Photo Credit: Allen Halas
Dear Ruthie
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Dear Ruthie,
Let’s talk about body shaming. It’s prevalent in the LGBTQ+ community, and I’m sick of it. I’m a bigger guy, and I’m really tired of my friends making jokes and comments. They watch me eat, which is really awkward, and God forbid I get seconds on something. They are all thin and go to the gym, but they don’t understand that it’s genetics. That I’ve always been a big guy, my family is big and that’s just the way it is. I’m tired of people in bars scoffing at my size, too. It’s getting annoying and I’m fed up. It’s time for this community to stop body shaming!
What Do You Think?
We’re Not All Perfect
Dear Perfect,
You are perfect, and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. You sound somewhat comfortable in your own skin, so focus on your confidence and not what others think. What they think about you is their problem … not yours.
Body shaming has always been an issue for the LGBTQ+ community. It’s a tough nut to crack because members of the community can be somewhat competitive with one another, and at times we’re all a bit insecure.
If your friends are causing you a lot of stress and hurt, take a moment to think about their comments. Are theses comments coming from a place of good? Are these guys at all concerned about your health? There is a difference between making rude comments to fat shame and making suggestions for improving overall wellbeing. If your friends are being mean, you should explain your feelings. You might also want to look for a few new buddies who value you for what’s on the inside. After all, that’s the part that counts the most!
Ruthie’s Social Calendar
May 5—Cinco de Mayo Celebration at Milwaukee Brewing Company (1128 N. Ninth St.): Food, music, dancing, a build-your-own michelada bar, and beer! Who can ask for anything more? Celebrate Cinco de Mayo like never before when you swing by this well-known brewery at 6 p.m.
May 7—Suzanne Vega at Turner Hall Ballroom (1040 Vel R. Phillips Ave.): The much-loved songstress sways into Milwaukee with her tour, “An Intimate Evening of Songs and Stories.” Get your $45 ticket to the 8 p.m. concert at www.pabsttheatergroup.com.
May 8—Mother’s Day Brunch at Hamburger Mary’s (730 S. Fifth St.): Treat mom to a Mother’s Day she’ll never forget! In addition to bottomless mimosas and a popular brunch menu, mom’s sure to enjoy The Brunchettes who put on two fast and funny (and family-friendly) shows. Check out the noon performance or celebrate Mom’s Day at the 2 p.m. show. Just be sure to make a reservation at www.hamburgermarys.com/mke.
May 8—M&M Club Reunion at Tied House (124 N. Water St.): Once upon a time, a cabaret bar in the Third Ward united the LGBTQ+ community and provided a safe haven for thousands of folks. I’m talking about the fabulous M&M Club (currently Tied House). Those were the days, my friends, and it’s time to relive the fun with this 15-year reunion. Reunite with old friends and celebrate yesteryear during the noon to 6 p.m. party. See you there!
May 8—Golden Showers Bring May Flowers at Hunty’s Social Club (734 S. Fifth St.): The Castaways MC of Milwaukee leather social club host another one of their popular beer busts at this cozy hot spot. Wear yellow and get free raffle tickets during the 3-7 p.m. bash. You’ll also find Jell-O shots, prizes and plenty of happy friendly faces. New the city’s leather scene? This is great opportunity to get acquainted with it.
May 10—Trans Clothing Swap and Social Hour at Bounce Milwaukee (2801 S. Fifth Court): Need some new duds? Check out this free, safe shopping experience! The perfect spot for anyone exploring and developing their full identities, this 4-8 p.m. event offers clothing, accessories, binders, shoes and more in a supportive environment. You can also enjoy haircuts from Hotheads Salon and happy hour with other members of the trans, nonbinary and gender non-conforming community.
Have a question for Ruthie? Want to share an event with her? Contact Ruthie at DearRuthie@ShepEx.com.
