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With Fascist-Fest (aka Homophobe-Fest, White Folks Fest, the Republican National Convention, etc.) just days in the offing, there seems to be a hint of buyer’s remorse in the air. Back when the Republicans selected “horrible Milwaukee” (Nashville knew better and withdrew its bid some weeks before) as the site for their Fascist-Fest, the TV news featured an interview with a public official exclaiming “It’s not about blue or red, it’s about the GREEN!”
So with visions of a $200 million revenue windfall for the city dancing in its head, Cream City giddily geared up for 50,000 Trump devotees who would spend like drunken sailors. At the time, however, skeptics claimed the anticipated flood of greenbacks to be inflated. Now, it seems, they may have been right. For a host of reasons, local events bookings have not matched the hype. Now, the benefit of all the folderol is being framed as showcasing Milwaukee as a convention destination, the hundreds of millions, not so much.
Some businesses, albeit only a handful, especially those around the convention’s Fiserv locale, have announced bookings. There are also lots of property owners eagerly pitching their homes and spare bedrooms to house the delegates, members of the press, law enforcement and protesters. Rental costs range from around $1000 per night (five night minimum) for basic accommodations, to $15,000 for a luxurious, former Vogel mansion “of showstopping elegance in walking distance of the Water Tower District.” So far, despite its 11-foot ceilings and carriage house, it doesn’t seem to have found any takers.
Local bars and taverns should feel a positive impact as well, albeit one bar owner went on the TV news to announce he would be closed for the convention’s duration, saying “I’m not trying to get involved with, or actively take money or rent the space to that tomfoolery.” I’m not familiar with any LGBTQ bar owner’s following moral suit. In fact, a couple of our popular venues are owned by Republican sympathizers who are, no doubt, in gleeful myopia, anticipating Fascist-Fest to provide an appreciable cash cow.
Trump-Inspired Vandalism
Elsewhere, in an effort to capitalize on the political divisions of the moment, a popular Southside bakery better known for holiday stollen and pączki, baked a line of GOP themed cookies While neither swastika-shaped shortbread nor miniature AR-15 assault rifles in marzipan are among the treats, backlash on social media ensued regardless. Nevertheless, there have been no reports of Democrats demonstratively smashing the red, white and blue frosted elephant-shaped sugar cookies in protest. Meanwhile, the shop of a prominent purveyor of herbs and spices, known for his outspoken progressive views, became the first target of Trump-inspired vandalism. No doubt it will not be the last.
Overall, however, there is a dearth of bookings at downtown theaters, restaurants and other spaces that anticipated Republicans events to fill their coffers. Some business owners have gloomily expressed their fears of taking a major financial hit. Perhaps Milwaukee should have hosted a Tupperware convention instead.
Still, one entrepreneurial group definitely stands to make bank. They are not members of the LGBTQ Chamber of Commerce, either. If anyone is going to get a piece of that $200 million action it will be Cream City’s stable of call-girls, call-boys, and other sundry sex workers of any and all persuasions. Coping with unrequited pangs as Republicans are no doubt wont to do in their Confederate-minded burgs, here, hard right convention goers can express their god-given, self-righteous liberty and indulge in Milwaukee’s seedier side. Grindr and other digital dating sites will light up like the Hoan Bridge. The local ladies (trans, cis or otherwise) and gentlemen of the night (gay-for-pay or otherwise), will certainly have their hands full. There’s nothing like forbidden fruit, after all, especially if your home state has a drag ban or doesn’t even allow mention of the “g”-word. Prices will no doubt be inflated (and blamed, of course, on President Biden) but, as a solace, tax-free.
Down Home Hypocrisy
(Speaking of expensive hookers, you may recall the news back in 2020 when beef-cake porn star Sean Harding tried to organize high-end male sex workers (the $1000 per hour, cream of the crop variety) who claimed to have been hired by allegedly gay and vehemently homophobic Senator Lindsey Graham (R-SC), in order to oust him from power. Harding’s effort, however, suddenly went limp. Somehow, I suspect the guy woke up and found a stallion’s head on his pillow, and not the good kind. The story faded away, but not before we learned (and tried to forget) that the Southern Senator Belle allegedly screeches like Minnie Mouse when in the heat of the moment.)
Anyway, aside from the influx of cash, I suppose there is some intrinsic satisfaction for those catering to that charming, down-home hypocrisy. Admittedly though, as much as I would like to think there is some such thought behind it, a prostitute’s motive is purely about that green. Any delight taken in lofty irony is solely in the mind of the observer. For their part, while eschewing traditional family values to the erotic light of a lava lamp, GOP Johns will continue to decry diversity, inclusion and equity and all those filthy liberal ways they don’t want “shoved down their throats”, as they prefer to euphemistically put it.
Besides, what happens in Milwaukee stays in Milwaukee. Although, nowadays, with everyone making bedroom video “content” on their phones and posting it on Only Fans, what happens in Milwaukee may stay on the internet, forever.
Still, perhaps a little prone diplomacy will help change hearts and minds. Whom am I kidding …
