The 2020 Symposium on Aging by Saint John’s on the Lake takes place at its lakefront retirement home and licensed-care facility on March 8-12. The Symposium’s schedule on Tuesday, March 10, is dedicated to aging diversity and includes a panel presentation and discussion entitled “Old, Out and Proud—The Legacy of LGBTQ Aging.” Full disclosure: I am one of the panelists.
Of course, everyone endures the myriad aches and pains, memory loss, loneliness and depression associated with aging. But for baby boomer LGBTQs, there are additional complications and vulnerabilities, ones that are unique to their generation. For those born in the mid-20th century or so, LGBTQ life existed as a shadowy subculture. For many, self-imposed straight assimilation was their only choice. Compliance was a matter of survival—at least until one could move away, perhaps to college, seminary or convent or just leaving on a jet plane for San Francisco or other destination of the gay diaspora. And for that, unlike straight seniors, older LGBTQs often have no traditional family ties and can only rely on friends for support.
The subject of aging in the LGBTQ community is often avoided or relegated to passing conversation. More often than not, the discussion takes place around anecdotal experiences of ageism (I just experienced an awkward moment of that while having a drink with a senior Milwaukee activist at a local downtown gay bar when a young woman stopped in her tracks, stared at us and blurted out a caustic “What are you doing here?”). And everyone can recount a romance scam perpetrated upon themselves or another senior by a younger lover or spouse (always get a prenup), or an acquaintance’s homophobic harassment in sotto voce micro-aggressions or outright abuse by staff or other residents in a senior home and, perhaps, their re-closeting themselves as a result. The latter is usually followed by wishful thinking musings about LGBTQ-dedicated senior housing.
Beyond that, the broad spectrum of legal, financial, physical and mental health issues faced by elder LGBTQs seems too daunting for most to even begin to express, much less address and resolve.
Not surprisingly, Milwaukee is not listed among the nation’s top LGBTQ retirement cities. However, it is fortunate to have two LGBTQ senior organizations. Established in 1978, GAMMA began as a gay men’s athletic group. Today, decades later, its longevity is reflected in its membership that is now largely comprised of seniors. The group’s tag line reads “social, recreational, cultural,” reflecting its mission of keeping nearly 100 GAMMA members active and engaged. The LGBT Community Center offers its Fifty and Better senior adult program. Affiliated with the national SAGE (Senior Action in a Gay Environment) organization, it partners with the Milwaukee County Department on Aging and other health organizations to provide its participants access to social services. It also offers coffee hours and other activities. More comprehensive programs, I’m told, are in development.
Still, these groups serve relatively few members of the ever-growing LGBTQ senior population and barely scratch the surface of its needs.
It’s against this backdrop that the “Old, Out and Proud” panel takes place. Hopefully, it will begin a process to improve LGBTQ seniors’ lives. While LGBTQ seniors achieved significant advances in equality for subsequent generations, they mustn’t be denied its benefits.
Information about the Symposium on Aging may be found at saintjohnsmilw.org.
