Dear Ruthie,
It’s pride month, but I’m not feeling very proud. I’m in the closet, way in the back. No one in my life knows that I’m gay, and the feelings of loneliness, confusion, anxiousness and depression are becoming overwhelming.
I’m nearly 40, and I’m expected to be married with kids by now. I hate this feeling of being expected to be one way but truly being another way inside. I’d like to have a relationship with a man. I’d like to love and be loved. I’d like to have sex.
I want to come out, but I just can’t seem to take that step. What will people think of me? Who will I lose in my life? What can I do?
Thank you for your time,
Lonely & Confused
Dear LC,
You dear, sweet man. Start by knowing that you are not alone. Many people struggle with the coming out process. The good news is that there is help! Start by seeing a professional therapist for your depression and anxiety. A good therapist will not only address these things but help you feel more comfortable and confident with your sexuality.
In addition, check out the Milwaukee LGBT Community Center at mkelgbt.org. The center hosts the Men’s Coming Out Group twice per month (first and third Tuesdays of the month). You should also consider volunteering at the center where you’ll make new friends and begin to feel part of the city’s LGBTQ community.
It’s important to discover who you are, find your voice and unleash your completely awesome greatness on the world. In the end, it’s ultimately about being comfortable in your own skin, being happy and using that comfort to steer your life in a positive direction. Take the steps I’ve noted above and set your course to the happiness you’ll find at the end of the rainbow.
Ruthie’s Social Calendar
June 20—Opening Night Zombies on Broadway at Off the Wall Theatre (127 E. Wells St.): Combine the creativity of theater God Dale Gutzman with original music by Chris Holoyda and Milwaukee’s coolest black box theater, and you get this insanely fun evening. Tap dancing zombies invade the show with hilarious results in this original musical that runs through June 30. See offthewallmke.com for show times and tickets.
June 20—Carrie Underwood’s “The Cry Pretty Tour” at Fiserv Forum (1111 Vel R. Phillips Ave.): Today’s queen of country, princess of pop and “American Idol” icon parks her tour bus in Cream City for a night of fun. Considered one of the top entertainers on the tour circuit, the talented, sexy spitfire offers up a 7 p.m. concert with opening acts Maddie & Tae and Runaway June. Grab your tickets at ticketmaster.com.
June 21—Opening Day of Lakefront Festival of the Arts at Milwaukee Art Museum (700 N. Art Museum Drive): More than 180 artists from across the country descend on this lovely lakefront property for three days of fine-art fun. Enjoy live music, food, wine and more as you shop vendors, treat the kids to family-friendly activities and more. The three-day fest opens at 10 a.m. each day and involves a $19 gate fee.
June 21—Down Under Disco at Swing Park (1737 N. Water St.): The team at NEWaukee hosts this free outdoor boogie that takes place under the Humboldt Street Bridge in Swing Park. Dancing, a DJ, beer and plenty of laughs make this a 7-10 p.m. night to remember. When the music ends, shake your tailfeather over to Eagle Park Brewing for the after party.
June 22—Madison’s Lilith Fair at High Noon Saloon (701 E. Washington Ave., Madison): Lilith Fair was one of the country’s largest women-forward music fests in history, and the spirit of that iconic concert is being revived in Madison. Rock out while giving to Wisconsin charities during the 4 p.m. concert. More than 25 singers and bands pay homage to the likes of Sarah McLachlan, Sheryl Crow, Bonnie Raitt and Liz Phair. The $20 tickets are available via high-noon.com.
June 22-23—The Bloody Mary Festival at Fiserv Forum (1111 Vel R. Phillips Ave.): Love a good bloody? Then this is fest for you! Your ticket ($45.50 to $55.50) gets you samples of more than 14 of the best Bloody Marys in the state. Don’t miss the food tastings, live music and games as you sip your way through this silly, savory Saturday. For tickets, see eventbrite.com.
June 23—Ruthie’s Brunch Bunch at Hamburger Mary’s (730 S. Fifth St.): Join my brunch bunch when you visit Hamburger Mary’s for an all-you-can-eat buffet, bottomless mimosas and either (or both) of two shows! Doors open at 10 am, then enjoy a fast-and-funny show starring Joan Rivers, Tina Turner, Marilyn Monroe and others when “Brunch with the Stars” hits the stage at 11 a.m. Or, drop by for a second show, “Ruthie & the Brunchettes” at 1 p.m. Eat, drink and be Mary with me by calling 414-488-2555 for your table.
June 23—Racine Pride Day at Racine City Hall (730 Washington Ave.): Still feeling the need for some pride-related fun? Take a quick drive down south for a noon-2 p.m. event featuring guest speakers, friendly faces and all the pride your little rainbow-colored heart can handle.
June 24—Courageous Conversations at Merrill Community Center (1428 Wisconsin Ave., Beloit): These monthly 5:30 sessions feature guest speakers sharing their struggles, successes and strategies for life within the LGBTQ community. This month’s lecture is conducted by Cass Marie Domino, a transgender woman who has brought her story to audiences across the country. Free and open to the public, the evening concludes at 7 p.m.
Ask Ruthie a question or share your events with her at dearruthie@shepex.com. Follow her on Instagram @ruthiekeester and Facebook at Dear Ruthie.
