. This ability can take you through many situations, help you understand yourself better and guide you toward making better decisions.
You tend to put a lover’s needs, desires and goals above your own? Now that you’ve discovered this about yourself, stop doing that! It’s that simple. The fact that you’ve realized this in your behavior is the largest step in fixing it.
Become extremely familiar with your goals and life priorities. Write them down, think about them and work toward them every day. Don’t stop this practice when the next Mr. Right comes along. In fact, share your goals and priorities with him. Make your priorities just that…your priorities. I’m not saying you shouldn’t be supportive of a new guy’s goals, but don’t kick yours to the curb in the name of love.
Ruthie’s Social Calendar:
Feb. 2: Gay-Straight Alliance Night at D.I.X. & Fat Daddy’s (739 S. First St. and 120 W. National Ave., respectively): Gay? Straight? No one cares during this night of bar hopping, fun and friendship. Start the night at 9 p.m. at Fat Daddy’s. Grab a few cocktails and get your raffle ticket from the drag queen on hand. Head next door to D.I.X. by 11:30 p.m. for more drink specials, dancing and a hot show.
Feb. 3: Great Lakes Pet Expo at State Fair Park Expo Center (640 S. 84th St.): Have a fur baby? Don’t miss this annual party for pet lovers. From the incredible marketplace to the demonstrations, this popular Cream City expo is not to be missed. Visit petexpomilwaukee.com for ticket prices and more regarding the 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. event.
Feb. 3: John Cusack at The Riverside Theater (116 W. Wisconsin Ave.): Relive the fun of the ’80s movie classic Say Anything with the star of the movie himself. The hilarious, delightful and just plain adorable John Cusack discusses his life and career after the screening of the film. Tickets start at $49 and can be found at pabsttheater.org. The night starts at 7:30 p.m., with doors opening at 6:30 p.m.
Feb. 4: Open Play and Registration for Milwaukee Gay Volleyball Association at Beulah Brinton Community Center (2555 S. Bay St.): Play some volleyball and register for the upcoming spring season during this 3-6 p.m. event. Learn more about this fun group by emailing your questions to mgvamembership@gmail.com, or register early (Feb. 1) at milwaukeegayvolleyball.com. Registration is open until Feb. 23.
Feb. 4: Super Bowl 2018 at Woody’s (1579 S. Second St.): Everyone knows that one of the top spots to watch football is Woody’s, so it’s no surprise that everyone will hit up this sports bar for the granddaddy of televised pigskin…the Super Bowl! Enjoy beer busts, free food and the friendliest bartenders in the biz. Kickoff is at 5:30 p.m. but arrive early for a good spot.
Feb. 4: Sunday Showtune Halftime Show at This Is It (418 E. Wells St.): For a halftime you’ll never forget, visit Milwaukee’s longest-running LGBTQ bar. When the Super Bowl takes a break, enjoy previous halftime shows, favorite Super Bowl commercials and football-related musical numbers on screens throughout the bar. Suck back a few drinks, enjoy $3 pizzas and more. Hut, hut, hike!
Feb. 5: ‘The Price is Right Live’ at The Riverside Theater (116 W. Wisconsin Ave.): Come on down! If you’re gaga for the popular game show on TV, you’ll wet your pants when this live (non-televised) version hits town. From Plinko to Cliffhangers, you might have a chance to play your favorite games during the 8 p.m. show. Visit pabsttheater.org for tickets to the family friendly event.
Want to share an event with Ruthie? Need her advice? Email DearRuthie@Shepex.com. Be sure to follow her on Facebook (Ruthie Keester) and Twitter (@DearRuthie).
